I go out at night, and I lie on the ground.
I breath the fresh air, and I hear all the sound.
I look at the trees, as they reach to the sky,
Getting their last glimps of heaven, before they wither and die.
But the wind shakes a bronch, and a seed drops near,
And I know that new life is about to begin here.
I look at the moon, as it brightens the hour,
And I know this must be God showing his power.
I look at the stars, as the glisten above.
I know this must be God, showing his love.
And I look at the world, always changing, always new.
And I think God Almighty, an act way overdue.
2007-01-04 13:12:17 · 16 answers · asked by Anonymous in Arts & Humanities ➔ Books & Authors
What do I think of this poem?
I think it is marvelously composed. I guess saying so is not enough since it is better to qualify why one likes the poem.
My interpretation is that it focusses on the wonders of life, the marvelous process by which nature nurtures itself, an act of God. The temporal setting of night intensifies this feeling of wonderment.
I "go out at night" to "breathe (get the correct form, not breath) fresh air." Then I "hear the sound." The definite article here hightens the expectation and makes one wonder, what sound is it that made the sound?
But then before one winks, the sense of hearing gives way to sense of sight. I "look at the trees" and the trees are getting their "last glimpse (get the proper spelling) of heaven." Excellent image here combined with sense of sight! It is as if the trees also have eyes and they are looking to heavens for the last time as they are in their twilight stage of growth.
Soon they will "wither and die." Just like old people wither and die having attained their full lives. But death does not portend finality!
The "wind shakes a branch (get the spelling correct)" and we are back to the sense of hearing. . . "a seed drops near." So we know this is what made the sound of line two!
It is the seed from the trees which are soon dying. The trees have left a seed to germinate and start a new life in their stead! Nature has worked wonders. the old die but leave behind new life to continue the process of life hence, "I know that new life is about to begin here."
If nature has shown the speaker its wonders of replenishing life this night, it is not done yet. "I look at the moon, as it brightens" at this very hour. And alas! the magical secret is revealed as if whispered in secrecy: "...must be God, showing His(capitalize) power. More proof that this is God's wonderful plan? "I look at the stars, as they glisten above." Excellent deployment of "glisten." God is not just showing His power, but exuding His love as well!
It is as if the speaker has peeped into the secrets of God's love and is awakened from reverie, from some stupor to be shown afresh the Almighty's subliminal works often taken for granted, "I look at the world, always changing, always new."
Suggestions: You may want to add two extra lines and make it a sonnet. The last line is not quite clear especially "act way overdue." You may want to recast it.
Finally, give it an appropriate title and send to a publisher if it is your own composition. It is an awakening commentary on the mysteries of nature that is well overdue!
Good luck.
2007-01-04 16:17:19 · answer #1 · answered by ari-pup 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is a well-written poem. It has a very good beginning, which allows the atmosphere to be good. The many similies that you used are also very good. I say that the only part that you should change is your ending. I feel that it is abrupt, and that the last line "an act way overdue" is not very good. It is well written, and has a rhythm to it, but be sure to know that not all poems have to rhyme. Again, I feel your poem would be very good.
2007-01-04 21:22:46 · answer #2 · answered by Richard 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
this poem is beautiful! The way in which nature is described is almost mystical, the part that struck me most was "And I think God Almighty, an act way overdue"...great way to end the poem. its so sweet!
2007-01-04 21:16:49 · answer #3 · answered by Akilee 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think it's very good. Only had to read it once & got the point right away. Positive feedback to whoever wrote it!
2007-01-04 21:25:41 · answer #4 · answered by answerer 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is amazing! So beautiful with lots of passion. It brings happiness to my heart!
2007-01-04 21:14:18 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow Beautiful!!! very nice
2007-01-04 21:21:23 · answer #6 · answered by 2 cUtE 4 yOu 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i think that is a very nice poem, the rythm of it is nice and how the subject is worked in at the end.
2007-01-04 21:15:35 · answer #7 · answered by kory k 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
it touches me... very good. i like it. very good discription with metaphors and similies. And yes the world is changing and new.
bravo who ever wrote it!
2007-01-04 21:21:57 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Very good,you have a romantic heart !!
2007-01-04 21:14:41 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Are you spreading this BS around - you were over with the god botherers a minute ago ...
2007-01-04 21:14:26 · answer #10 · answered by zappafan 6 · 0⤊ 3⤋