Do you think he could be gay?

Question

When I talk to my husband of 7 years about the lack of passion in our relationship, he doesn't admit and doesn't want to talk about it. We have never had passion. Wasn't experienced enough to know better when I got married either. When I tell my husband I'm not sexually fulfilled, he gets mad or doesn't want to talk about it or denies there is a problem. What do you think the problem is? and no I'm not bad in bed and yes his "thingy" works fine cause we have had sex..just not loving passionate sex...yes there is such a thing.

Answer 1

Well unfortunately he does not sound very open. A man who truly loves a woman would want her to be satisfied and would want to know if she is not. A satisfied woman will return it ten fold. If he knew that, he would be giving you what you need. I would suggest buying books and/or videos that offer suggestion in how to spice things up. Even better a marriage/sex counselor. But I don't know that he would go for that, since it seems of no concern. I am really sorry to hear that. Maybe work on your approach prior to sex, and also your approach in telling him what you need. A glass or two of red wine can really warm things up too. It's a nice buzz, but doesn't diminish from the act. Good Luck. I hope you can push the right button!

Answer 2

I don't think he's gay; it just sounds like he's not a very "passionate" person. I can understand where he's coming from when he gets upset with you bringing it up: he's always been this way, it is a part of who he is, a part of his personality; he must have assumed that you have accepted him as he was when you married him - but now you are essentially saying "I don't like this fundamental part of who you are, and I want you to change it". It does make people feel angry and insecure when they are confronted with the fact that they can't be who they are around their partner; they have to change into something different (or pretend to change) in order to make their partner happy. It's not an easy thing to face.

There could be a medical issue underlying this problem - depression or low testosterone levels could be some of the possibilities. Perhaps you two could discuss it with a medical professional. But it is also possible that this is just the way he is - that the raw passion is not the way he is comfortable expressing himself - and you just have to respect that, and find satisfaction in other (positive) aspects of your relationship. My husband is not at all a "passionate" person when it comes to relationships; we simply have never been passionately "in love" with each other - our relationship grew out of compatibility, trust, and enjoying each other's company. I had had very "passionate" and intense relationships in the past; these were very gratifying experiences - but I certainly didn't plan on spending the rest of my life in one of these states. I will take compatibility over passion any day - but then of course this is precisely because I have experienced both, and knew what I was "giving up" by choosing a relationship that was compatible but not passionate. My perspective might have been different if I felt I was "missing out" on something I'd never experienced. It is possible to lack a certain aspect in a relationship (in this case, passion), and still feel fulfilled - but you are obviously not fulfilled in your marriage. Perhaps some counseling would help you two to see eye to eye? Good luck.

Answer 3

ok girl this is a tough one1 ive been with my hubby since i was 12 married at 18 im now 34 5 kids well thats my story on to your q? is work a issue being too tired after awhile if you dont add spice to your life and try new things it will get boring,try setting up the mood when he comes in the work have dinner made , and a candlelight bubble bath going and even join in in it, get the rub down going! start the little kisses all over and take your mind back in time when yall first met each other , what really made you lust for him! work it girl hope it helps, good luck and stella will get her groove back! lol alittle humor

Answer 4

You need to simply talk calmly with him about this, not attack him on it. Guys are very sensitive with this. Guys also don't like to know when they are failing at something. It makes them feel incompetent and like they are not doing their job. What is "fulfilled" to you? Isn't having sex with your husband good enough when you two are connecting and bonding? I think you're being extremely selfish since you aren't having an orgasm at all or it's just not good enough. I don't blame your husband for not wanting to talk to you about this since this is completely selfish. Is an orgasm the only reason you have sex?!? If it is, then what's the point of having sex? Quit being so self centered.

Answer 5

It would'nt be the first time a gay guy got married to get his family off his back.But lets not jump to conclusions we are all different may be he is just not that outgoing . Or he is shy.He could be depressed also.if he wants sex only once a month or so chances are he is gay

Answer 6

I'm not sure dear. It could be other things too. Maybe he was molested as a child? Maybe he is too afraid to tell you what he wants? Perhaps you should see a sex therapist...they can be a big help. Sorry I didnt have a better answer!

Answer 7

no i dont think he is gay cause he would have to pretend to be interested in having sex with you. you just lack passion especially if you never had passion with your husband and thats not good♠

Answer 8

Does he like men? Do you trust him? In order for a healthy relationship to work you need to have trust and without that its just an insecure lifestyle....If you need to just ask him....say it as a joke and see how he reacts?

Ask him if he would rather have a 3-some with you and another woman or you and another man? That may give you a hint......

Hope that helps :)

Answer 9

It's very possible if he's always been this way, because typically men want to have sex and when they don't, something is wrong. Believe me. I had a friend that dated a gay guy, and he was exactly how you describe in your question, later he admitted it to her.

Answer 10

He's probably not gay. Just because he doens't want to have sex with you doesn't make him gay.

It might mean he could benefit from a trip to a urologist, or the two of you could benefit from a family therapist.