how do you like my poems?

Question

"She"
She, the one you never seein the daytime
She, her arms glittering in the moonlight
She, her legs leaping in the dark, night air
She, dancing in the city jungle

heres the second one, its very different

The Breakup
i say hi
you say hi
i say why
you say bye
i say bye
and then i cry

the third one wich is sad...

You are here

you are here, even though your gone
you are here but also up above
you are here next to me
you are here saying my name
you are here saying you love me
you are here saying you care about me
i try to touch you, but all i feel is air on my trembeling fingers
but you are here
you are here


and the last...

Love

love is a big blue river that never dries out
love is white pure snow, sweet and inncocent
love is a big yellow sun shining down on you, it is fun
love is big high mountains, adrenalin pumping through your body when you look at them
love is in the home, in the head and in the heart
love is everywhere

i am 10 years old and i want to be a writer

Answer 1

They're all really great!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Keep up the good work!

Answer 2

For your age, I think these are very wonderful excellent poems!

Suggestions:
She - the one you never see in the daytime
The break-up - This is perfect
You are here - omit the comma and write "you are"
Love - yellow sun? tall mountains (not big, not high) adrenaline is some hormone secreted, it can increase the pumping of our hearts. choose another word for either adrenaline or pumping or both.

Very good beginning for a future talented artist.

Answer 3

I love them! I hope your dream comes true.