Does my bf have some sort of mental problem?

Question

When I talk to him, he disagrees and says I'm incorrect, but further in discussion, it turns out we agree. I say, "That's wtf I was just saying to you?!!! WTF is your problem? Why is it so hard for you to comprehend what I'm saying to you?!!! We are saying the same stuff but you don't even realize it until 10 seconds later?!". Or I'll ask him a yes or no question. When the answer is no, he'll tell me I'm wrong and then start saying the same thing I said, just worded differently. This is REALLY a freakin' headache and I don't know how much more of this I can take. I love him but when he does this, I feel rage. Like I want to kick his *** or something. Why won't he just listen and comprehend what I'm saying before opening his mouth? Is this some sort of condition, or something? Or is he just playing mind games with me or trying to get a rise out of me?

Answer 1

it sounds as if he might have selective hearing or that he's thinking of something which he feels is more important at the moment, then after he has time to process your input it dawns on him that you are right so he then agrees with you. I'ts really quite common with males of all ages, but often grossly misunderstood however males don't view it as a problem with other males.It's the sensitivity of the opposite sex that brings this issue to light and can escalade into more then what it is. good luck hope this helps.....

Answer 2

I love the feminist lesbian answer from "On" above. LOL Yeah, that's it....women are always right and men are always wrong. What a hoot! For the record, there are plenty of women in this world that are poor listeners and are convinced they are always right.

Okay, her nonsense aside, here is how I see it. Your boyfriend, (a) probably doesn't listen very well, and (b) has a real need to be right which is probably rooted in some self-esteem issues. My 11 year old daughter is the same way, always having to get the last word in, etc. Honestly, you just have to decide if you are willing to put up with this.

I don't think its an issue of mental illness per se. Its just that some people are poor listeners. If you do have the patience to guide him through the conversation and get him to see that you two may, in fact, agree, that's great. I have oftentimes in life thought I disagreed with somebody but in taking the time to sit down and talk through it with them, found common ground.

Answer 3

I would suggest you to read some books about human psychology, especially about different kinds of personality. These kind of books helped me a lot when it came to understanding those around me. People are different in many ways and sometimes we tend to judge others by comparing them to our way of re/acting to different events. Cholerics for example tend to disagree with one's ideas and then say the same things as if those were their ideas. Sounds weird sometimes, but it doesn't make them mentally defective.
I met people who resemble your bf. It's true that they were annoying at first, but then I realised that either they just weren't used to listening attentively or they just perceived my words in a different manner (you know, a single word may be interpreted differently by different people because of certain aspects that influenced the learning of that word - psychologists have proven it).
On the other hand many people just aren't good listeners. They usually pretend they are listening to what you are saying, but they actually don't. Lots of them don't even realise that this isn't such a nice thing to do.
If I were you, I would try to make a difference between a man with mental problems (consult a specialist to find out more if I really think that he has a problem) and a man who behaves in a way that I wouldn't (meaning he has a different personality).
If it comes to playing mind games...lots of people like to tease those who get annoyed by certain reactions.
Have you tried talking to him about these things? And most of all, have you tried discussing this matter in a nice and friendly manner?

Answer 4

i do not precisely imagine he has psychological well-being themes, i imagine he basically would were very damage on the actual undeniable truth that you left him. He would basically basically be very over whelmed with this, and he should be quite dissatisfied that the lady of his desires (you) left him. although he's telling you to leave him on my own and to give up calling and all, I propose you write him a letter, or e mail him, or textual content or something, explaining precisely why you left him, and perchance he will comprehend and give up making up a bunch of lies about you, and calling you issues. If his personality has replaced a wide quantity and he has been more desirable aggressive, even once you've been relationship him, he will be on drugs. i'm not particular though, because i'm not a doctor, and that i do not recognize all the circumstances. i am hoping this helps, and solid success!

Answer 5

im a male and i think its true that this is typical of alot of males - i dont think im one of them though - but they dont only do it with females - there are guys who do this with everybody - i think its ego related - i dont think it has so much to do with not wanting a female to be right (most the time) - it think its more a matter of being so involved in their own thoughts and barely being able to fit any one else into their head - and usually (this may sound like im saying the same thing over again, but i think theyre separate things) an egotistical person feels they know better about how this or that is or should be so they are so ready to explain it that they dont even notice if someone else understands it just as well - theyre already convinced that theyre the only ones who understand it - and yes, its very infuriating

Answer 6

Thats the way it has been since time began. We never listen to a thing a woman says, and we will disagree with almost every statement made and presented as a fact. Love him for what he is, who he is and smile.
Now get out of the way of the game, babe

Answer 7

I doubt that he has a mental disorder. Do calm down, you won't do him any good by being angry with him. This happens in a lot of discussions, disagreeing and then agreeing. I wouldn't worry about it unless you realise that there are more serious symptoms going on as well. But I highly doubt that it's a mental disorder.

Answer 8

He's male. Most males dont want to admit that females are right, even if their opinion is the same as ours. Face the facts, happens with my boyfriend and I all the time. I constantly say things like " i just said that five minutes ago " or " if you would've listened to me the first time I said that we wouldn't be having this conversation "

Facts of life. (=

Answer 9

He's a guy,that explains everything.Need I say more?

Answer 10

if you have any kind of dout of it, then there's really something there to worry about.
get help