Ok, I posted here earlier today that I thought the best way to deal with my separation with the wife was that I moved into our loft apartment and kept taking care of the major finances (car payments, house and utilities) while the ex and the kids live in the house. Her wages from her job are enough for her personal spending and groceries.
Some comments I got in return from you guys weren't very responsive to this idea!
The problem is that she is very irresponsible and immature with money, and just sending her a cheque once a month would be chaos....things were go very wrong very quickly.
The best thing for her and the kids is to remain in our house (they all love it) and for the kids to be with their mom (she is very loving and a good parent) but she cannot 'run a household' so I have to assist in that in some way.
So, if you didn't like our 'living on the same property' idea, give me some ideas on how I can give them a good household and still move on with my life......
2007-01-04 08:33:25 · 4 answers · asked by AUTO S 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I think that's very responsible for you to help her in that way. She is very lucky to have you worrying about the major finances like house, car and utilities. If you guys do get divorced, child support will be filed though. Then, if you say she is irrespossible, then you would not only be paying her bills but she will also be receiving money from you in child support. Be careful with your arrangments. Paying finances for her is not actual "child support". She could screw you over with it.
2007-01-04 08:43:46 · answer #1 · answered by Esther 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
First of all forget the separation idea. It sounds like you still love your wife and care about her welfare very much. Not just because of the children. The two of you need to work on the marriage, or work your way out of the marriage. No separation, dumb idea. Start communicating where the relationship is headed and where you want it to go. Counsling, Therapy, something. The kids are watching, they need two committed adults in their life who love eachother. If you are looking to move on with your life, then it will have to be without your wife . You need to get a divorce, seek visitation, and pay child support and alimony if applicable. Your wifes inability to manage money is her problem and she will have to get it together in order to run her household with out your supervision. She is a grown woman. Mabe she should take a class on money management, or get a life coach. Anyways if its movin on that you want, just do it. She can't move on eather if your still there. Whats it gonna be.? Are you in? or out?
2007-01-04 09:34:36 · answer #2 · answered by sweetpea 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The day you split up was the day you stopped being obligated to take care of her. The problem with her is she has never had to take care of things her self. So really you are not helping her you are enabling her!!! I think it is admirable of you ...but what happens when you move on with another woman. Do you think she will be happy that you are still taking care of this ex of yours. I know you only want what is best for your kids....but this is her lesson not yours. If she is so irresponsible...you move into the house and take care of the kids and let her rent the loft from you!!!! You are still trying to take care of her. If you were to die today...she would have to figure out how to take better care of finances on her own. Please attempt to move on with your personal life...she is not your responsibility;ty any more!!! Only your kids are your concern!!!!
2007-01-04 09:15:57 · answer #3 · answered by yidlmama 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your intentions seem to be good. But she needs to grow up and the only way she will is if you give her the chance. Move on with your life. See your kids often and wait till there is a problem and then deal with it.
2007-01-04 09:17:20 · answer #4 · answered by Beth T 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋