Hubby's Bad Breath?

Question

My husband has constant bad breath that's wrecking our love life. When driving with him I'll offer him a mint, but he refuses. He says it burns his mouth. When I try to tell him about it, he gets mad, withdraws and he won't talk to me, which is his M.O. and this burns me up! He brushes once, maybe twice a day, flosses about once a week. He has a spinning toothbrush and only puts a small dab on the tiny spinning part. I've told him that wasn't enough, but he refuses to change. His breath has made sex a chore so much that now I refuse to have sex with him. He asked why and I told him I couldn't tell him because he'd get mad. Now, I'm just bottled up with fear of telling him. We've been married over 25 yrs. and this wasn't always a problem. But we've gotten older and had gum disease. I try to take special care of my mouth. I just don't understand why he doesn't. Generally, he's a very clean person, but his oral hygiene is terrible and so is his attitude about it. Got any suggestion?

He doesn't have a sinus infection and goes to the dentist so these are not the cause. In fact, when takes more care I don't smell it so I know it's something he can do at home.

I've shared my feelings with him in a loving and gentle way, but he's got some kind of block up. Which makes me wonder about his past.

Answer 1

Oh jeez what a bad reason to ruin a marriage.

I understand him being defensive - he is embarrased. But tell him (not yelling, not crying) - maybe a carefully written letter - one that you review later when you are not mad, telling him how important this is. He should see a dentist about this. He'll feel stupid going to ask about how to take care of his mouth.

There are medical reasons for it to happen. I wish you well. I hope you can resolve this.

Answer 2

What kind of dental tech? lab-worker, hygenist, assistant? Just because he works in the profession, doesnt necessarilly mean that his personal dental care is above reproach. Does he smoke? if so, he needs to stop. does he floss? he could have build-up below the gumline. when did he have his teeth cleaned last? he may need a "deep cleaning" below the gumline. Several of my family members are in the dental industry and you'd be surprised at some of the mouths of people they work with. You'd think dental office workers would have the perfect mouth/smile. not always the case. what is his diet like? some foods may chemically react with his body make-up. definitlely remove things like garlic & onions. Try removing other things one at a time and see if any of them make a difference. one other thing to try is to rinse with a capfull of Hydrogen Peroxide for about 5 minutes. He can do this while he showers. It kills bacteria that causes bad breath and IS safe, just read the bottle. Good luck

Answer 3

Listerene, and ya stop with those stupid spinning brushes. Give him some time he might rebel against you for a week or two cause he doesn't want to act like your right or doing what you say like your his boss it makes him mad. But if he knows he might fix it soon if you don't give him a hard time. good gum he likes, mouthwash, if he flosses after he brushes it will make his breath still stink, he's gotta floss then brush. maybe offer him really nasty sex in places you don't usually allow when you notice clean breath.

Answer 4

Even if it makes him mad, you're going to have to be clear and explain to him that unless he does something to change the situation, it's going to ruin your marriage - not only your sex life. I would suggest he see a dentist, maybe there's a problem that he's not aware of. Not that I want to compare your husband to my dog but I had to change my dog's food a while back because his body was reacting to some ingredient in the food and affecting his digestion therefore affecting his breath...maybe this is something that can happen with husbands too !!

Answer 5

This is difficult, especially when the person gets defensive. There are all types of things that can cause babd breathe. Is it possible that he has a cavity....that can definitely cause bad breath. Try to keep talking to him about it in a loving way.

It seems the sex decrease would've given him the message but I guess not. Do you think it would help if others told him?

Answer 6

As one person said, bad breath can be a sign of a medical problem. I believe liver desease can cause bad breath. It caused a friend of mines breath to smell like cat urine. If it hasn't always been this way, it could be a dietary change that is causing it. First I would get him to see a Dr to find out if there are underlying medical conditions that may be causing it.

Answer 7

DENTIST
my husband had that same problem
and when I told him the reply was the same.
Sad thing when he went to the dentist they were able to get rid of the problem with two visits
unfortunately it took about 9 months before he went and the relationship was damaged quite a bit in between time.

Answer 8

He's probably embarrassed and decided to be in denial about the problem. I had the same problem with my husband, and unfortunately, if he does not do something, it will probably get worse. You have to tell him how you feel, and try to get him to go to the dentist to clear up the problem. Sounds like he might need some oral therapies to get rid of the problem. ( My husband had someone else mention this to him and it seemed to help.)

Answer 9

Maybe bring it up from a health-perspective? Or enlist his dentist or doctor in helping your cause. Surely your husband loves you enough to know that you aren't being mean, you're being concerned. And he should care enough about your comfort level to not subject you to his dragon breath!

Answer 10

Bad breath doesn't necessarily come from not brushing your teeth. He could have a medical problem, or a sinus infection. You should get him to a doctor. Also, there are mouthwashes that don't burn, you could try that.

As for sex, you could try other positions, where you don't have to smell his breath. try front to back, or reverse cowgirl.