He cheated on me while I was away training after 7 years together!!?

Question

I had been with my bf for almost seven years started when we were 16 and now we're 23. I moved 8 hours to train for a really good job and did the best I could going home, calling, emailing, etc. However he started cheating on me three months ago and said I pushed him to it. It really hurts and I DON'T know what to do. he said we could try again when I got home but it just doesn't work that way. How could he hurt me so badly when I'm working my a** off for us. Now he's seeing a 20 year old and acting like he's 15. Any advice? Thing is, I still love him, and he never did this before. I know he loves me cause his new women keeps saying she knows she only around until I come back but I still have two months left!

Answer 1

Sorry, when will we learn we do not own a person"body and soul", we are due however there loyalty. Unfortunately we don't always get that but some men just cannot be left alone. When you do not know what to do about a personnel matter like this, DO NOTHING. When you are finished your job see what happens. If I were you I would stop the "how could he do me like this" and find a companion even if it's temporary. We women just worry to much about hormones, yes that's the culprit! A thousand men are looking for a woman like you, be patient with yourself.

Answer 2

You know, there are still some things here that were not answered. First, this the the first time he has cheated? What was the relationship like before? Next, was this job and your being away something that he was happy with or did you pretty much shove it down his throat or say that you decided and thats how it is?

All of these things must be taken into account in answering the questions. Now please, do not think that for a moment I find cheating to be anything other then wrong or improper. But I feel that you have to ask yourself if he was given good reason to have in mind that you could care less what he thinks or agrees with or likes. Especially if you didnt make contact with him regularly or show him that he matters to you. I have no idea if you did or not, simply posing the thoughts to you.

Lastly, while women love to dig on men, we men also have some experiences with women. We do not find it any harder to believe that you could have just as easily been boffing some guy the moment you got there and so forth. We have found that women often are no more trustworthy or loyal then men are, that is why I posed the questions above, about did you get a choice in your being away and so forth. If a person feels like they are always being told, at times they dont see much reason to care and they do what they want. Not an excuse for him mind you, simply realistic about how people are and how their minds work.

Answer 3

You dont deserve someone who cant keep their respect you and be faithful while you are off at work! Cmon dont make any excuse for this guy he cheated on you , YOU didnt push him, he happily leaped over to the other side to be with this other girl.. you should talk to him and ask him how is going to train for a job which obviously would have helped the for your future could push him to do something like that .. IF anything he should be there SUPPORTING you the full way.. I think you need to walk away cause you have 2 mths left there is no sense in you having to go back to training and continuously worrying about if he is back at home cheating on you..

Do you become what you are training for better your lift and find some one who will appreciate you and all you do.. He will realize what he lost and he will be the **** out of luck ..

Its not like he did it one time he did it obviously more times than one and is continously acting like a 15 yr old. He just alleviate the guilt by putting the blame on you..

Answer 4

Sherrie I'm going to tell you something I wish I had known and really understood when I was your age. I'm 30 now BTW. If your man cheats on you and you take him back simply because you love him, than he will do it again. He has made it clear that he does not respect you or your relationship. Taking him back will not make him a better man nor will he ever regret what he did. He is selfish and you deserve a lot better than this.

If you stick around and try to make him regret his past actions, you will only make him a better man for someone else. Get him out of your life ASAP and don't be scared to walk away. You will meet someone better and look back and wonder how you ever could have wanted to settle for your guy. Kick him to the curb and hold your head up high.

Answer 5

First, you didn't push him to do anything. He made the choice to cheat so don't buy any ca ca like that. That's just him trying to help himself feel better about it.

Next, y'all have been together longer than many couples stay married...and you started as kids. Neither of you have had the opportunity to know yourselves as single (individual) adults, experience what else is out there, etc. You got together with someone at too young of an age and now you are both growing/maturing and are doing it differently.

He may have been a good match for you in jr. high but that doesn't mean he will be as an adult. I'd let him to to live his single life and sow his oats and you can concentrate on your new job/position and getting your life on track where you want it...then you can think about what you really want out of a mature, adult relationship.

Answer 6

in order for u to forgive him he has to be remorseful, and give her up, which has not happened. he is acting like an adolescent, he has low impulse control, and the moment u are gone he is sleeping with others. i would say he loves her too if she is still around. personally once someone cheated on me i would always wonder when they were going to do it again. as devastating as the pain is right now, it does diminish with time, but your relationship with him will never be the same not ever. he not only is not remorseful but he is blaming u saying u caused it. so not only are u hurt about the cheating, he has made u responsible for it, making you question your own self, and hurting your self worth much more than it needed to be hurt. this man is not a man who loves u, or has any compassion for you. best to move on, he isn't going to take responsibility for his actions, would rather blame it on u, but he is the one who made the choice, didn't just happen, had to be consciously thought out, and decided upon.

Answer 7

Seriously, if he can't be left alone for a few weeks, what will happen if you guys get married and your jobs keep you apart for a while? I say don't stay, I konw it hurts but if it was that easy for him to turn to someone else, what's going ot stop him in the future? Besides, he obviously doesn't care too much for you if he;'s willing to hurt you like that, and tell you about it, and blame you for his mistake. I feel so bad for you girl, but as hard as it will be, you are still young and you still have a lot of time to find that perfect someone. He's not it. :(

Good Luck.

Answer 8

Look, nobody will be able to tell you any thing because YOU still LOVE him. It's all on you as to whether you can tolerate the other female in his life because once they start cheating, it won't stop most of the time. The lying will be common place for him to be with others while you're physiologically fooling yourself behind that four letter word "l-o-v-e" which can take you through another four letter word "h-e-l-l". Make up your mind about what will make you happy, because the other female will if you don't.

Answer 9

Cut and run, he is using this girl to fulfill his needs while you are out of town and he is cheating on you while you are away "working ur a**" off!!!! For some reason thinks its ok and you are supposed to just go back to him when you get home like nothing has happened, and she is supposed to just accept that because it suits his book. Ask yourself if this is really how someone treats you if they love you. What a complete and utter w***er. He is treating both of you really badly, and is being totally selfish. You both deserve better

Answer 10

Once a cheater always a cheater. If his penis is more important to him than you are do you really think it can work out? It may seem like a waste of 7 years but better to waste 7 years than to waste 15 years a marriage and two kids when he does it again.