At first I thought about leaving but I really love him. He talked to her on several occasions behind my back. He and this girl have some history. When he and I started dating 5 years ago, he had a hard time letting her go. His first love and all of that crap. So, here we are two years into marriage and he just recently stopped talking to her. How do I get over it without choking him? She lives three hours away but my issue is if she lived closer would the conversations on the phone have turned into more?
2007-01-04 12:57:42 · 10 answers · asked by KG 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Actions speak louder than words and from what you have said I really do not see any harm in them talking especially if he is being honest with you. If you CAN"T trust him then you have a diffent set of issue and if you can trust him why does it bother you so?...You are the one he married. Don't fret over it....jealousy will only cause problems in your marriage and don't make issue out of something that really isn't a problem. Good luck.
2007-01-04 13:02:55 · answer #1 · answered by timeless_echo 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Trust is everything in a marriage, without trust there is no solid ground to stand on!
Next you'll be asking him if he really is going on that business trip, etc! Me personally...he might not have cheated physically but you obviously feel like he has emotionally cheated on you...not much difference especially since you stated that what if she lived closer (you obviously know that more would have happened).
I think your going to have to decide now whether you feel like questioning his every move from here on out or whether your going to move on knowing that without trust there is nothing really left.
I know when I was faced with the exact same thing, I realized that I wasn't so much in love as I was in love with the habit of being with him..once that habit was broken I realized we had nothing, no trust, not much love....just a habit (and I had a child with him..serious relationship). Good luck!
2007-01-04 13:09:54 · answer #2 · answered by wickedness_one 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well, not all people feel the way I feel. Whenever a man is talking to another woman and his present wife/girlfriend has no knowledge if it, I call that emotional cheating. Who knows what they are saying, and can you now believe him because he has already gone behind your back? Granted they will always have some kind of connection, but they shouldn't be having conversations behind your back.
2007-01-04 13:13:01 · answer #3 · answered by Special K 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is not a good situation...if he still has feelings for this woman than the foundation of your marraige was never solid. No one can really tell you what to do ..but I would be deeply concerned. Hon...no offense...but I think I would do some serious soul searching about myself as well...as to why I would make the ulitimate commitment to someone who hasn't given me ALL his heart. You deserve...and a marriage needs...no less than all.
2007-01-04 13:03:10 · answer #4 · answered by silentscreamer 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
He's with you, not her, for a reason. He should've let you know they were talking, but it's not big enough an issue to be this angry. They have history, and that will never go away. it's something all three of you must accept.
2007-01-04 12:59:44 · answer #5 · answered by halie_blue 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There is no marriage without trust....and you've lost the trust.
Suggest to your husband that you get a few sessions of couples therapy to put your marriage on the right track.
2007-01-04 13:00:53 · answer #6 · answered by daljack -a girl 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ok one big thing is the past is the past he married you because he loves you. not be so unsecure it is unattractive and he will leave you. If you act like it does not bother you and that you you he deserves to be with you will show him how secure you are men love that they do not want a needy mess crying all the time. Oh boo hoo my man talked to that waitress. Grow up your married
2007-01-04 13:03:03 · answer #7 · answered by iseemen 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
But hes with YOU and she doesnt live closer and what ifs just arent a good enough reason to get mad!
2007-01-04 13:01:12 · answer #8 · answered by smfry 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
they are not together for some reason right.maybe he felt you would be upset if you knew he was talking to her,so he decided to do it behind your back.just tell him how hurt you are and that you just want to be sure its you he wants
2007-01-04 13:02:22 · answer #9 · answered by starr67 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
JUST A BUMP IN THE ROAD...MANY MORE TO COME..
JUST LET IT GO..BUT TELL HIM..NO MORE..
2007-01-04 12:59:37 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋