Working Mum or stay at home Mum, what would you do?

Question

Ok this is my story, I had a baby in sept and am due back to work next month. This is my second and with my first child I worked and regretted it,missing things like first steps, words, teeth etc and swore with this one I wouldnt go back to work so soon. Then in December my partners job became unstable and I got offered a job with a large company for a pretty sum of money. How could I refuse with our finances looking bleak. I took the job to start in feb and then set about looking for a nursery for the kids. Its gunna cost me a small fortune to put them in nursery leaving me with no money after paying fees. My older boy starts pre school in sept and a friend can childmind for me as soon as the baby turns 1. So do i stay at home and enjoy my kids until then or do i go to work and never see them? what would you do?

Answer 1

Hello Mary, give me a ring tomorrow and we can chat and see if there is anything we could work out for Sept as really want to help you. You're a really good mate to Kerry and with useless living with her she needs you and me!!
You've got my number honey so chat soon. I'll see if I can jiggle thing around to sort you out. Byeeeee x

Answer 2

I am speaking from a person who has never been able to have a child and my thoughts would be for you to stay at home and enjoy the Children God has blessed you with.
I believe God has called you to be a mother and not a career person. It is amazing how you can make do just by staying at home.
The world will tell you otherwise- you must have the latest TV, Stereo mobile phone etc. Your children are precious and value every moment of your time.
If you gave up staying at home and worked, you would miss out on some of the most precious moments. Those moments can never come back to you once your children have grown.
If you are still in need of money, why not work on weekends, when your husband/partner can take care of the children or why not work from home?
Many women are doing it now.
There are ways and means around this.
I guess it just depends on your value system.
I would give the world to have what you have been blessed with.

Answer 3

I'll tell you my experience with this. When I had my son, I went back to work with in 5 weeks of giving birth. I felt so guilty, and hated it every time. Well, I fell pregnant again with two months and decided I would do things different. When I was 6 months along I quit my job to stay at home with my son. I wasn't able to do this earlier because my husband wasn't at a stable job (construction) otherwise I would have. Now that my kids are 18 months and 7 months I am so happy I am home with them. I'm also going to school, but most of my classes are online so I don't have to be gone too often. I regret going back to work with my son being so young, I feel I missed out on so much even though it was only a few months. The first 3 years of a childs developement is so important, and I feel that being here for my children is the right thing to do. Follow your gut instincts, you don't want to do something you regret later on in life.

Answer 4

STAY HOME . What is the point of working if all of your money is going to pay the nursery bills. Also what is the point of having children if you are going to give them to somebody else to look after them?

I have just started back working part time after my youngest has just started school full time. There have been times when money has been really tight, where we have literally only just got through the month. We don't have flash cars, foreign holidays, and most of our furniture is second hand, but we do have 2 adorable well adjusted kids, who have a mummy who isn't too tired or busy to play with them.

Having very little money was a very small sacrifice too make to spend those precious years with the children that I wanted. Hopefully now we will be able to up our luxuries a bit, but I wouldn't of changed the last 7 years for anything.

Answer 5

I have to say I will be going back to work, as of April basic maternity leave entitlement goes from 6 to 9 months so I will have an extra 3 months, but as I work in a childrens centre ( a school nursery and day nursery combined ) I can take the child to work with me and will see them during the day. I know I am lucky, children's centres are often cheaper than normal day nurseries and as I am staff I will get a further discount. My partner and I are also arranging buying our first home so staying at home wouldn't be an option anyway. There is a stigma about working moms missing out on everything and tend to labeled as extremely as unfit mothers in some peoples eyes. My gran went back to work after all three of her children when they were around 6 weeks old, before decent maternity leave existed, in a time when such things were much rarer than now. She has no regrets because it meant my dad and uncles became close to other relatives who cared for them and my grandparents were able to afford nice holidays for them that they remember fondly.

Answer 6

I was a stay at home mum for 4 years, and I still am, but for the past 18 months I have been doing a direct sales job, so I work a couple of evenings a week. I could increase this to upto 4 evenings a week if I wanted, but it suits me fine.

Its the best of both worlds, I can be with my kids in the day, and work in the evening when Hubby is home and the kids are in bed. My kids are 5 and 2.

If you are interested the e-mail me on [e-mail]

Answer 7

I'm a working single Mum, my kids are older now tho, the youngest being 8. I went back to work because I wanted a better life for me and my kids but I'm in a different situation to you.

Really it comes down to what you want to do. If you really want to stay at home with the kids and you go back to work because you think you have to, you may really regret it later on. Also look at all the pros and cons of going to work/staying at home, will it be worth it financially with all the extra costs of childcare etc.

Answer 8

Theres alot of things you will miss that can never be relived if you go back to work .. At the end of the day you know your finances etc but i have 4 girls 16,13,10 and 4 and i swore before i was even married that i would never work as long as i had kids to bring up .. My mum used to work and i never saw her and i hated that .. I am here everyday for my kids , we aren`t rich we get by but we are a close family .. Money can`t buy that .

Answer 9

Tough one. I'm actually taking medical transcription courses so that I can work from home. I hate having my son in daycare. My daughter is 12 and has her friends and sports to keep her busy, but I miss the cuddle time with my son. Since you mentioned your finance situation being bleak, try to take a course that will allow you to work from home. While doing this, work at your other job just to maintain your other bills. Also - check out all the daycare centers in your area (including those from their homes) you may find a better deal. Best of luck to you.

Answer 10

Hi. Stay at home and enjoy them!

i stopped work when i had my daughter,now 2 and a half. I also had a baby boy in June 06 now 7mths.
I couldnt leave them,
My partner has missed everything with my daughter and will my son.
He earns enough to keep us,feed us,pay all our bills and abit for days out and stuff!
I would rather look back and be able to remember everything and not regret anything.

Money can be abit tight some months, but i wouldnt change my life. Our little babies are so precious, and you will regret it later on if you leave them!!!!!!!
xxCat

Answer 11

I'm not sure if you are saying that you need the money to cover your normal expenses, or if the money you make is only going towards day care. I would say that should be the determining factor. You obviously want to stay home, and if what you are making only goes towards day care anyway, it wouldn't make a difference and you should stay home and do what will make you happy. If you need the money to cover other expenses, then you have to do what's right for your family and work.