When it comes to character, would you stay friends with someone who was doing terrible things? I don't know how people can "support their friend" while watching them wreck someone's life.
OK people always say how important it is to not be judgemental, but I think this is silly. People ARE judgemental. They might keep it to themselves, but we all do it. Look at the answers on here! Everyone is.
An example: a (just divorced) woman I work with has had an on-and-off affair with a married man at work for over 2 years. Everyone knows. Nobody says anything. Her husband found out (hence the divorce) but his wife doesn't know. Everyone says "Oh, I don't want to be judgemental?" To me this girl may seem nice but she is morally bankrupt. He is a jerk too I just ask about her because I know her well - him not really. I am polite and friendly, but I won't socialize outiside of work with her (she wants to "hang"). So everyone thinks I am "judgemental". Am I not right on this?
2007-01-04 09:29:04 · 13 answers · asked by fucose_man 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
It's even worse - she keeps him on by threatening to tell his wife if she ignores her or doesn't "service" her when she requires.
I was called judgemental because I vocalized (as part of a broader conversation) that I feel the cheating is never right. I am an opionionated prick, obviously.
2007-01-04 09:39:12 · update #1
Your question is too long, and got boring after the first sentence. I'm not being judgemental, just truthful. ~~~
2007-01-04 09:32:48 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 2⤋
The hard part is if u were friends before this happened. I had a friend that cheated, I told her she needed to stop, straighten it out with her husband and do what's right, I told her I will be there for her during this time but she needed to do what is right. The sad part is that she would never have thought she would go that far. So yah it's easier said than done being nonjudgemental and I don't think any less of her, but she wasn't acting like it was no big deal what she did. I think that's the difference. If she was ruining lives on a regular basis, I would never stay her friend.
At your work, no I wouldn't socialize with her either or the guy. That is not right.
2007-01-04 09:34:06 · answer #2 · answered by bdgirl 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you're doing the right thing. You're known by the friends you keep. I would not be friends with anyone who is a drug user, or is mean or is just not a quality person. I'm not necessarily passing judgement on them. They have the right to live their life any way they want and I have the right to choose who I do or do not want to be friends with. I do this because I don't want to have any trouble or drama in my life so I keep my distance from anyone who may cause such.
2007-01-04 09:36:17 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes you are Right.I had a similar thing happen where I work Both cheaters work there both are married had an affair then got divorced and now are engaged this is there 3 marriage each.It made for an uncomfortable work place and then people see you hanging with her they might think you are her next victim.
2007-01-04 09:37:42 · answer #4 · answered by Dew 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Morality, like art, is in the of the beholder. Think about that before rushing to dismiss it! Unless what is going on is life threatening, or illegal, make your peace with the offender(s) and know that you at least spoke your peace.
I once heard someone say "ain't me, ain't mine, don't care"
Sure this world needs less judgments and more getting along, but humans don't seem to have the capability to maintain either.
Sure it's sad but it is human nature!
2007-01-04 09:36:53 · answer #5 · answered by Koskimo 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You never know what factors are effecting this relationship. Maybe he's extremely manipulative and says he'll leave his wife for her. Or maybe she just chases after men that are unavailable.
Either way, they're just human. And anyone has a great story when you give them a chance to tell it. On some level there's always a point that you can relate.
2007-01-04 09:34:28 · answer #6 · answered by censored_4_tv 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should talk to your friend and suggest they not do the bad things. If it goes against your morals I would not hang out with someone that does very bad things I don't agree with. Tell them about it though before you break off the friendship. Maybe they need someone to shine some light on it for them.
2007-01-04 09:40:33 · answer #7 · answered by Venus 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think there is a fine line between being judgmental and having standards for the people you want to associate w/. I think the line is: when you start talking smack, then it's judgmental. If you just choose not to let these people influence who you are, by not allowing them to stink up your world, I say more power to you.
2007-01-04 09:32:49 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 4⤊ 0⤋
I think it's your co-workers way of justifying being total cowards!
You can choose not to hang out with whom ever you choose for whatever reason you choose! I personally choose not to be friends with anyone I strongly disapprove of. Why would you choose to be friends with someone you don't like?
2007-01-04 09:36:22 · answer #9 · answered by purpledragonflyjrh 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I agree totally. We must have standards and values. I am no longer friends with a man that I really felt close to because he started "dating" a 15 year old boy. Hell-o we all know what that is called. I called him out on it and we no longer speak. Rightly so, if I do say so myself.
2007-01-04 09:33:24 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋