my daughter is a gothic. How can i get her to be normal. please help.
2007-01-04 11:37:56 · 14 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
For a start you need to try to understand that as a teenager (I'm assuming this as you don't state it), she's looking for an outlet to find her identity. This HAS to be something you disapprove of, simply because she feels as though she doesn't know who she is because you have defined her up to this point in her life. The teenage 'rebellion' stage is simply a fad whereby an effort is made to break away from what they've been 'told' to do, and find out what it is that they want for themselves.
So having told you this, I hope you can appreciate that the more you complain and make efforts to stop her, the more she will see 'gothic' as the means by which she will break out of the mold made for her by her parents - in this case yourself.
The best course of action for you to take is really to stop pestering her and accept what it is that she wants to do. It's not going to last more than a couple of years - fashions are very fickle things, and the more she sees you as taking no interest, the less insistent she'll be with it.
I hope this helps
2007-01-04 11:47:00 · answer #1 · answered by prusec_int 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
How old is your daughter? Who is the mother and who is the child? Who makes the rules in your house, you or your daughter? Do you fear how your daughter may react to your standards? Who pays for those clothe? And if she do then put your foot down still and tell her that there will be no more buying clothes that looks Gothic, no more hanging out until she finds a new group of friends and if the problem continues then she will have to go and get some sort of help. If she is violent then stand your ground, strength and show no fear. Call 911 if you have to because if you don't then someone else will. How did she get that far anyway? Do you see what she wears out the house? I would say burn those clothes and don't allow anymore to come into your house. You will have to put your foot down. There is no time to be a friend to her right now but A PARENT! Do it as soon as possible and seek other help or else it can get worse.
2007-01-04 11:52:30 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
Not much you can do now, I assume she's an older teen or so. Gotta fix that stuff when they're 4-5-6-7-8. I don't accept the answers that going gothic is "normal." It's pretty much the antithesis of normal.
Edit: I do agree with answer directly above mine, if you are actually willing, but it WILL take that kind of radical approach if you truly want to fix it.
2007-01-04 11:55:35 · answer #3 · answered by The Scorpion 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Well I don't really think it is a problem first of all. I am not a Gothic but i know many people who listen to hard core rock and wear all black and they are the nicest people you'll ever meet. They are not all devil worshipers. Give your daughter a chance and just be attentive to where she is and meet her friends so she doesn't get into trouble, but my best advice is to let her wear what she wants and listen to the kind of music she wants. It's part of her individuality. If you keep insisting her to change she'll resent it and distant herself from you.
2007-01-04 11:51:43 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Our daughter was goth for a while. She was fine. She out grew it in about a year and went on to other fads. Don't worry. Even if she stays goth longer, she is still your little girl. Can't you see how beautiful she is becoming? As long as she isn't doing drugs and crap how can you possibly have a problem with what she wears? She is still your little girl! Love her and treat her with respect. What if she was dressing like a cheerleader/ whore? I think that you might not like that, either. Chill, love your daughter for who she is, not what makeup and clothes she is wearing. And don't be ashamed of her in front of other people, either. That won't help the situation.
2007-01-04 11:50:28 · answer #5 · answered by HDGranny 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
normall what is that today. fads come and fads go. how can you get her out of gothic, find something she really likes and do it with her get her away from the gothic scene one the sly. find something that makes her feel good about herself show her the light beutifull side of herself. maybe next year punk will be back in, youll be dealing with color instead of black. just make sure she knows and feels that you love her for her
2007-01-04 11:49:05 · answer #6 · answered by jhdjkhblpk;mvhyf nbjhghbmnbjgb 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
like everyone else has said it is more than likely a fad. I went through alot of fads when i was younger, you name it i did it. give her time and let her be herself. don't try to make her hang with different friends, are they really hurting her that bad that makes you want her to hang with other people, as long as the drug use and that other bull is not invovled just let her know you are there to talk to her.
2007-01-04 11:43:56 · answer #7 · answered by fruitloop247 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Don't pressure her it will only make it worse, let her do her on thing, she will grow out of it. What is normal. Like every one else, She is her own person. If you push her she will fight you and maybe hate you, Do you want that....... Let her find her own way, be there to catch her if she falls. You love her no matter what she wants to be.
2007-01-04 11:47:22 · answer #8 · answered by carpathian3030 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
What r u talking about? she is normal, Maybe u should b more accepting of who your daughter is and not what u want her to b
2007-01-04 11:41:19 · answer #9 · answered by Chesty 1 · 1⤊ 1⤋
most of the time, thses are just fads.. we had fads too.. we outgrow them... I am sure she will too.. just dont push her away in the meantime.. talk to her, let her know tha she is loved
2007-01-04 11:40:23 · answer #10 · answered by road runner 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋