I refuse to lend any of my belongings out to anyone because I know better, but I have gotten into it with my hubby a few times because he lends stuff out like crazy. Its just cds or games and they ARE his (he never lends out my stuff) but still, when I want to listen to some of the cds, they're gone! Then he tells me his friend borrowed it and broke it so he's gonna get money from the guy but he never did. Another time a friend borrowed a cd for weeks then the guy was moving so he packed it away with his stuff and when my hubby went to get the cd the guy was like," I'll have to look for it, I dont know what box its in." This guy has had the cd for months now. My hubby has lost quite a few things because he trusts people with his stuff. I told him he's not allowed to lend things out anymore so he was a little bummed out. I don't think I'm being unreasonable on this one, I'm tired of seeing him lose things to careless people.
2007-01-04 10:24:30 · 22 answers · asked by annette 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I admit, it was pretty bossy of me to tell him what he can and can't do. I have considered buying my own copies of certain cds but he would think its silly and wouldn't allow it since he controls the money.
2007-01-05 06:11:07 · update #1
I admit, it was pretty bossy of me to tell him what he can and can't do. I have considered buying my own copies of certain cds but he would think its silly and wouldn't allow it since he controls the money.
2007-01-05 06:11:25 · update #2
Speaking as a husband, I can tell you this right now--your heart is in the right place, but you are not handling this situation correctly. No husband appreciates it when his wife tells him that she will not "allow" him to do something. If you explained to him why you feel the way that you do and asked him not to lend things out, you might accomplish a lot more.
2007-01-04 10:29:20 · answer #1 · answered by earthling 2 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Yeah You are being unreasonable.
He must be getting something out of the behavior that is more positive to him that the negatives of losing the property. And if that is the case and he is not lending your stuff, you should ease up and let him lend things..
2007-01-04 18:35:01 · answer #2 · answered by Champ 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Coming from another woman... you are being very unreasonable. You can't tell your husband what to do because basically he's going to do what he wants. I can understand your concern for him lending his things out to people and them breaking it and being careless with it, but bottom line... THOSE ARE HIS BELONGINGS. If you want the CD, go buy your own copy, since you don't lend out your things you have nothing to worry about.
2007-01-04 18:31:43 · answer #3 · answered by Mommy-To-Be 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I never loan a cd or book... instead I give it to the person. I don't expect to get it back. In the same vein, my friends feel the same way about me. It's not like I'm loaning out the queen's jewels or anything really sentimental. It's CD!!!! Get over it. btw- what right do you have to tell him what he can and cannot do with his stuff? Your his wife and partner, not his owner or mother!!!!
2007-01-04 18:35:05 · answer #4 · answered by married2004 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are absolutely right, since it seems that you don't' get your things back, and it costs you money to replace them. So yes. lay down the law and tell him that money does not grow on trees for you to purchase certain things twice because they were not returned, Tell him that if people were responsible then, fine, no problem, but experience shows that when things get borrowed they disappear into the twilight zone, just like those missing socks from the dryer.
2007-01-04 18:31:41 · answer #5 · answered by artist-oranit.com. 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I think you are being unreasonable in your expectations that your husband should be just like you. He is his own person and should be allowed as an adult (not a child) to choose whether or not he allows a friend or coworker to borrow his things.
2007-01-04 18:32:46 · answer #6 · answered by just_loni 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
As long as he'd not loaning out your things, let it be. He has no right to say anything negative about items not being returned to him. If he does, tell him some people never learn.
2007-01-04 18:38:58 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
he's an adult, you can't tell him he can't lend out his own things!! if he were lending your thing's you could be mad but as is leave him alone. if he can't take care of his own things then it's his loss and if he cant learn oh well, he's your husband not your child.
2007-01-04 18:29:57 · answer #8 · answered by onyx maiden 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
No. Your not unreasonable. You two should have all separate stuff, though. Or maybe two copies of everything...one for good and one to lend out.
2007-01-04 18:29:57 · answer #9 · answered by null_the_living_darkness 7 · 0⤊ 3⤋
A little controlling are we??? Your his WIFE not his MOTHER. Good grief give the man some slack for crying out loud.
2007-01-04 18:31:47 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋