We have a good relationship for 7 years now. But I was surprised to hearing him saying a man and a woman can not really be a best friend because a man/woman thinks differently. Women to women/men to men can be a best friend.
I am confused. Any men understands him better?
2007-01-04 12:12:30 · 14 answers · asked by hatbrown 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I do believe that a gender of any combination can be best of friends. I am a male and have a best friend that is a female. We have known each other since grade school and we still keep in touch too this date. I am happily married! My wife and I have communicated and understands the relationship.
Husband and wife are best friends. I believe that but when you have a best friend before marriage than that is a true best friend. I do not believe best friend of opposite sex after getting married because that will result into some problems.
2007-01-04 12:25:59 · answer #1 · answered by ? 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
In today's world, there are not many things left sacred in a marriage. The vow forsaking all others means that your husband becomes your number one person in your life. The term" best friend" implies "one friend above all others". If you classify a male as a "best friend" you are placing that friend on a near husband status. A couple should have friends together and some apart but not unknown to the other spouse. I was told once that a straight guy would only be close friends with a girl that he finds attractive enough to date. I have not seen an example proving this theory wrong. I can see how he would see men thinking differently than women because women will see past physical attraction to be friends more often than men do.
2007-01-04 12:29:48 · answer #2 · answered by escapeinthepalms 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You husband is wrong, that's obvious because you don't agree with him. The real question is why?
Without more information I would say that your something in your husband's childhood (perhaps a friendship) made him feel this way, that a male and female couldn't be best friends. Perhaps he is the only boy in his family or a single child and wasn't allowed to play with girls. Another theory is that he doesn't want to replace a long time male best friend with his wife (this is a good sign of loyalty) if he has it for his male best friend, he has it for his wife. He is just looking at it differently.
So long as you have a good marriage, I would not sweat the title of being his best friend. The important thing is that if it came down to it, he'd choose you over his "best friend." But if you are a good wife and his best friend is a true friend, he should never have to choose anyway.
Now as far as men and women just being best friends. I kind of have to side with your husband. I know that there are platonic male and female best friend relationship, but I would venture to say that the only reason they remain platonic is because of the female. That is just the sad truth about being a man. I am not including homosexual men in that equation. I believe a gay man could be a best friend to a female without having to want to have sex with them, but in that case I wouldn't put it past the female to want to "convert" him or to be thinking like the male in the previous example.
2007-01-04 12:19:11 · answer #3 · answered by John P 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i'm not a man, but reading the first part of your question it sounds like he's saying men and women who are married can't have friends of the opposite sex outside of marriage. but in the second part he is merely saying that men and women don't agree on everything, which is good, because you don't want your man to be a "yes" man and he doesn't want you to be a "yes" girl. i really wouldn't stress over that to much because men have big egos.
2007-01-04 12:51:03 · answer #4 · answered by ken's princess 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have a different viewpoint on this.
Neither my husband nor I allow our friendships with people of the opposite sex to go beyond casual friendship. It's not that we think we would be unable to control ourselves or anything, we would just rather avoid the potential problem.
I've known too many couples broken apart because every time they had a problem, one of them confided in and was comforted by his/her opposite sex friend, leading to too much emotional intimacy, until he/she is confiding in this person INSTEAD of his/her spouse...At which point they question the validity of their relationship with their spouse. And then divorce. It's a long, sad, unnecessary--and all too common-- story.
Why bother risking the possibility, when you're both perfectly fine having only super-close friends of the same gender, and keeping opposite-sex friends casual?
Anyways, is it possible that this is what your husband meant?
2007-01-04 12:27:15 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well he is just wrong. Men and women can be best friends. My best friend of 13 years is of the opposite sex.
2007-01-04 12:18:03 · answer #6 · answered by Snicklefritz 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What can he do with his best friend that he cannot do with you? Go fishing? It's only his opinion and he has a right to his opinion. Are you saying you would like to be his best friend? You can be his best woman friend. And then he can have a best man friend. That would work.
2007-01-04 12:22:17 · answer #7 · answered by SIGGY 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ever seen "When Harry met Sally"?
I think there's a better explanation in that movie of why it almost can never happen - because there's always the attraction factor that alters the just friends relationship.
2007-01-04 12:26:26 · answer #8 · answered by daisyk 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
it just means that your husband is jealous... and what he meant to say when he said men and women think differently is that he knows men are weak and will want to have a sexual relationship with their friend... but not everyone is like that... it also sounds like he doesn't trust you enough to have a friend who is a male.... he is probably worried you will cheat on him.... he is insecure.... but i understand him many men are jealous of their wives.... hope this helps...
2007-01-04 12:28:34 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It means that your husband doesn't think a man can have a woman for his best friend and visa versa unless they are married to each other...He doesn't know me and my best friend. My best friend is a male, married even...I've known him for over 40 years, nothing sexual, we didn't really "date" we've just always been friends. When he met and married his wife her and I became friends and I am God mother to their eldest daughter AND HER eldest daughter. So I guess in my case you can tell your husband he is WRONG...lol
2007-01-04 14:57:01 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋