Don't get me wrong I know my husband love's me soooo much.... But he has been talking to me about us being with other people. We have been together for 6 years. He said he love's me he just want to try some thing new. We have done all the Sex thing that there is to do. But i think that he might just need more. He is also one of those guys who has to have the net and the porn. He does it when I am not home and only then is on here. Is this way crazy and should we do it and see what happens? I know that we have tryed so many things but this one really does scare me....
2007-01-04 11:22:47 · 31 answers · asked by crazyone 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Tell him it scares you. I would never agree to that. What are the odds that you are going to be able to trust him and respect him and continue to feel like he loves you if you guys go through with this?
2007-01-04 11:25:07 · answer #1 · answered by Aloe-ish-us 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If your husband loves you he wouldn't ask you to do something like that. A marriage is a union between two people that includes the sex. A man who really loves you wouldn't even mention this kinda of thing to you. I would talk to him an explain how you feel try sex toys I have found they can be fun for both partners and there or other things out there besides sharing your husband with someone else. If he doesn't respect that then he doesn't deserve you. Oh an the net pron when your not home is just wrong. Hope everything works out and that I have been somewhat of a help.
2007-01-04 19:28:39 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you are truly uncomfortable with it, tell him and don't do it. He should respect your feelings and shouldn't want to push you. Seems like you've done a lot to please him already. Entering the swingers environment is good for some and ruins relationships for others. You should only agree to it if YOU want to try it.
You mentioned that your husband looks at a lot of porn. I have heard that guys that are addicted to porn tend to push the sexual envelop further and further. So understand if you do this...it may not be the end of it. It could be something even more drastic.
Evaluate it and see how you feel. Then just talk openly about it. If he loves you, he will understand you're not comfortable with it and will leave it alone.
2007-01-04 19:30:45 · answer #3 · answered by You Don't Know Me! 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't do it unless you are 100% comfortable with it. Swinging, or an open marriage is something that two people must be very very secure with before going forward with. Talk about all the possible issues that could come up. Make sure you know exactly why he wants to have an open marriage- is it to try things WITH you, or is so he can go and do things WITHOUT you? There's a big difference between the two- one is enhancing what you have, and the other is enhancing what he has.
Do be happy he has brought up this issue with you instead of heading out on his own to have an affair. This shows an honorable person and as long as what he is thinking involves you, it does show he simply wants to experience more with you.
Go to your local adult sex store- there are DVDs you can buy that talk about swinging and have interviews with doctors as well as couples that do this and all the different things to look out for. Surf the internet and read the sites about swinging and open marriage and make sure you understand the differences between the two and exactly what your husband is asking for. Establish rules about how things will be handled if you choose to go ahead with the situation (who? where? when?). Knowledge is power- get all you can.
Good luck and I hope it all turns out to benefit your relationship.
2007-01-04 19:32:16 · answer #4 · answered by Peace 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Studies have shown that men who indulge in porn on a regular basis can begin to have problems sexually with their partners. Even though men know that these women are a) acting, b) airbrushed and c) getting paid, they still have subconcious problems dealing with imperfect 'real' women. If your husband cools off on the porn for a while and you two abstain for a while, the fire will come back. Sleeping with other people is not the solution. If he truly loves you, he won't pursue this, assuming he knows that you aren't happy with the idea.
2007-01-04 19:29:23 · answer #5 · answered by bizou_bear 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
As it should, because what happens if he falls for the party who's helping to heighten his sexual desires. This tend to happen more often than people expect when they venture into open relationships. If you wanted to be free then don't get married. There's no where in the Bible about more than one wife or husband to an individual. So, let him know about your thoughts on the matter instead of just jumping into it. Hopefully, the pron will be enough to keep him from trying it alone.
2007-01-04 19:27:55 · answer #6 · answered by msthinkpositive 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Are you bullet proof? Are you fire proof?
If you and your husband take this route then your marriage will be over, guaranteed.
I'm not so sure that it ALREADY IS. You are just being led on and are just a warm body for him. I'm sorry. This guy is really messed up, WAKE UP!
If he truly does LLLOOOVVVEEE you soooo much, then why does he need anyone or anything else???? Wake up my darlin'.
I sense a nuclear relationship explosion coming near you soon....
2007-01-04 19:31:40 · answer #7 · answered by HowFuzzyWuzee 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yeah this one can bust you up... But if he's asking for it, it may be already too late, refuse him, and you know he's gonna do it behind your back....
Basically for many reasons he is not fulfilled sexually... even posing the question is a strong sign that this is in serious trouble.. You got two choices..
1) sleep with other people
2) Cut this one to the heart of the issue and resolve it very fast and with absolute precision..
Otherwise I fear for the relationship.
Good luck.
2007-01-04 19:27:05 · answer #8 · answered by Champ 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That kind of thing never makes a relationship better but if you both and I mean both have your hearts set on a threesome get a hooker, it's business, if you bang a friend it gets too messy, the emotional part I mean...if you don't want to do this don't, if you feel bad about it now, think about how you will feel after you do it
2007-01-04 19:26:08 · answer #9 · answered by Cat 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
NO
that is a train wreck
If you are not in 100% agreement with the idea
what are you going to do when one of these woman starts to enjoy him more than he enjoys them...or worse, what if he likes having sex with one of them more than you.
I think that this is a mess.
I also think that if you propose to have sex with another man, you can see just how serious HE is
2007-01-04 19:28:35 · answer #10 · answered by xxxxxxx b 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋