What do you do when your friend's wife CLEARLY wants you?

Question

My friends wife clearly wants me. No argument. I do not want her as she is my friend's wife and I have morals. I am, as a, result completely unattracted to her. She is a good looking woman. I know my friend knows how she feels about me and I can't stand it. I have told both of them that it's inappropriate and I am sick of it. She just plays it off like she has no idea what I'm talking about and he gets upset which is rightfully so. I am nice to her(as she is my friend's wife and a good person otherwise) and I do not want to hurt her. How do I do it? She is depressed and I know that my friendship means a lot to her. She doesn't have many friends being that she just moved here. I believe that I may just be making things worse simply being her friend.

Answer 1

CLEARLY remove yourself from this couple. Tell the guy you value his friendship and to give you a call when he wants to hang out without her. She does not value herself, her husband, or you. This is not her giving you a compliment by wanting you, she is slapping her husband in his face by pursuing his friend. You are the weapon she is using to hurt her husband.

Answer 2

The fact of why she is doing this is more the issue here. She clearly is lacking some affections or has some emotional problem in this relationship with her husband that she gets from you. An example of this (maybe not a great one but you get the point), maybe your friend doesn't compliment her enough or listen to her opinions like a FRIEND would do, maybe he seems uninterested in her mind at all (you know what I mean). She is looking elsewhere for these affections and emotions and this is never a good sign. What you do is fill the gap for this in some way. What it means is she lacks confidence in herself and is looking for someone to make her feel better about herself in the way her husband doesn't want to or cannot. I know; I used to flirt all the time just to get that need ego boost that my hubby never gave me. I just wanted him to say once in awhile; I think you look beautiful still. He does now but he never used to. The solution would be to perhaps try to encourage your friend to be more attentive to his wife needs. But clearly you should try to avoid her until thier relationship is fixed. Its not really you its them. I admire you for not jumping into relations with your friend's wife, this is never never a good idea; it always leads to distructive relations with everyone involved expecially the children if there are any. People should always follow the rule if you gotta find a new mate get a clean slate.

Answer 3

I know that you want to be a nice guy here, but I encourage you to get away from her as fast as possible. Call her flat out tell her your not interested & will never be interested in her & that you don't want to be her friend anymore because of her inappropriate behavior. Let your friend know that you prefer to spend time with just him for right now. The sad thing is a woman like this will just go out & find someone who is willing to take her up on her offer. Best of luck with that. What an awful situation, I feel real bad for your friend.

Answer 4

Good for you, man! You have to make sure you're being very clear about your not wanting to explore any relationship outside the boundries of your friendship and to please respect your wishes. You might also want to see to it that your friend is in the room too, since this, understandably, upsets him. Apparently there are marital issues with these people. You can offer sympathy and support. Just don't push. They have to be willing to openly embrace any solution to their problems, wherever they happen to turn up.

Answer 5

You are a rare breed when it comes to confronting the friend & his gf. It's good that you could do this but you shouldn't feel bad about her not having friends or whatever because that's her call to socialize with others who won't affect your friendship with her husband. So, keep things in order so there won't be any misunderstanding on your behalf.

Answer 6

Get out of there pal. Woman like this can cause the world to end. Tell your friend that she is depressed if he doesnt know it so that he can help her. Suggest God to help them out, but DONT get involved. If you try to help her it will just make it worse for her, seeing that she will respond to the fact that you take leadership in the situation, and not her own husband. Good luck, let me know how it goes.

Answer 7

Dude! What did you do to get her interested in you? It must have come from something so don't be so quick to dismiss what you may have started.
I wouldn't worry about it so much especially because who has time to bother. If you are bothered by it, just ignore her and don't be her friend. P.S. Lighten up!
It appears that you are wishful thinking. If your EGO wasn't as large as your brain, I 'd say you " THINK" she is interested in you.
It's like when Mac goes into a store and says, " Oh yeah! I need that."

Answer 8

Just get over it. It's no big deal. She just isn't happy in her own relationship. Just come right out and tell her to stop flirting with you. Stay her friend. Your not making things worse. Something else is bothering her and it has nothing to do with you.

Answer 9

I agree that it makes things worse for her that she can have your friendship but not "have" you. Maybe you should just stay away from her all together, and maybe her husband too. What a strange situation to be in. Sorry and good luck.

Answer 10

you are a good guy, and a good friend. steer clear of her and if she won't accept it as such, leave her alone and only deal with your other friend, her husband when she is excluded from company.

i took the chance.....and dabbled where i should not have.....and it is so much stress and turmoil going on now because of it.
you are a good person. a smart one. don't let any possible future temptation steer you into a pitfall, keep standing your ground