i am planning another baby but terrified of birth????

Question

my first birth was the birth from hell, i had 36 hours in labour and an emergency cesearean at the end. i had back labour as the baby was in the wrong position, i remember saying i wanted to die the pain was so bad! i desperatly want another child, but dont know if i can go through all that again. id try a natural labour again because i found the cesearean experience and recovery awful. but i had my baby at the end i know. im just terrified of birth as it really put me off!!has this happend to anyone??any words of encouragement xx is it worst the 2nd time round?x

Answer 1

Hi Charlie, I had to have a caesarian with my first baby and it was awful. I decided to try for a natural labour for the second one but after the first experience I was terrified, too. In the end, I found a book called 'Blooming Birth; How to get the Pregnancy and Birth you want' by Lucy Atkins and Julia Guderian.
I can't tell you how comforting I found it! And it helped me to get control of my fear and start to work out what I could do to contribute to a good birth. I got it from Amazon.
My second birth was, in the end, far less frightening than my first and I did get to have a natural labour after all. It was very painful but I didn't feel so out of control and I think that helped.
Good luck, I hope you have another beautiful baby and that it all goes well for you.

Answer 2

My daughter is 2years old, my whole pregnancy was really bad. I suffered from Hypentemisis Gravidera from 5weeks, was in and out of hospital for dehydration, everything I ate and even drank came back, and I got migraines when I lost my speech and couldn't even write down what I wanted to say. My labour was 16 hours and her head was stuck to my cervix. I had a natural birth and had pethidine in the last 1/2 hour. My daughter is fine and perfect. I'm now 32weeks pregnant with my 2nd daughter, I have been sick once at 12 weeks and thats it. I have had no migraines,or dehydration. I believe it's true that every women,every pregnancy and every birth is different. I hope it's not worse the 2nd time round, I'm planned to have a home birth this time nd anyway all the grief and problems are worth it to have that new little bundle in your arms at the end of all the suffering. I still want 4 children. I would do it again and again so it can't be that bad.xx

Answer 3

As a mother of four, I can say my second time was easier than the first. So was the third, for that matter. But when the fourth came along, I too was terrified of the birth/delivery. I really don't know why but I fretted almost the entire pregnancy that I would have to push this baby out. My husband says that twice a week towards the end I would end up crying on his shoulder cause I was so scared. The actual birth wasn't really that bad... and kinda funny looking back on it.
The best advice I have is that should you decide to go for number two, don't do it until you are ready. The fearful expectation of my last birth made things SO much harder on me than they needed to be. I put a lot of stress on myself, my baby and the people around me that truly didn't need to be there. Come to terms with the pregnancy before you get pregnant, and should you decide you don't want to go through it again, that's alright too. Adoption is a wonderful choice.

Answer 4

I had a similar experience the first time around -- a lot of labor that ended in an emergency c-section. Recovery was HORRIBLE.

The second time around, I opted for a scheduled c-section over a VBAC for many reasons that I won't go into now. What I can tell you is that having a scheduled c-section is ENTIRELY different from going through labor and ending up with an emergency one.

First, you can plan, so the anticipation stress of "when will I go into labor?? who's going to take care of my kid??" is less.

Second, you arrive at the hospital, everyone's waiting for you, the room is all set up, etc, so it's a better, more controlled, less stressed environment for everyone.

Third, and I think most important, you are not exhausted from all the labor, making the recovery SOOOOO much better and easier.

Don't get me wrong -- it's still major abdominal surgery that has a tough recovery. But I can tell you that the second time around my experience was worlds better than my first.

And having two kids is worth it -- witnessing the way they adore each other and make each other laugh is truly priceless.

Answer 5

Im sorry to hear that your first experience of childbirth was so bad. Fortunately my first wasnt quite as bad as yours but did last 43 hours. I felt like it was never going to end. The good news is, my second labour only lasted 15 minutes. I think you should go for it because you never get 2 the same. My worry is that the third is meant to be the quickest and i am now 36 weeks pregnant with my third. I think i might just wake up in the middle of the night hearing a baby cry lol. Anyway, i wish you the best of luck and remember, its well worth the pain!

Answer 6

Usually the "after the first" are easier!! I have four the first was the same as you, the second one was delivered at the hospital's door, the 3rd 10 minutes after I arrived and the 4th one was supposed to be a c session but I got there too late!!! I remember being petrified at the thought of giving birth and when doctors told me that I was in for a c session due to a bad heart, I was overjoyed!! When I got into hospital I had less than 20 minutes to be prepared for it, but my body just pushed her out!!! Trust me, it is not as bad the 2nd time and the eagerness of knowing and seeing your baby well makes all the hard work so simple!! By any means I'm not saying that it doesn't hurt, the pain is the same, it is just the amount of time, that you are in pain!!! Good luck

Answer 7

I have heard many times that all births are different and the first is always the hardest because you do not know what to expect. The second one should be easier. The only thing is that I am not sure if doctors do VAC deliveries (Vagina After Cesearean). You have to weigh the options. Is it worth going through what I went through to have another baby? If your husband/partner do not mind then maybe you should discuss adoption.

Good luck.

Answer 8

If you had an emergency c-section (with a vertical cut, right?) than it is highly unlikely that they will even let you try to have a natural birth the second time around. The vertical cut goes against the grain the muscle fibers and this can cause the muscle to tear if you have a hard labor. You will most likely end up having a schedualed c-section. It is my understanding that schedualed c-sections are far less tramatic than emergenct c-sections because you are in control and know what is going to happen. You know that it is comming and sometimes even get to pick the day of the surgery. There are no unexpected surpises, no time spent debating whether or not to do the c-section. It is all planned.

Answer 9

Every pregnancy is different and every labor is different. The second birth is alot easier in the way that you already know what to expect. There are certain things that wont be as scary to you because you have been through them before. If you can go through the labor you went through then I am pretty certain that you are a very strong person and you will be able to handle anything. I had a very easy 1st labor lasting 4 hours and 44 minutes of pushing with no meds at all. The second labor my daughter was still born, but even after that I had a set of twin boys and I was admitted to the hospital on Feb 2nd in active labor and didnt have them until the 7th.

Answer 10

It gets easier cause you know what to expect. But, you could always ask for pain medication. I got a epidural and I felt great. My first pregnancy was very difficult. My second was fanastic cause I had a supportive doctor and the hospital I went to was the top hospital for giving birth at. Since you had a emergency C-section, your GYN will most likely suggest you have another c-section. Perhaps one that you could even schedule! (Thats so neat cause it removes the element of--uh oh! I better get to that hospital now!)

#1- Talk to your doctor about pain medications
#2- Find out what are the top rated hospitals in your area and go to a doctor that is affiliated with that area
#3-Take a lamaze class and have your spouse practice breating techniques with you, cause you will forget, and they will be there to remind you!
#4-If this is too much for you , you could always adopt a child or get a new pet!