There was an article in the local paper today saying one in two babies are born out of wedlock in Wales. I know alot of people who are in long term relationships and have kids, I don't think they will ever get married. I have a baby and I see us being together forever. Do you think it really matters about parents being married these days?
2007-01-04 07:58:02 · 33 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
good points about showing commitment, I suppose that is a good thing to do, but what about people who have more than one child do you think that shows alot of commitment. I grew up in a happy home, my parents are still married after 31 years. I know deep down they aren't that happy with my situation but they love me enough to accept it. Perhaps because I grew up in a happy stable home, it's taught me how to make my own life stable and happy. We have few problems but I think everyone does.
2007-01-04 08:14:34 · update #1
Not at all... Society is a lot better at not making it a stigma any more.. UNFORTUNATELY, there are still people who have to quote scripture to make everyone feel dirty... Children can cope with any situation... It is the freaks and weirdos that can't...
BTW, good for you, for being so positive... :D
2007-01-04 08:02:08 · answer #1 · answered by Forlorn Hope 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I had my first daughter out of wedlock, I was 19 when I had her. Her father and I had been together for almost 2 years. His mother just about had a heart attack when I said that I didn't want to marry right away (she's 100% southern Baptist). She all but cursed me out for bringing a "bastard" child into the family. I said, "I am about to go through one life changing situation, I don't need another at the same time!" We did end up getting married 2 years later. I will NEVER forget how moments after we married, the judge informed us that we can now apply to have our daughter be officially "legitamit"!! I can't believe the the courts actually label children born out of wedlock as "illegitamit". We have 2 daughters now and have been married for 5 years. We have a pretty nice house in the suburbs and most people would never beleive how we started. We have worked SO HARD to get to a sense of normalcy, but it isn't easy to give your children the best when you start young. It can be done, though!
2016-05-23 03:27:35 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's more than just a piece of paper in some places. It's a legal document that entitles the spouse to benefits that aren't there if the couple isn't married.
On the other hand, it's a contract that binds the spouses together and makes separation expensive; and usually unfair for the spouse that earns more or brought more to the table in the beginning.
Parents being married is usually better for kids. Marriage makes it harder for couples to split up, by giving financial incentives for making the relationship work out.
2007-01-04 08:28:18 · answer #3 · answered by SoCalSkierGuy 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It matters, but it's not the final end-all-be-all issue. Marriage is more than just a piece of paper. You said that you "see" yourself with your man forever. I, on the other hand, stood up in front of all my family, friends, a representative of my religion and a representative of the state and promised all of *them* as well as my wife that I was going to stay with her through thick and thin. Can you see the difference? If I break it off with my wife now, I'm not just a liar to her, I'm also a liar to all my family, all my friends, my religion (and therefore my God) and my state. If it turns out that she's got a twisted toe that I find disgusting, and I just never noticed until now, too bad, I should have paid better attention to that kind of thing before getting married. That kind of security is good for kids. Knowing that your parents are together and that they aren't going to break up is a big deal. But like I said at the beginning, it's not the end-all-be-all issue. I know many people who were raised in very unstable homes that were married and a few people who were raised by very supportive families that weren't married. Heck, my own wife was raised by her mother and her mother's roommate (male) and they weren't sexually active! They didn't date, but they didn't date each other either. And they contributed equally to my wife's well-being. (He died when my wife was in Jr. High, so I never got to meet him.)
2007-01-04 08:07:31 · answer #4 · answered by Sean J 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Call me old fashioned but I think children should have parents who are married. I'm tired of all these "baby daddies" walking around impregnating every young girl who then bleeds the welfare system dry using resources up that could be better spent. The african-american community seems to think this is the norm...having children out of wedlock. It is just wrong. And before anyone calls me racist....I am not. I live in a major u.s. city and these are just the facts where I live.
2007-01-04 08:08:17 · answer #5 · answered by Kimmy 4 · 3⤊ 0⤋
I think a lot of people don't feel the need for a big ceremony and expense and all that but there are benefits to it. If you aren't married and one ends up in hospital you get no visiting rights for example, there's also something to do with money when someone dies, who receives their possessions etc and prob something to do with taxes. It's easy enough to just get married legally at a registry office for as much as it costs for the certificate and the registrar's costs. You could do it in your lunch break!
2007-01-04 08:03:54 · answer #6 · answered by dot254 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Why do people constantly say that marriage is just a piece of paper?
As far as I know that is the marriage certificate.
Though my marriage appears to be falling apart now I will always believe that it is better to be married.
To me it gives them security in knowiing that we will take it for better or for worse to work things out and keep family together.
Family and marriage seem to be an endangered species as selfishness is what the world is about these days.
Marriage is not about "me" its supposed to be about the other person and the decision to love them eternally
2007-01-04 11:32:05 · answer #7 · answered by JUSEve 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yes it matters. I think its important for both the security of the child and the legal responsibility for both parents to the child.
I agree with you that to many people it will not matter. Morals of our society in general have declined where as what was once important to one generation is not important to the next generation. But for a child to know that his/her parents care enough about each other to get married, I think goes a long way for the security and mental stability for the child.
2007-01-04 08:03:30 · answer #8 · answered by txguy8800 6 · 4⤊ 0⤋
honestly no. As long as the enviroment is healthy my husband and i had a baby very young and i did not want to get married becuase of the baby i wanted to be sure we could make it work.(obviously it wasnt planed) We waited till my son was 2 and decided that yes we did want to get married. We have been together for 6 yrs. we have2 children another one on the way and are still very happy to be with each other so i dont think it matters
2007-01-04 08:12:00 · answer #9 · answered by me 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
personally for me yes it does matter,im born and bread in liverpool i come from an average family myself,2 brothers and 2 parents.
We were all taught that you dont have children before you get married,its not everyone's views and people say its old fashioned but as my mum said if others did what myself and brothers did then there would be far less teen pregnancies and i talking about girls leaving school and getting pregnant straight away.
Im 36 and have no children and thats not because i cant have then,its because i have never found anyone i wanted to marry,my older brother and his wife have 2 children.
as i said its not everyones way of thinking but my brother and his wife have already said they will be teaching their boys the same values.
2007-01-04 08:05:45 · answer #10 · answered by freerange00720002000 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋