my grilfriend of a year has made it know that she wants me to move in with her again (we tried in 2006) but heres the problem, her grown daughter (30 yr old) still maintains a residence with mommy, ie a bedroom, and most of her belongings, but does not contribute to the household expenses. that is one of the primary reasons that it did not work in 2006. i feel that if we are going to live together it needs to be just us and her daughter needs to get her own place. her daughter lives part time with her boyfriend, until she gets mad at him then she comes and stays with mommy. my grown children have their own places. so my question is this, how do i tell her, do i just tell her point blank or is there a subtle way of doing this, if anyone has been there i would greatly like to hear how u handled this situation and any other comments as well, thanks
2007-01-04 10:15:42 · 13 answers · asked by keithy 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
First of all her daughter has more right in living with her than you since you're not even married.
Second, I wouldn't stick around someone THAT weird. People who have their 30 yr old kids live with them have "issues". And I bet if you stick around you're going to discover those issues.
Have a nice life.
2007-01-04 10:27:02 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
You must be absolutely honest with your girlfriend about your misgivings and about your wishes. How you proceed from there is up to you but if you do move in you must accept the circumstances as they are and know that you do not call the shots regarding their relationship. You will always come second to her daughter, as a parent you should know this, as you would surely not put her before your children.
I wish you the best of luck, your situation is tricky.
Not knowing much about you or your girlfriend I can tell you that in some cultures single children remain in the parental home until marriage, no matter how old they are.
I also happen to think that if more 'children' stayed home and saved their money, brought their spouses into the parental home, kept the grandparents in the home, more extended generation family homes, this would be a better, more prosperous country.
2007-01-04 18:41:54 · answer #2 · answered by Liligirl 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There isn't a way to tell her to throw her own flesh and blood out of the house so that you may get your privacy (believe me, I understand that you need it.) With a grown daughter there it is very awkward and I think that her daughter should, at this age, supporting herself, not living off her mom.
You know that this will be a problem so the only thing you can say is that nothing have changed in 2006 to make your relationship move forward. Tell her that you just feel uncomfortable with her daughter living there with you, and do not move back in with her till she resolves her situation herself.
2007-01-04 18:27:17 · answer #3 · answered by artist-oranit.com. 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well keithy after reading over some of your other questions in all honesty l think if it was me l would RUN !! Your relationship ended badly last time and l can't see that she would have changed all that much. You need to find yourself a more loving lady who will treat you as well as you treat her. Why go back to a relationship that will probably end badly again and you will get hurt all over again. Forget this lady and move on, unless you want a one sided relationship again and l don't think you do. You have made the break now, l would suggest you keep moving. Best of luck to you and Happy New Year.
2007-01-04 18:29:30 · answer #4 · answered by kazzadanni 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Point blank and honesty is the best way. If that doesn't work maybe suggest selling the home and buying something a little more "quaint"... maybe minus a room... further from the other boyfriend. Get it! Good luck!
2007-01-04 18:22:48 · answer #5 · answered by naliwad 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hey its me again...30 year old daughter STILL lives with her mommy...is she retarded or what?Im 26 and I live own my own, I was on my own at 17 for gods sake.
You are obvioulsy stupid if you even let this happen for a week, at 30 she should be out on her own, married and at least one kid you know. Her not contributing to the household expenses is a joke, her momma still buys hers tampons???
HELOO...send that 30 years old brat my way I teach her.
SO BE BLUNT YOU DOPE...duh.
oh, and her birthday (the 30 years old) buy her some barbie underoos and a brats doll cause she is obvioulsy a child.
oh yeah...pick me for best answer again, that was fun!
2007-01-04 23:02:25 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Put your foot down!!! Tell her before we move in together, your daughter has to find her own place. Let her know the subject is not open for discussion that's the way it has to be. AND THAT'S A WRAP!!!!!!!!!!
2007-01-04 18:22:43 · answer #7 · answered by Who is it? 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
30 years old? Mommy needs to cut the cord. Tell her it's time to leave the nest and fly far far away.
2007-01-04 18:25:39 · answer #8 · answered by *♥♫Hedy♫♥* 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
point blank, no games, no "nice" words, she needs to understand you cant live with her unless it's the two of you only.
2007-01-04 18:30:07 · answer #9 · answered by chikis 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Point blanck would probably be the best policy
2007-01-04 18:23:10 · answer #10 · answered by happy_cute_mom 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋