I'M THE ONE THAT HAVING A BABY!!!!I I'm having a baby not his mother why do i have to worry about her feelings

Question

I'm the oldest of six...my b/f is an only child.....my family has traditions that they are willing to set aside just so not to cause conflict his mother wants every thing her way and want all her advice taken.....i respect her opinion but he and i are going to raise our baby our way....she doesnt seem to get that......she wants to be in the delivery room and i wouldnt have a problem with this but i can only have 2ppl in there....(my b/f and 1 oher person)...it is a family tradition that the mother of the woman giving birth is in the room....if i let his mom in my mom cant come in.....his mom said that if she cant come in then my mom shouldnt be in there either.... i dont want to hurt his mother feeling but i really want and need my mother in the delivery room....i'm my mother first born and i want he to b there when i give birth to my little girl......her mother was ther when i was born....my great granmother was there when she was born.....i dont want to break tradition...what 2 do

Answer 1

Ok, lets talk, coming from me a person who is married to a person from a VERY different culture then mine. The best advice I can give you is pick your battles! When my girls were born in about 45 minutes their ears were pierced, my Mom about died. But I was not going to argue with my MIL about that. Then my MIL threw a fit that I had my kids sleep on their backs, (and with all the research with SIDS this is the best way for a baby to sleep, and my sister lost a baby to SIDS, so my kids are sleeping on their backs, no questions!) In his culture babies sleep on their bellies, I fought tooth and nail on this one and she finally realized I was not backing down. So my point is that you have to do what you want, plus do you really want your b/f's Mom seeing all your goods, no thank you!!!!! You need to worry about making your Mom happy plus she will be there no matter what, your b/f's Mom not so much! Good luck and maybe you will be like me, I had all c-sections so I did not have to worry about my MIL seeing anything I did not want her to see!!!

Answer 2

You smile and do what you want in the end. You are the one giving birth if you want your mom and not his do that. I don't know why people think deliveries ought to be a whole show where everyone and their brother needs to come. It's all about having the woman giving birth be as comfortable as possible. It's true that she is becoming a grandmother as well but she can wait in the waiting room and come see the baby after she's born. There's no reason why she has to be in the delivery room if that would make you uncomfortable. All the best.

Answer 3

Oh my dear, I do not know how you can put up with a mother-in-law like that. You must be a strong person. A caring person, because I would put my foot down from the get the start. Look it doesn't matter what your crazy mother in law thinks or says. Having a baby is a very private personal intimate time that you should be the one to decide what goes on in the room not her! I personally would not have anyone but my hubby in my room. Just so you know you should nip it in the butt now because after the baby comes it is only going to get worse. Just kindly say with your husband so you are there together that you will take her advise in consideration but will ultimately make your own choice in the matter or any matter. Also that she had her children and raised them now it is your turn. So back off! :) Good luck to you!

Answer 4

You should politely tell your b/f's mother that it is a tradition in your family to have the mother of the person giving birth in the room. Maybe you can make a compromise: tell you're b/f's mother that in the case of you having another child, she will be in the delivery room. If that doesn't work, tell her to get over it. You're the one giving birth, so it's your decision.

Answer 5

That is a tough question to answer...My mother in law was like that when my husband (the only boy of 3 kids) and I first got married. After I told my husband how I felt about his mother always butting into our lives and telling us how to live them he said something. Granted...it took A LOT of talking to my husband. But if your boyfriend really loves you, he will respect your decision to have only him and your mother in the delivery room. It's a great experience for your mom to see her grandchild be born and a daughter needs her mother in the delivery room. I think that you just need to sit down with your boyfriends mom and your boyfriend and tell them how you feel. Like I said before, if they are really out for your best interest, they will respect your decisions!

Answer 6

You need a break! You don't need to be worrying about this. You are the one who's having the baby, you make the rules. If your boyfriends mom gets insulted, so what?

She seems very controlling and the sooner you tell her off, the sooner she'll realize that this is your life, not hers. Sounds cruel, but she needs to respect your space and if you don't do it now, can you imagine what it'll be like when she comes over and tells you how to raise your child? Be nice but firm!

Good luck and congratulations on your baby!

Answer 7

short answer? SCREW HER. You're right; you are the one having the baby, and she really doesn't matter. You have EVERY right to have your own mother there with you. Please take my advice and DO NOT compromise on this, because this woman needs a limit set now, or she'll think she can get whatever she wants just by throwing a hissy fit. Your body, your baby, YOUR decision.

Answer 8

You do what *you* need to during the delivery. If that means having your mother there, then that's what goes. This is your time to focus *completely* on yourself. Your boyfriend's mom *doesn't* have a say. She doesn't like it, that's just tough. It's *your* pregnancy, *your* labor, and *your* baby, not hers.

Answer 9

honey, do not worry what HIS mother has to say it is your baby not hers. its up to you who is/is not in the delivery room with you. if she doesn't get that you will be raising this child your way then ole grandma will not allowed to even see that child until she does. sounds like ole grandma maybe full german. been there done that! most of all its your decision no one elses.

Answer 10

First ~ please get married. Second, like that your being respectful....but don't let her cross the line. If you don't want any more confrontations about the delivery room, just let the staff know and they will keep her away........Thirdly, maybe you should stand up to her now, cause if she keeps this up and you don't stand up it will go on forever!