We have been married 11 years and have always had an active sex life and awesome sex. The last 6 months we have had some issues/disagreements over some pretty large areas finances, etc. Now he seems to have lost interest in sex. He says it is because of the stress in our relationship. He is still affectionate and says he loves me but NO sex, I mean in several months. Can stress cause this to happen to a guy if he is still attracted to a girl or should I assume he's without a doubt having an affair?
P.S.He is an extremely HOT guy and in his job he has access to many women. Opinions please!
2007-01-04 10:53:30 · 19 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I know that the last person I was with, when we argued I didn't want to do anything either. Stress can cause a person to loose interest in a lot of different things. If he's had a history of cheating or you catch him looking at other women more than he should then maybe there might be something going on. Of course you don't want to assume because that's the worst! Talk to him about it, indirectly, to see what you can find out. It just depends on what kind of person he is. You can also try to work out your diffrences, things that make you guys argue and see if he continues to not want to have sex. If he doesn't when things are good then maybe start to get a little cautious. Ask him straight out why he doesn't want to have sex and if it has to do with anyone else. Don't tell him you think he's cheating or make him think you're assuming that because that will further upset him. Be respectful to him, and let him know you care about the relationship and you want to make sure it doesn't fall apart. If he wants that as well, he will tell you whats going on and tell you what the whole deal is. Otherwise, then you would know what you'd have to do, as much as you probably don't want to! Good luck and I hope all turns out for the better. Just remember, whatever happens, that's how it's meant to be and just try to accept it. Something good comes out of everything bad!
2007-01-04 11:00:12 · answer #1 · answered by Steve S 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There could be several reasons for him not wanting to have sex with you. My example may give you some insight as to things to look out for:
For the first 7 years, our sex life was awesome too. We did lots of fun things together in and out of the bedroom and had a blast outside of the financial issues. Two years ago, though, we had some really heated arguments about some everday things that had nothing to do with infidelity or anything like that. She'd curse me out in front of our kids and make derogatory comments about my family etc. to win an argument. She never listens to me anyway when it's something she doesn't want to hear or discuss. She would also physically attack me and destroy the house sometimes.
Even though my wife was still very much physically attractive at the time, I haven't desired physical intimacy or sex with her ever since. She's since gone from being really tone and physically fit to just the opposite. Now, even though I still love her, I don't even find her physically attractive.
Like your husband, I encounter many attractive, flirtatious women on a daily basis and can't say that the temptation is not there. I haven't left because of the children and because we are financially co-dependent, for now. I love her, but I cannot stand to be around her anymore. Fortunately for me, she works nights. I go through the motions sometimes just to avoid confrontations that will distract my attention and energy from work.
My point is this: yes, stress can cause lost interest in sex. It's not really lost, just put on the back burner while a man's brain power is being sucked up trying to solve difficult problems-at least in my experience. Also, is it possible that in the course of the "issues/disagreements" that he found something you said or did (intentionally or not) to be particularly offensive? Finally, an affair is possible, although, I wouldn't jump to conclusions without evidence.
Good luck, at any rate, and you may consider counseling if he will agree to it. I'm considering it myself.
2007-01-04 11:25:32 · answer #2 · answered by Leroy 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Stress in one`s life if awfulized or generalized can lead to not wanting of sex. It is a type of self defeating mechanism... he feels that it can`t be good with you if you guys have all these probs...it is not rational but it really has nothing to do with being in love... it is about emotional distancing... which is why people think their spouse is having an affair... also not logical unless you have a lot more info than he works with other women... thing is you can`t stay that way...so you need to have a real heart to heart...
2007-01-04 13:13:05 · answer #3 · answered by Therapist King 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It depends if he likes you for the long haul or not. If he was only interested in sex in the first place, then he may lose internet. But if he wants a real relationship with you that is based on more than just the bedroom..then he won't lose interest just because you had sex with im. You should know the answer to this because you should have learned what he wants before having sex with him.
2016-03-29 08:03:18 · answer #4 · answered by Christa 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you say you've had issues/disagreements over some pretty large areas, but only say "finances". What other areas? And when you say disagreements, what is your role in them? How do they come about and what is the issue?
I could just say, yeah, he's having an affair, but you didn't really give enough information to determine what the deal is.
2007-01-04 11:07:57 · answer #5 · answered by grrandram 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Guys don't need to be hot to have an affair. Anyway, he probably is and is using the "stress" as a coverup. Sometimes, guys will pick fights about other things so they can blame their distance or disinterest in you on other things, when in realityhe is having an affair.
Sorry i know i'm not a guy but this exact same thing happened to my best friend with her husband.
2007-01-04 10:59:10 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Okay, first paint the bedroom purple. Get some candles. Got a negligee? Or go topless. Female masturbation in front of a man usually works if all else fails. Send him a porno card. I regret to inform you mame, but it sounds like you lost all passion for life, ya best get it back. Women have a right to orgasim, what do you think makes the world spin. Best demand it.
2007-01-04 11:04:30 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
stress can create issues in men so they cannot perform as often. perhaps there are things related to the financial situation that detracts from his urges. an affair is possible but i think more than likely something is troubling him.
2007-01-04 10:58:41 · answer #8 · answered by sinned 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
well he loves you
and mid marriages does stop men from having sex cause of stress
but you gotta pay alot of attention to his work cause it might just be the reason that he is doing another women and too tired to make like to you at night
so you gotta ask him about it
but dont get him mad cause if he isnt then he would
so watch what you say too
2007-01-04 11:16:06 · answer #9 · answered by MightyHyphy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
try seducing him. make him realize what hes missing.
you should NEVER assume that someones having an affair unless your know its a fact. i don't think he'd cheat on you after 11 years, but maybe hes bored. do something different and crazy. but don't try to push him. make him come to you.
2007-01-04 11:05:43 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋