i have known my husband likes women but he claims they are just his friends. recently he sends them txts wen i am there and even calls them but walks away so i do not hear wat they are saying . he claims he just loves thier company but has nothing sexual to do with them. pls help me. what do i do?
2007-01-04 08:36:56 · 56 answers · asked by bode 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Start by checking his text messages. If your able check his email account. Has his relationship with changed? Are you talking less? Not spending much time together? Not involved as much sexually? Maybe there isn't anything sexual going on. But if he is turning to them instead of you emotionally then there is a potential for the sexual relationship to evolve. Women-for some strange reason-seem to like going after what they can not have. Trust your instincts and follow up those "gut feelings" with a little sly investigating.
I really hope this isn't true. It hurts way too much to be betrayed by the person you have chosen to spend your life with-been there done that.
Good Luck! Hope everything works out for you.
2007-01-04 08:42:35 · answer #1 · answered by liskiehl 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Cheating doesn't necessarily mean that it's a sexual thing. He could also be cheating on you emotionally. Being married does not simply mean being there for sex. It's about a lot more than that. It sounds to me as though he is cheating on you emotionally and that he is not being entirely honest with you, with his female friends and with himself. I suggest that you talk to him and tell him how this makes you feel -- and think of how you want the situation resolved. If he stops it, will you trust him? You have to communicate with each other and the sooner, the better.
2007-01-04 08:42:33 · answer #2 · answered by Shibi 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Give him a taste of his own medicine. See what he'll do if the tables turn.
I would consider it cheating if out of nowhere, he has friends that are women. It's different if these women were people that we're friends prior to your marriage. But if they weren't, then where did he meet them?
If it really isn't anything, then there's no big deal looking through his text messages or picking up his phone when his friends call, right? Or even asking them yourself?
Just be careful b/c men have a way of trying to flip the script and turn this around on you to make it seem like you don't trust him. He might even threaten to leave you if you read his text messages and/or pick up his phone. But really if you love him and his possibility of him cheating on you is killing you, then you need to find out. Be prepared for the worst. Even if its nothing.
2007-01-04 08:43:24 · answer #3 · answered by Rica 82 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I'm sorry--sounds like you married the wrong guy. Husbands who love their wives don't make them feel like they come second to any friend. What he is doing (sending text messages, exhanging phone calls) is not acceptable behavior. He may or may not be having a sexual relationship with the women friends, but I'll bet he's trying to make that a possibility. It's enough of an offense that he has caused you to even suspect such activity. Serve the S.O.B. w/divorce papers and get the heck away from him. Your self esteem will start to suffer eventually. You need a nuturing man that can make you feel special.
2007-01-04 08:42:00 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
My wife had a lot of guy friends a while back. I really didn't have a problem with it, but I did get jealous and checked up on her, but never caught her doing anything inappropriate. It only became a problem when she started going out more and more after work and coming back drunk, and way too late during the week. I told her that it wasn't going to work like that because we had a daughter, and she was waking up. After that my wife stopped going out during the week, but has remained in occasional contact with her male friends (we and they have since moved to different parts of the country). She hasn't made any new male friends since we moved (7 years ago), so I think she just was really good friends with those people.
You have to draw the line on what you think is appropriate and what isn't. If he isn't willing to change, then he is just not into you anymore, and it may be time to move on.
2007-01-04 09:02:00 · answer #5 · answered by ♫ giD∑■η ♫ 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Since he is your husband talk to him about it and let him
know you don't like what he is doing. If he ignores you
and keeps it up you can go for seperation then if he still
does the same then you have no other choice but to file
for divorce, hopefully he will change. Ask him directly is
he cheating on you so if later he is and denies it then
when you do divorce you can get your justice. Good luck.
2007-01-04 15:19:17 · answer #6 · answered by RudiA 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, which 'women' is he texting and calling? friends that you know, people from work, other people you dont know. You got married and that should mean there are no secrets between you. Let him no that you are just worried - make out that you feel a little insecure at the moment and you need lots of TLC and he can help out by giving it to you. maybe he doesnt realise just how much this is affecting you.
men like to know that they are wanted too...:)
If you cant ask him in person maybe write him a nice letter telling him that you love him but you are a little worried etc..
Just a thought, Good luck. x x
2007-01-04 08:44:36 · answer #7 · answered by smileyscribe 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I Would Think Something Was Up If He Doesn't Want To Talk In Front Of You Or If He Don't Bring Them Around You..Try Doing The Same To Him And Show Him How It Feels..
2007-01-04 08:39:18 · answer #8 · answered by amber 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
okay, people, cheating does not always have to be sexual!!!
If you think that your husband is cheating...investigate it! What are the txts about? What is he saying to them? How many times does he txts a certain person? Does he sends gifts?
Does he communicate with you, and how long? Do you guys do things? Does he ignore you? Is he always in front of the computer or how long is he on the phone with the girls? Are you having problems? In my experience most men like "interesting/different" things to excite them....that's why they "entertain" themselves and get into trouble.
2007-01-04 08:54:58 · answer #9 · answered by lazykat 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
How do you think your hubby would react if you were to do the exact same thing, and came up with the same excuse?
I don't know about him cheating, but I am confident that he's being disrespectful and that you are being a doormat.
Think about it.x
2007-01-04 08:57:20 · answer #10 · answered by Kc 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋