My wife has confessed to me she has bi-sexual fantasies. What should I do?

Question

To be honest I want her to be happy and have a fulfilled sex life. Is there a problem with me being okay with her experimenting?

Answer 1

Concerns

1. An emotional attachment is a real concern! Women by nature nurturing beings. Two women being intimate in this way might be too much for them to handle. Heterosexual bed buddies can develop an emotional attachment but the are some natural barriers to cross. Two women could get caught up in the moment. That's why YOU should be present at all times when they are together or communicate so they both understand this is just fun and nothing more. Your wife needs to see you as her husband and lover at all times. The other woman must understand she is being used as a sex toy. It sounds very cold but that's the only way I can see it working for the three of you.

2. Children all but make this impossible. If this person will be coming over on a regular basis, the little ones will be able to detect a bond of some sort between mom and the other woman. It could leave a wrong impression on them.

3. You might want to get in the middle of the action and they may not agree. This puts you in a very strange position. She's your wife but she may feel this is something she does not want to share with you (remember concern one). If you cannot be there $sshole naked with both of them at least watching, that's a bad sign.

4. After the experience is over wheather just once or over a period of time, there maybe a sexual or emotional void between you. I must admit, I would have a serious case of wood the second I witnessed or participated with something like that with my wife and another woman. You come back to reality once it's over and it may not be enough for the two of you to enjoy yourselves the way you did before the experience.

5. I need not mention but feel obligated to state safe sexual practices have to be in play. This is a stranger that could have ANYTHING.

Answer 2

My question to you is Is she happy with you. Because I think she dosen't what to cheat so in her mind having sex this a women isn't cheating. Like you side you want her to be happy and have a fulfilled sex life. This this mean you would let her have sex with a guy this is what you are saying in my eyes. The frist thing you need to ask her is. Are you happy with the sex life we have? The next thing is if there is anything I can change let me know. Then maybe on day you two can experment a three some. Other wise she is just going to do something behind your back and you will never know about it. GOOD LUCK

Answer 3

Obviously you must have a good marriage for your wife to feel she can trust you with these private and controversial thoughts. I would definitely open the communication further with her by being honest with her as to your first response and then taking the steps between the two of you to explore just what this means to you both. Many couples spice their sexual experiences by adding fantasy play but each of you must understand it's fantasy and or are turned on by the particular fantasy. Often we think about a lot of things more from being curious than wanting to pursue the activity but more discussion about the subject if you are having thoughts or reactions privately about this that you have not share with your wife. Now you must trust her back and share your honest thoughts on the subject without making it into a mountain or more serious than it really is. Good Luck.

Answer 4

If you are OK with it then I don't see anything wrong with it. If you choose to let her experiment, just ask her to be open a sensitive to you if you decide this doesn't work for you. My wife is bi and we have agreed that when she wants to experience a woman, she doesn't do it without me being there. This is not because I am just trying to get a threesome, but because I feel like it is a little deceptive for her to go off without me, just like it would be for either of us to have an experience with someone of the opposite sex without the approval and presence of our partner. Sex in a marriage is to be shared with your partner, whether that includes a third party or not.

Answer 5

Fantasies don't need to be fulfilled. As her husband, you're supposed to be her best friend, #1 in her life and she should be your best friend. She should choose you over everyone else. If you tell her it's ok to choose somebody else over you, you're giving her permission to view you as a less significant part of her life. It's a dumb move. You also risk disease, and total loss of your relationship.

Answer 6

As long as you get to play along....my wife has the same "problem"....

TALK A LOT. Make sure you understand what you are getting into.

Maybe just buy a blow up doll and use your imagination? Might be best to just use it as a springboard for talking dirty?

Answer 7

There is a problem with you opening open yourself to catch HIV and other STD. There is nothing wrong with being bi-sexual, but there is something wrong being the "second person" or the third wheel who is opening himself to STD. Hopefully, you guys do not have children because children needs at least one health parent.

Answer 8

Accept her as she is. But do your best as a husband and the man of her life. Nevertheless, she is still your wife and that means her body belongs to you and not to another woman. I make it simple, No compromise. Make her happy so she need not look for another woman if I may say so.

Answer 9

Sounds like a golden opportunity for a 3-some... You pick the chick, or at least agree to her choice and go for it. Enjoy!

Answer 10

Hell to the Nah! My man this is a golden opportunity for you to get some extra poo tang too! You and you wife pick out a girl you both like then get you groove on all night long.