I would like to hear the experience of divorced or marired again lady or gentleman please:
One of my hobbies is to make dresses from patterns I buy. Once in a while I sew an outfit for my husband's 4 year old little lady. It is always age appropriate and I also line it with felt since we live in cold weather. The ex-wife gets very angry when the little girl comes home with one of my outfits. She takes it out on my husband and the little girl. She claims that other ex-wives don't let their kids wear anything else but the clothes the mother sends with them. The kids do come in with a little suitcase with clothes. But I love sewing and the little girl is inspiring me to find new patterns and create outfits. She loves to wear what I make and this is something she and I share as step-mom,step-daughter. Is the mother right? Is there any base for the request that the kids won't wear anything but what she sends in their suitcase?
2007-01-04 11:53:18 · 11 answers · asked by Ladybug NH 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
You sound very sweet ladybug. And good for you to be a part of the girl's life without being intrusive. The ex has issues. But why rock the boat? Let her wear the dresses you make when she is with you, if she wants to. But send her home in the clothes her mother bought. Shame on the ex though...she should realize how lucky she is her ex married someone who will be that nice to her daughter. You could be the evil step-mom. Truth is it would easier for her to dislike you if you were.
2007-01-04 11:59:53 · answer #1 · answered by sammiejane67 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well, the mother is obviously immature and jealous. She should be happy that you are nice and good to her daughter--but instead she is jealous..Oh well, the bottom line is that when you marry a man with kids, these are the petty little annoying things that you'll have to deal with until the child become an adult. Therefore, only allow the child to wear the clothes you make while she is at your home. Tell her to leave them at your home, and they will be waiting until she gets back.
Dont feed the fire, dont argue, just keep the clothes and move on. Unfortunataly, she is the typical defintion of a "BabyMomma" so dont do anything that will create "BabyMomma Drama"
2007-01-04 12:11:29 · answer #2 · answered by Victory 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like the ex is just jealous that her daughter is being treated well. I had a similiar problem - but what I did was keep the clothes at our house so the kids could wear the clothes when they were there. It made them feel special and it kept "peace". Plus - how can she tell their dad (and you) what they can wear when they are with HIM?? Good luck!!
2007-01-04 16:13:33 · answer #3 · answered by jst_lv_me_alone 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, mom is just being petty. I watch this same thing happen in family. I think it's great that you enjoy "sharing" with his daughter, that's special and makes you special as well. Kudos! While the kids are at your home they should be able to wear whatever is provided as long as it is "decent." If you are worried that the mom is making it hard for the girl, then consider keeping a wardrobe at your home for her visits. (that's how my family seems to be working it out best)
Best of luck to you and enjoy your creations!
2007-01-04 11:58:55 · answer #4 · answered by Deana G 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yes, hers. She's jealous, and you need to do as she ask to keep your husband from dealing with her more than needed. Just dress the little girl in the clothes you make while she's with you at your home and send her back with the clothes provided.
2007-01-04 12:01:25 · answer #5 · answered by msthinkpositive 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Unfortunately there is no basis but the little angle is too young to find out how ugly adults can be. Don't put her in the tug of war, you have to be the one to let go of the rope. Just let her wear them when she is with you and maybe she can take one home instead of wearing it. Life is too short and kids grow up fast.
2007-01-04 12:23:43 · answer #6 · answered by TRT 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Since SHE is their mother her wishes should be adhered to. So I suggest that anything you make for the kids remain in YOUR home. Do NOT send them home with the children. The mother has a right to decide what clothes her children wear to and at HER home. Becuase they are HER children.
2007-01-04 15:29:51 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
NO, the mother is not right! she should be glad that you are spending time and taking the time to make her daughter dresses. the remark about she should wear what's in the suitcase is just silly. sounds like she has jealousy issues.
2007-01-04 11:56:34 · answer #8 · answered by S 5 · 3⤊ 0⤋
If it's going to cause a conflict, I would just let her wear the clothes you make her while she is at your house. Just don't send anymore home with her. Good luck!
2007-01-04 11:57:24 · answer #9 · answered by KB 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
the way it sounds to me is that she is jealous of you. she needs to take a step back and let you and the step daughter bond. she needs to understand that, it is very important to make a bond with step kids. I know for a fact. it is wrong what the ex wife is doing. keep doing what you are doing, and if it bothers you that bad i would say something to your hubby or talk to her.
2007-01-04 11:58:02 · answer #10 · answered by fruitloop247 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋