Was anyone surprised that childbirth wasn't as bad as they thought?

Question

I'm sure all you Mums are going to laugh at that question, but I wonder if I'm panicing over nothing. Was your birth better or worse than you anticipated? I'm due in 3 months and am starting to read up on pain relief and how dialation works. It seems weird to me to hear that some people get told not to come into the hospital yet. How do you manage the pain at home if you're told not to come in until you're more progressed? All seems very overwhelming and scary.

Answer 1

I was about six months along with my now almost two year old daughter when I began to feel similarly overwhelmed. What I can offer is this: I firmly believe, for every birthing horror story of pain and self-recrimination, there are dozens of stories of surprisingly easy births (not a walk in the park, but not agony either). My own experience was smooth and astonishingly relaxed, but I rarely talk about it because there is, among some mothers an understandable need to bond over the difficulties. Some of this can be attributed to how genuinely hard it may have been for them, but some, I think, are outgrowths of some women's tendancies to bond/compete over difficulties. Believe me, there are many untold stories of births that were gentle, well managed, and not freighted with all manner of upset (physical and emotional).

Not sure if you're in the US, but if you are, American OBGYNs almost all follow the same playbook. He or she will give you very specific instructions on what to be aware of and how your body should respond to the early stages of labor. Unless you go into hard labor immediately, contractions may initially happen with little or no recognition on your part. I was two weeks overdue and in my dr.s office for 10 minutes of fetal heart monitoring. I was in a small waiting room with three other very pregnant women and we all had to be told by the nurse that those odd feelings we'd been having were actually early contractions. At home, what you will most likely feel is discomfort, pressure, but not a lot of pain. Your doc may have some suggestions for relaxing. I started the go-to-the-hospital part of labor while asleep at 2AM. Needless to say, I woke up. Timed the contractions for about twenty minutes, woke my husband, called the doctor and headed out. No real pain at this point, just, well, the feeling of a baby about to be born. Pressure, crazy pressure, not helped by all the potholes between our house and the hospital, but not the pain I'd imagined.

As for the pain of actual delivery, a lot of that depends on your choices. Are you planning to have an epidural or a delivery without medication? I decided when I was still in my first trimester that I would have the epidural and I've never regretted it for a second -- no drawbacks that I can think of. None of the myths of epidurals proved true: I felt the birth, I just didn't feel the pain, the baby wasn't dopey when she was born, I was able to push, hard labor was brief and I only had to push four times. Everyone's birthing experience is unique, but the choice to use pain relief thrills us to this day (I joked about naming my daughter Epidural. Still think it has a nice ring.). I didn't choose it because I was overwhelmed with fear of pain; I chose it because suffering isn't how I planned to prove myself as a mother and a woman. There seems to be a great deal of baggage wrapped up in labor as this sort of proving ground, I just found that unhealthy. On the other hand, if you or any woman chooses a drug free birth for other reasons, I say, "Rock on, my sister." I just chose to go with the drugs.

I've yammered on. Sorry. I hope some of this is helpful. Best of luck to you and wishes for a healthy, loving and peaceful birth for your baby.

Answer 2

It was worse than I thought actually! I thought the contractions weren't going to be "that bad" but they definitely were! I went in 3 times to the hospital. The first 2 times they sent me home (I was completely effaced but not dilated enough, even though my contraction were 5 minutes apart and getting more painful!) The only thing that helped a little was a really warm shower on my lower back...it helped take away some of the pain of the contractions for a while. I was in horrible pain by the time I was 28 hours into my labor (Still at home) and so I went back in the 3rd time and they admitted me into the hospital, finally!

The gave me some pain medication about 5 hours later, but it didn't help much. Then they broke my water and they got SO much worse! They gave me pitocin to speed up my labor and I got an epidural (which wore of in 10 contractions) and then I got a spinal block (which didn't work the first time so they had to do it again...ouch!) but after that, it was a breeze! The spinal block was HEAVEN and I felt nothing! I pushed for 17 mins and my baby was out! They had to give me an episiotomy (which is so painful to recover from!) and I can still barely sit and walk (I gave birth almost 2 weeks ago.) Don't get one if you don't have to!

Good luck and congrats! As soon as it's over, you will be so happy with your baby that you will forget the pain for a while :)

Answer 3

Well everyone is different but this is my story. I wanted a drug free delivery so I could have the full experience and for the well being of my baby. I'm the kind of person who once told I can't do something I do it. Well no one was supportive that I could go without an epidural so I wanted to go without even more just to prove everyone wrong. I went into labor at 9:30 at night. I went to the hospital at 1 am. I was up all night and the only thing that helped (and when I say help I mean minor) was sitting on a birthing ball. My Doc came in and broke my water at 7 30 and it only got worse from there. 9:30 I asked for nubain and the only thing it made me do was lay limp in between the contractions. Finally at 10:30 I asked for the epidural. I didn't give a crap what anyone thought anymore and believe me I felt like I had the full experience! By 11 the epidural was in and helped for a little bit but mainly in just made my legs go numb and it made me vomit. The contractions to me felt like the urge to throw up does except down lown. The only thing that helped for me was if someone held my legs up even when I wasn't pushing. I had to have an episiotomy which you don't feel because of all the other pain. Once her head was out though I was so excited that I asked to push the rest of the way without a contraction. Finally had her at 4:39 PM. 19 hours! I guess I would have to say it was much worse than I was expecting but It was worth every minute and I'm actually excited to see what my next delivery will be like. (Hopefully alot better!!) and my baby is only 7 weeks now!! So I guess it must not be that bad to want to do it all over again this soon!! You'll be fine. It's not something that will last forever and once you hold that baby you'll forget all about it, too!!

Answer 4

When I had my son 8 months ago, the labor was not what I thought that it would be. But it was a wonderful labor, and I would do it all over again just to have another child. But my labor was not all that bad. My labor started at 2 in the morning, and I had my son at 9:55 am. My labor was pretty smooth and easy going. I did have a epidural which did not hurt that much. And was so worth the wait! But I have heard and seen some pretty bad labors. But you will get through the labor when the time comes. Good luck on the up and coming labor and delivery. Just remember that you are different so there for your labor will be different from everyone else. Good luck!

Answer 5

I went into labor at 35 weeks, and they decided to let me progress - the L&D nurse told me to stay home until contractions were 3 minutes apart (they were 5 minutes apart when I called, and we were about 20 minutes from the hospital). We went in when I reached that point, and my son was born 90 minutes after we arrived. Total time in labor: about 4.5 hours.

I will say this: back labor sucks. But the delivery was relatively easy, though quick. Once I started pushing, nothing hurt anymore, honestly. And you don't really remember exactly how it feels - Mother Nature takes care of that for you.

Good luck!

Answer 6

Both my kids were born without me having epidurals,pain medication,or a c-section.We took Lamaze classes so I could deliver naturally and I did.I had some bad labor pains with my first one and I told myself that I could Never do that again.Well 4 yrs went by and I became pregnant again.You tend to forget how strong the labor pains can get,until you go into labor once again.I've heard from different women about their experience while in labor and they all told me the same.Don't be afraid,you might not even have a long labor.My sis didn't even know she was in labor until her doctor told her!She wanted to go home and maybe come back later,but her doctor told her she was crowning.LOL

Answer 7

I labored at home for over 48 hours before I went in and then it was a long labor there too!! At home I took a lot of hot showers and baths to relax my muscles. My girlfriend came over and massaged my feet and back. I went it at 3pm and had her at 5:45 the next morning-i pushed for 4 hours and only had morphine through an IV. I tore a bit but never felt it-only had 3 stitches. I was more scared to go to the bathroom after the birth then I was of the actual birth!!!

Answer 8

I was pleasantly surprised. My contractions in the beginning weren't bad at all. It was just more like constant pressure that got worse when I moved around. Granted I did get back labor because my baby was facing upwards (he was facing my front instead of my back), and that was hell, but I think if he hadn't been facing my front, the labor wouldn't have been too bad at all. I also think that getting really stressed out over it doesn't help much, so try not to. (Though I know it's hard. I did for a bit.) Just remind yourself that no matter what, your body knows what needs to be done, and it'll try to do it. It's out of your hands.

Answer 9

dont worry so much. my first pregnancy i worried non-stop about labor and delivery...and more so the epidural. I have to say I worried for nothing. I couldnt have had an easier, faster experience. I went to my doctor for a visit, was told I was already 7 cm and 100% effaced, walked over to the hospital, got my epidural (not that painful), and then had my daughter in an hour! EASY AS THAT! GOOD LUCK!

Answer 10

Its better to be at home anyways during alot of that. Its more comfortable at home. I never had an epidural or anything like that with any of my 3 boys, and I wont with this one either. I lived. Dont worry about it so much. Its all natural and things will jsut happen and it will be over before you know it. I prefer to stay home and deal with it rather than be in a hospital confined to a bed and having nurses and everyone else bother me.