Is $1000 dollars worth losing a life-long friend over?

Question

We were as close if not closer than sisters, due to some weird circumstances I had an extra working cell phone when she had no phone at all so I gave her the phone on the condition that she pay for her use of the phone. $1000 later she never gave me any money and I took away the phone. Is it worth it to fight for the money, should I just walk away from this friend, or do I forgive and forget and keep the one person I feel truly understands me?

Answer 1

Umm...I'm sorry, but she's not much of a friend. She took advantage of you and owes you $1000. Try to set up a payment arrangement, even if it's only $50 a month. If she is willing to at least try to pay you back, then you should still be friends, but if not, then cut ties with her.

Answer 2

Not to go against everyone here but you did say that you guys were closer than sisters. You have no one to blame but yourself.
From the beginning you had 2 choices..... 1) give her the phone completely and expect for you to pick up the tab. or 2) expect that this would end the friendship.

Give her a chance, she might still pay you back. Not sure what the current circumstances are but could she be going through a rough time? She didn't have a phone to begin with. So that right there tells me that she was not capable of affording one to begin with.

A while back we knew of this man that lived in am empty warehouse and was having a hard time paying the rent there (something like $350), another one of our friends convinced him to go live in an uprise paying 4x more rent ($1250), our friend signed his lease and then regretted it when the first man wasn't able to come up with the rent money and had fallen 6 months behind and messed up his credit report.

It always amazes me how people see things.

Answer 3

While a $1000 is not small change it really isn't all that much. A friendship is worth so much more. I can't help wondering though... did she have the money and just did not pay you? If yes, why did she do that to you? I mean what kind of a friend would do that? Does she really understand you or is she just pretending in order to get what she needs or wants from you? Just some thoughts.

Answer 4

Gosh it's such a dicey situation because on the one hand you feel a life-long bond with this woman yet at the same time, it sounds as though that same friend is not holding up her end of the "friend contract" by stiffing you so badly. I think if you handle this properly by arranging a time to have a calm discussion about the situation and offer her a way to make good on this debt to you (she NEEDS to pay you back, one way or the other) you should be able to maintain BFF status.

Give her the opportunity to pay you back like $50 or $100 a month (and keep on her to pay it consistently) until the bill is paid in full. If she resists or rejects a kind and understanding gesture like this, sucky as it may be... you have an empty shell of a friendship that once was. You've done all you can to fulfill your duty as a friend and you may need to distance yourself from her as time goes on.

Answer 5

Well, in my opinion, if this friendship is mutual they the other person would not take advantage of you by generating a large bill and not paying. If it was tough times and they needed a phone, they could of gotten a pay as you go phone. However you were nice enough to lend a spare.

I'd question the relationship because it isn't right. It is more like stealing money then anything. Are you willing to forgive/forget that?

Answer 6

Well, if you think she is worth keeping then just forget about it. If it was me in this situation i would forget about it. I know how u feel. I have the same kind of best friend, one that is like a sister. We share all our secrets and we laugh together and we back each other up. We also cheer each other up when we are feeling bad. If u really want your 1,000 dollars well go ahead but you may not find a friend that is the same. So i would think before u do anything. Maybe a good week. Hope this helped!!!

Answer 7

Hmmm...if she 'truly understands' you, then she'd understand that 1000 dollars is an awful lot. She'd understand that it can adversely affect your credit for years to come & can adversely affect your ability to eat, pay rent, get gas to go to work etc. in the immediate future.
Perhaps, the two of you can sit down & come up with a re-payment plan... one that will work for both of you & the cell-phone company. If you have enough to pay the cell phone company, then you may want to do so to protect your credit. If you have been friends for years, then she should have no problem paying you 25 bucks a week for 10 months to pay you back. 10 months is no-time compared to a life-long friendship.
However, I advise you to chalk this up to lesson learned. This would not be a friend that I would loan a car to or anything risky like that.

Answer 8

I guess the real question is: "Does your friend value your friendship enough to make this debt right?" Clearly, you value your friendship. Does she value it as well? If she is in financial difficulties, she still needs to make some sort of effort to pay you. If not, she is taking advantage of you and using you. And she really does, "understand you." Because she knows that she can do this and you will allow it.

If she really cares about you. She will come to you with a plan to pay it back. I suggest you say something like, "I would really appreciate it if you would come to me with some sort of plan to pay me back. It doesn't have to be all the money up front, maybe a small amount at a time over a few months period." Or something like that. If she gets angry or upset or tries to pull the "poor me" card. I would think that she is more upset that she no longer can use you than she is about potentially loosing your friendship.

Answer 9

I guess that depends on your finacial situation and how good your friendship is. Right now I am in a position in my life that I could suck up a $1000 hit. It would hurt mind you, but I could take it more than I could 6 or 7 years ago. I didn't make as much money and I had small children. It would have been a much bigger deal then. My husband loaned 10 grand to his best friend that was suppose to be paid back a year ago. That I am sweating. He's my husband's friend so I seem to be a bit more on edge about it than my husband does. He has faith in him and is putting a lot of stock in his friendship. I know he'd be crushed if his friend didn't come through for him.

Answer 10

I think that friendship is much more important that money. Yes,$1000 is alot of money, but if you guys are so close, then work something out. Maybe tell her she can pay it in installments, or alittle at a time. It depends on how much it effected you. If you can afford it, then forget about the money. If you do not have alot of money, then try to work out a way to get money. Just explain the situation.

I can tell you a situatuion. I am in high school, so the situations a bit different, but friends are frineds. I have a really good friend, lets call her Diane. Diane was best friends with someone named "Byant". Byrant ends up falling for someone who does not like Diane (witch is another story, but we wont get into that). Everyone told Diane to forget about the old friendship, and not to work things out. I told her that when she is ready, to work it out. They were great friends, so why end it. She ended up giving him some gummy bears for his birthdya, then he caled her at home, and it is all better.

I can also say a persoanl story. Me, and my friend "Emily" went out for fun. I told her I had no money, but she paied for me. The day after she calls me mocher. I told her that is 5:30 (the price of the meal) was more important to her than I was, than to forget about it. We made up.

I am not equivualtiong 5:50 to $1000 at all. But friends should stay friends. Its not always easy.

Getting into fights does not mean you are not real friends, but not making up does.

Answer 11

You have to really question the friendship. It sounds like you are very close but if your friend felt the same, she would not have done this to you. A true friend looks out for your best interest and has your back. One who would do that to you and not pay for her mistakes...well I would be questioning the friendship. Best thing you can do is talk with her...explain your side and find out why she is not paying. If she still refuses and you cannot work out a compromise...then she is not much of a friend. In the future...remember the old saying "never loan money or things to friends...ever". $1000.00 is a lot of money and she should not dump that on you.