Will my husband cheat when he goes to meet the daughter he didn't know he had who is now 18 and her mother. They have been emailing each other including her mother for a while now, he says SHE still loves HIM. He has never cheated before but I am worried about this meeting that will take place far away from me, and is happening next weekend. Any thoughts???
2007-01-04 08:51:22 · 29 answers · asked by mmm_tracey 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I am unable to go with him.
2007-01-04 08:56:52 · update #1
because of work, we own our own company and 4 dogs, someone has to stay home.
2007-01-04 08:58:33 · update #2
daughter is in the Naval Academy and can't get that much time away to travel
2007-01-04 09:06:21 · update #3
Go with him. Protect your goods.
2007-01-04 08:53:40 · answer #1 · answered by Jennifer D 5 · 2⤊ 2⤋
Has he had a paternity test? He shouldn't be meeting anyone until he knows for sure this is his daughter. You should be included in this meeting. Stop making excuses that you can't go, you are her step mother and she should meet you as well. As for cheating, there is nothing you can do to stop your husband from cheating with any woman. He is a grown man and the choice is his, not yours. Don't concern yourself with things you have no control over, you are just setting yourself up to be hurt that way. Men will cheat on a significant other whether you are good to him, mean to him, the best thing that ever happened to him, etc. You could play the "what if" game until the end of time and still never know for sure-so don't waste your time and energy!! You are better than that! Also, she still loves him? Whatever-she still loves a man she got pregnant by and raised a child all by herself? Put yourself in her shoes, would you still love a man like that? I'm not saying your husband did anything wrong here, he may not have ever known, but if I got pregnant by a man I was in love with, I would have told him immediately, not wait 18 years until my child was old enough to find out on her own. And I sure as hell wouldn't still be in love with him. Sounds to me like she's a real loser which is probably why he left her in the first place.
2007-01-04 17:16:01 · answer #2 · answered by redbird 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
No one on here is going to be able to tell you what your husband will do. If you don't know, and you know your husband, what makes you think a total stranger can tell?
Now, in reality, it is not true someone has to stay home. Someone can house-sit, empoloyees can manage a buisiness for two days or a week, or you can close the doors for a little while. I run an athletics school, and I could get time off for two weeks with enough notice, with either the top students taking over or telling everyone there's no classes for a week. If you are concerned about your husband cheating on you, and you let him go alone because of your business, then you care more about your business than your husbands fidelity.
2007-01-04 17:31:38 · answer #3 · answered by Sean J 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Have confidence in your marriage. He has had over 18 years to run off and be with this other woman, but hasn't. That says alot. He never met the daughter? That says alot about how he felt about the mother too- we know the daughter didn't do anything that would make your husband feel that way, hence that makes me believe the only reason he hasn't met her up to this point is that he wasn't crazy about the mother. I wouldn't worry- he's keeping you in the loop, and everything out on the table and honest.
Just curious- why can't he fly the daughter out to meet him? Then, you could be included..
2007-01-04 17:02:08 · answer #4 · answered by Peace 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Why can't you go with him? Where is he staying? If its far away, I will assume he's staying in a hotel. So why don't you stay in the hotel while he meets up with her?
How are you sure this is his child anyways? Don't you think that if she would've known this was his child back then, she would've made many attempts to advise him of this. I would tell him to get a paternity test done b4 this little girl thinks that he is her father, and he might not be.
It would strike me kind of odd that he's finding out about this now.
She still loves him.......what a way to start a conversation? If something is going to happen, its going to happen regardless what you try to do to prevent it. Like I tell everyone, PREPARE YOURSELF FOR THE WORST. Just make sure you keep yourself looking good, you'll be fine. For all you know, this woman looks like crap. But if she doesn't, you're in big trouble.
2007-01-04 16:57:56 · answer #5 · answered by Rica 82 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think the mother wants him back in the picture because she wants some kind of child support from him. She may be trying to lure him back into her life so she can make him feel guilty for not being a part of the girls life, in hopes he will "pay up." If I were him, I would have a test done to see if in fact she is his daughter. He could be setting himself up for a financial problem if he gets in too deep. I do not think you have too much to worry about as long as you are honest with your husband about your concerns.
2007-01-04 17:34:40 · answer #6 · answered by Jaybo 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i am kind of in the same boat and i am tortured by it send for JUST the daughter to come visit you both at you home so that he does not go to his ex my himself to her turf it is a dangerous situation i do not care what any one else says you may feel you can trust him but in this world today i would not trust anyone that much you could get hurt and he could say it ment nothing just to get past it if at all possible if daughter can not travel you must go with your husband and at least feel the chemistry between the two
2007-01-04 17:46:17 · answer #7 · answered by Mississippi's Jersey girl 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you should go along. Or your husband could invite them out to where you are. Whatever you do, don't let him go alone. This other woman who says she still loves him will definately look for a opportunity to get her claws into him. The fact that you are doubting your husband, says mabe your relationship is not as strong as it should be. You should have complete confidence that your husband will be able to handle whatever situation comes up. I do think he should welcome your interest in going there with him, you are a couple and you need to approach this as a couple. Good Luck
2007-01-04 17:01:26 · answer #8 · answered by sweetpea 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
18 years is a long time,they both have gone through alot of changes in their life's.You are his wife and she really doesn't have any business telling him that she stills loves him.Yes they do have a daughter together but that still doesn't give her the right to come between you and your husbands marriage.It's really up to him if he lets that happen.It's understandable that he wants to meet his 18 yr old daughter who is an adult now.But he doesn't have to meet with the mother alone.Good Luck.
2007-01-04 17:21:16 · answer #9 · answered by Ms Lety 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Part of marriage is trust, and sometimes that has to be
tested, so let him go and let him know that you are
trusting him not to do anything other than visiting his
daughter. If it is different you will eventually know. You
will know more about him when he is away, and if he
loves you truly then he will call you while he is there, You
do not need to check up on him as he is the one away
and he should be checking on you to let you know that
he is still yours. Good luck.
2007-01-04 22:49:58 · answer #10 · answered by RudiA 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I would personally recommend that you go along with him to the meeting even though you have your own company to run.
Temporarily delegate the responsibility of running the company to someone you trust.
2007-01-04 17:23:37 · answer #11 · answered by Andy L 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋