Two beautiful young children are all that we have in common. There is no hint of attraction for each other after 12 years.
2007-01-04 07:02:18 · 25 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Exhaust all avenues before leaving. You want you kids to grow up in a stable, loving environment and if that means, Mom lives in one house and Daddy in another then so be it. I would try couples therapy and being open and honest and if still doesn't work out, leave. The kids will sense that something is not right.
2007-01-04 07:07:08 · answer #1 · answered by reptmd 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well, first you have to understand what love is. It isnt that fairytail crap of running through open fields or not being able to keep you hands off one another or in never thinking someone else is attractive or having lustious thoughts of others for a moment.
Love is something that developes between two people, in which they really try and make real efforts to put the interests of the other person first. They work to show the other person the value they find in them.
Love can ebb and flow, with highs and lows. It can always be made to spark again, if both are willing to work and be sincere in doing so. Maybe it is just that you both need to sit and realize the good and worth in the other.
2007-01-04 15:13:37 · answer #2 · answered by Mr. JW 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Just my opinion, but I would not recommend you stay together. Staying together for the sake of the kids will only make the two of you miserable. Kids are very perceptive they can tell when there is a problem. I think people that stay together for the sake of the kids do more harm to them in the long run than they would do if they had just gone their separate ways to begin with. But with that said, I would strongly encourage you to seek some professional counseling before you leave a 12 year marriage. After 12 years, you owe your wife that at least!
Best of luck!
2007-01-04 15:12:07 · answer #3 · answered by Colonel Angus 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you guys have nothing in common, why stay together? Staying for the children is NOT a good enough reason. Don't you think they'd rather see their parents happy separately than miserable together? It's better to end it in a civil way, that way you guys can stay friends. There are too many relationships out there that end in a bitter way and where the parents continuously try to hurt each other, using the children as a weapon. It's not right for them, so my advice would be to talk to your wife, see how she feels about it and what she wants to do and go for it.
Good luck to you, l know this is hard.
2007-01-04 15:14:00 · answer #4 · answered by amarilysusa 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You have to ask yourself, are the kids better off with you and your spouse together or apart? Separated, they are in effect living with half the income that they enjoy now. Speaking as a kid that grew up in a 1-parent house, that's stressful on the kid, to say nothing of the parent with custody. Yeah, one of you will probably pay child support, but that's not usually enough to really make a difference.
The other question I have is, have you considered counseling? Find a marriage counselor, a priest or minister if you believe in religion, someone, anyone who's qualified for family counseling. Before you write off the marriage, try to see if you can find the qualities that you saw 12 years ago.
2007-01-04 15:07:40 · answer #5 · answered by Ralfcoder 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Love and attraction are two different things.......we all know that. Are you sure that you do not love your wife or is it that you are no longer attracted to her. It is very common to feel this way after being married for a while. We get so caught up in life's routine that we don't do things to keep up the spark. Do try a councilor, go on a vacation,,,,,,just you and her..........there you both will get a chance to unwind and talk freely about the changes needed to bring back joy in your marriage. I also suggest that you both could get a new wardrobe and try to go to the gym together............this really works.trust me!!! If she is nice woman, a good mother......then friend, its important to put in all the effort you can.
2007-01-04 15:23:39 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well...in my opinion it's better for children to see one happy parent rather than 2 in the home who don't get along or despise each other's existence.
Is this something you've worked on? Is this something you think you both WANT to save? Have you considered marriage counseling? Try to repair it before you totally give up on it! You married this person for a reason 12 years ago! If there are no major problems (like cheating or abuse) then try to abide by that "for better or for worse" vow and attempt to work on it at least. You owe each other and your children at least that much effort.
2007-01-04 15:08:14 · answer #7 · answered by Rach 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
No! Both of you should go on with your live's. Always keep in mind that your children's happiness is very important. But they can be happy no matter what you decide to do with your lives. As long as you and your spouse are open and calm about this situation. If your children are happy, both of you will be happy even if you seperate. Divorce may be difficult, but it doesn't have to be the end of the world for everyone. It's the ending of one chapter and the beginning of another. All of you can make it work out. Good luck.
2007-01-04 15:32:04 · answer #8 · answered by lilymarie 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hey guys, get busy and work on it. It can be done. I faked it till I fell head over heels in love with the guy I resented so very much. I loved him to death faking it and won him over, I was kind, sweet, loving, massaged his shoulders at the breakfast table, I thanked him for everything he did for me, I complimented him and in front of friends I bragged on him. I made him feel so good about himself. It took time but the reward was worth the effort.
We have been married 54 yrs.. have 5 grown married children and have the most loving relationship you can imagine. I don't desire to live 1 day longer then he does. He is a wonderful Christian husband, living his faith with me and every day is sweeter than the day before. Please give it a shot. What is the worst that could happen ??
God Bless You and your family & smile a lot, its contagious.
2007-01-04 15:26:57 · answer #9 · answered by Jill ❤'s U.S.A 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
What's your problem? I thought most married people live like that! If you sleep with someone for 12 years and have heard their snoring, farting, and everything attraction is a luxury that you can't afford. You both should go to your jobs and brings in some money, pay for the kids education, save something if you can. That's life is all about for most people. Don't think you are so special. I'm married for forty years buster,
2007-01-04 15:09:04 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋