Should I try to conceive now at 18 or wait? ::EXTREME CASE, PLEASE READ!!::?

Question

I had an appt about a week ago b/c I have cists on my ovaries and endometriosis and today when my test results came back I was informed that my chances of getting pregnant would steadily decline until about the age of 25 when I will be completely infertile. I have been with my boyfriend for about a year and 1/2 now and we have always planned on getting married and starting a family (we both want 2 or 3 kids). He said he'd go with it if I was ready now but I'd like to have some more opinions....do you think it's smart to start a family at 18 if it's my only choice? Is it smart to start a family before college? Any young mothers out there, you're input would be greatly appreciated.....

Answer 1

Oh, sweetie, this is a really tough situation, and I'm sorry you're facing it. In the end, this is a decision that needs to be made by you and your boyfriend. As a new mom I can tell you that having a baby is rough, and changes a lot of things, so it really does help being mentally ready for it, but there is always help out there for new moms (support groups and such). About college, I haven't finished college yet, and I know it's going to be tough getting my degree now that I have a baby, but you can start out at a community college and go on from there, and many colleges and universities have day care at little or no cost to students. There are many programs at colleges for parents, so you'll just need to do your research. But college will always be there waiting, you'll just need to work a little harder at going. And then there's finances to think about, but if you sit down and really work at it, you can figure it out. Hopefully your family can back you up.

Again, this decision is ultimately up to you and your boyfriend, but personally, if I was in this situation, I would go for it. It's hard work, but it can all be done.

Answer 2

I am really sorry to hear about your situation.
I don't think that it is a bad idea. Sometimes it can take months to get pregnant anyway and I've always wanted a family while I was young and that's why I'm pregnant at 20. However I did graduate from college already, even still it was hard to find a job in my felid of work.
On the other hand, If the father doesn't stay with you, at least you will have a child that is with you forever. I think that you will regret it if you don't do it. But only you know if you're really ready and something like this should you do it. You should maybe give it a few months or a year to think about it before you jump into it.

Answer 3

Yours is a strange case. I am also a young mother, and my heart to yours, must tell you, that when older people tell you that raising a child is the hardest thing you'll ever do, they are barely skimming the surface. I have had to give up my entire life, my dreams, my hopes, in order to be a good mother to my boys. Was it worth it? Absolutely. Life has a way of working itself out, and I now have new-and-improved hopes and dreams. I started my family right in the middle of college, and now, several years later, get to go back and finish. Whether you should or shouldn't start your family depends on the strength of your support system, how solid you are with the father, and how willing to you are at 18 to experience a whole new level of selflessness and sacrifice that you didn't know existed. There are a lot of messed up kids around because they aren't being offered the stability and maturity that an older parent can give. You need to really examine your maturity level maybe get the opinions of some older people(besides your parents because they will be too biased) in your life that know you really well. And if you decide that it isn't right, try to understand that our lives can come together in the most fufilling, miraculous ways, and it's hard to foretell how that might work out. Maybe there will be a child in your future that needs you to adopt him, or maybe you will get a biological baby- things work out sometimes for the best!

Answer 4

No one can tell you what to do, but the idea that infertility can be exactly pinpointed is a farce. Indeed, while Endometriosis is a leading cause of infertility (I assume you have had the surgery required for a diagnosis and your doctor isn't just guessing that you have Endo?), there is absolutely no reason to assume that with proper treatment, you won't be able to get pregnant when you are financially stable and emotionally ready - on your terms. While the disease is a leading cause of infertility, with treatment, most women with Endo who want children can have them. Also, pregnancy is not a cure like some people mistakenly still believe. And consider this - it is important to have the disease effectively removed first so that you aren't suffering afterwards while trying to care for a newborn. See http://www.centerforendo.com for expert details from a specialty treatment center, and join the free groups at http://groups.yahoo.com/group/ERCGirlTalk and http://health.groups.yahoo.com/group/erc to interact with others who understand and have been there, done that. Good luck and know you're not alone.

Answer 5

It's not smart to have kids before you go to college, more than likely you'll end up not going.

However, at this point you have to make a choice, family or education? W/ your extreme situation, it would be in your best interest to start within the next couple of years, especially if you're wanting 2-3 kids.

However with cases like this you may deteriorate faster than the Dr. says, so.....

Answer 6

My advise to you is before you go trying to have a baby make sure that you are financially stable and you are married. Alot of young adults have babies because they have planned to do so with the present boyfriend and in the end they end up on welfare and alone without the father. Make sure you have a steady job and can take care your family if he decides to leave. Also even if you don't conceive now there are always other options. A lot of babies are brought into this world and can be taking care of so they are put up for adoption. Why don't you adopt one and give them a loving home as well. Good Luck

Answer 7

sweetheart, I am a God mother @ 19 (my best friend is 19 and it's her daughter) but I am practically the mother when she's out having fun and Im babysitting. And it's hard. You have you be financial stable but most of all, EMOTIONALLY ready. You got to have the time and love for the child. What about school? What about work? How is YOUR future planned because your future affects your child's future. Im going to school and working full time and it's difficult for me to keep up with my God daughter. But we're two totally different people. Personally, I would say go for it, but only if you have that support system and everything properly thought through. There isn't anything more rewarding in the world than to have a child. I live for her so if you can squeeze room in your heart and in your life schedule, then reach for the moon.

Answer 8

I guess I think that if I was told I could not have kids if I waited until 25 then I would have them now. Unless you want to adopt it may be your only chance . I had a cyst on one ovary and it gave me no trouble getting pregnant but if you are sure you want kids then in my opinion go for it. Many girls have babies at 18 mostly by accident but do well and are good Mom's Im sure you can too.

Answer 9

I say if you are ready financially and emotionally to have a child now then go for it. You might not have as much chance later on. But do weigh the options first though, can you support yourself and the child? Do you have a place that is safe and you are not going to get kicked out of? College can always be fit in with your lifestyle after a baby... even while you are pregnant you can still take classes. I wouldn't forgo college though. If you and your boyfriend are commited to this.. then go for it.

Answer 10

Well I am 20 years old. I am getting ready to have my baby in the next couple of weeks. I personally dont think so. But that is my opinion. I will be going back to college after my baby is old enough to go into day care. I would talk with your parents. As for your boyfriend, he may say now that he will be there. I have known guys to say that they will be there for the baby and the mom and up and leave after the baby is born. That happened to my neice. Now she is 20 and a single mom. The guy even bought her a promise ring while she was carrying my great nephew. So I would sit down and talk with everyone. There is always adoption to for later in life.