I am a Christian woman; although I definitely have some negative down sides to my personality (impatient), I love the Lord and always envisioned myself being involved in a Christian marriage. My husband and I have very similar background structures. Nevertheless, his structure turned out completely different from mine (family). I wasn't fully cognizant of this until recently. Often times I want to divorce my husband (we've only been married a couple of months) because of how cold he can be. Certainly God does not like divorce and I did make a vow in front of God. I never pressure my husband into going to church because I can't stand to be pressued into anything. However, my husband has already cheated on me and he has a problem with deceiving me. He makes my parents and others believe that he does love me and he wants to make me happy. Sometimes I see it, more often than anything else, I don't see it. Has anyone ever experienced this type of madness before?
2007-01-04 13:01:57 · 17 answers · asked by PEACHFACE 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
You guys have to get some counselling help to save your marriage. If your husband doesn't agree to any of that, then you don't have any choice other than trying to work things out by your self (which is ver faint) or divorce.
The issue is finding what really bothers both of you in the marriage. Each person has their own concern. For e. g if a woman stops putting out, or uses sex as a weapon to control things, or stops showing any interest in sex, naturally the guy will cheat and vice versa.
People change over time in the course of marriage. Priorities change. But understanding what is important to each other is the most important thing. Wise people know how to prioritize things and how to weigh in things.
Relationships are always compromise. But when it reaches a level that one person has to compromise way too much, then it's an issue.
So step one is counselling. Other option is to get both your families involved and see if they can help you guys compromise. This depends on how united the family is and cultural and traditional background play a vital role. If none of this works, then Divorce.
2007-01-04 13:08:10 · answer #1 · answered by thewiseone 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
According to the Bible, the lifestyle and testimony of a saved wife can influence and lead her husband to salvation.
You could try to stay in the marriage longer, hoping that your husband changes. Seek counseling with your pastor or a good marriage counselor.
But, you also have Biblical reason to divorce him since he cheated on you.
Pray about it and do what you feel like God is leading you to do.
I wish you all the best.
2007-01-04 17:44:45 · answer #2 · answered by Niki L 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just remember that God will understand. We all know that it takes both partners giving their 100% effort in order for a marriage to be successful.
This man is dragging you down. You are going to church and praying. Trying to live for God. Although you need to surround yourself to the best that you can with others who will bring happiness into your life. You deserve respect. Right now you have a life partner whom is disrespecting you, and is clearly not putting any effort into this relationship. If you are starting off this badly, already poisoning the relationship... Well, it only gets worse. I would suggest you get out now, before the pain is even harder to overcome. With prayer and faith, you will get past this. Good luck! :)
2007-01-04 13:13:51 · answer #3 · answered by Emily :) 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No red flags went up before you married him? Or, did you see them and ignore them? He doesn't believe in Jesus Christ? I will not be yoked with a non-believer. Unequally yoked would mean that he is a non-believer, is that the case? If he is a believer, but not a practicing believer, that's something you can work with. I am engaged to a believer who isn't practicing, and I hope to change that by remaining faithful to my practices once we are married, and hopefully he will want what he sees me with! You sound kind of hopeless, he's cheated which is already grounds for divorce.
2007-01-04 13:07:39 · answer #4 · answered by Special K 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
not really, but I fail to see how he can love you and cheat on you. I have always lived my life believing that if you love someone, you wants whats best for them, wanting what is best for yourself is selfish, if he had sex with another woman , that is selfish, and does not indicate love. the real problem I would have with it is you knew all this going into the marriage, no one just becomes selfish after 2 months, you were willing to ignore his selfish traits until you got what you wanted ( which is a little selfish in it's own right). what you see about others is more often what you see about yourself, you may want to appear to others that you love your husband so when it falls apart, you can walk away guilt free, see everybody , I tried. he is the bad guy. I am a christian. you don't have to worry if he loves you, that is his responsibility, you only have to worry if you love and respect him, that's your obligation. if he doesn't love you on his own, there is no way on earth you can create love in him. it doesn't work that way. not true love anyway.
2007-01-04 13:17:08 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
As a Christan woman, you should know that infidelity is grounds for divorce and the Book of Matthew is a good source. To answer your initial question, I don't think unequally yoked marriages are successful.
2007-01-04 13:07:57 · answer #6 · answered by Moxie Crimefighter 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yes I have. The only way out is thru your faith. Stay strong in the Lord and pray about it and He will deliver you. Just remember, sometimes His will is not our will. But He will not fail you. I have lived a very similar life for 10 years and only saw any hope and improvement when I FULLY turned it over to him. Good luck, God bless you and I will say an extra little prayer for you tonight.
2007-01-04 13:34:04 · answer #7 · answered by rudee 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Yes, I've experienced basically the same things you have, but didn't come to realize it until after we had married. After many years, and learning the truth, I divorced him after discussion with my pastor.
If your husband is a non-believer, yet took vows before God, he lied to you and God.
If your husband is a believer, took his vows and then didn't uphold them, he lied to you and God at the time the vows were taken.
In both cases, the vows taken were made with lies, and they are null and void. He did not make a committment to you or the Lord.
A divorce is only paperwork.
2007-01-04 13:33:32 · answer #8 · answered by Susan M 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
As I understand it, fornication is an acceptable cause for divorce and remarriage, according to the Bible. You may be off the hook on this one. If he's already cheated on you within two months of marriage, you're better off without him anyway.
I certainly wouldn't recommend marrying another non-Christian, though.
Best wishes!
2007-01-04 13:06:56 · answer #9 · answered by Leroy 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Well if you are a Christian woman they you must be quite familiar with the Bible in the book of Mark, where it reads that divorce is allowed when there is sexual immoraity involved. I believe your marriage qualifies.
2007-01-04 14:35:37 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋