How should I defend myself against an unjust accusation of sexual assault?

Question

I danced with a woman at my office Xmas party and she is now accusing me of sexual assault! There was no physical contact, presumably she just felt I "invaded her personal space" or felt the manner of my dancing was too suggestive - goodness knows! Admittedly, when apologising immediately afterwards I did also make the mistake of saying she "looked sexier than usual".
I don't yet know what she has claimed happened. I am not actually employed by the same company as she is, since I am self-employed. However, her employer (my main client) is initiating an investigation.
Any advice on how I can defend myself without getting too public (I am married with a family and they are unaware of this) ?

Answer 1

The wording of the Sex Discrimination Act is quite alarming:

4A SDA:

"(1) For the purposes of this Act, a person subjects a woman to harassment if
(a) on the ground of her sex, he engages in unwanted conduct that has the purpose or effect
(i) of violating her dignity, or
(ii) of creating an intimidating, hostile, degrading, humiliating or offensive environment for her,
(b) he engages in any form of unwanted verbal, non-verbal or physical conduct of a sexual nature that has the purpose or effect
(i) of violating her dignity, or
(ii) of creating an intimidating, hostile, degrading, humiliating or offensive environment for her, or
(c) on the ground of her rejection of or submission to unwanted conduct of a kind mentioned in paragraph (a) or (b), he treats her less favourably than he would treat her had she not rejected, or submitted to, the conduct.

(2) Conduct shall be regarded as having the effect mentioned in sub-paragraph (i) or (ii) of subsection (1)(a) or (b) only if, having regard to all the circumstances, including in particular the perception of the woman, it should reasonably be considered as having that effect."

This means that if you have a hysterical woman who feels that your attitude towards her was demeaning (for example, by describing her as sexier than usual) then you're in trouble. That remark seems to be a lose-lose one: a woman likes to look attractive at all times and the way to compliment her is to tell her that she looks even lovelier or particularly lovely, not "sexier than usual". Don't ever say that to a woman again!

You must simply stick to your story. You danced with a number of colleagues, one would suppose, including her. There were witnesses about, so it would have been foolhardy to have tried anything on, even had you felt inclined to, which you didn't, being a happily married family man. You are completely bewildered to be accused of sexual harassment and her allegations come as a complete surprise to you.

I trust, by the way, that you were sober. If it could be established that she wasn't, then it might help your case. Otherwise, just stick to the truth.

Answer 2

You're screwed (well, your relationship with that company may be). Look at the Duke "rape" case...any thinking person can tell you that there was no rape, but those kids got screwed because some bi+ch saw dollar signs. Depending on the woman's position in the company, you may lose that client. If she's a lower level employee, then maybe nothing will happen. If you are worried about criminal proceedings, then you probably don't have to worry as long as there were plenty of witnesses. I think that "sexual assault" requires physical contact.

Answer 3

Since you are not employed by the same comany, they have no jurisdiction over you in terms of formal action. Your contract with them is of course another matter.

As regards to the complaint, the company will be legally obliged to conduct an investigation but they have no right to insist that you participate in it. Any public disclosure by the company on the matter would be a breach of your human rights and possibly you might have recourse through the civil courts for defamation of character.

Because you are compromised in terms of your contract with the company, you might want to consider participating in the investigation if you believe you can demonstrate innocence.
Just a word of caution though, workplace disciplinary investigations are found on the basis of 'reasonabl probability'. This means that if ten people say you did it, and only you say you didn't...you did it!

Answer 4

There was no need to read any further then "At my office Xmas party". Do not defend yourself with out legal help if she is accusing you of sexual harassment on the job. The best way to handle this situation is to not speak about this incident to anyone, especially the accuser.

Answer 5

yup, if you are going to be dammed, be dammed for what you did and whom you are. If your client believes that your actions deserve an investigation by all means help them with it. Do not lie or change the facts, tell the truth just as you know it. Do not change a single action however small if you do it will create (in your clients mind if nothing else) the impression that you failed to prevent the appearance of impropriety.

Tell your wife and family, if this does get out of your control you don't want to catch them by surprise. If it doesn't your wife will appreciate that you trust her enough to not keep her in the dark.

Answer 6

Women, women, women, the only thing i can think of is going to the source and really pleading for forgivness and telling her you made a mistake. If she doesn"t accept this it be lawyer time or wait and see what happens. I hope the best for you. Some people are so serious about nothings.

Answer 7

Sounds like you should be concerned with your soon to be fall off in business and your wifes reactions to your behavior , than to any investigation about dirty dancing . Seems to me the only thing you are guilty of , is poor behavior. Not anything to get you arrested

Answer 8

This things happens and sometimes one find it difficult to accept,who knows your state of mind and that of hers!If you were tipsy or slightly drunk try and make peace with her because she got the better side of you,but if you strongly believed that nothing happened on that day i suggest you stand your ground and defend yourself.It's only the guilty that are afraid.Be truthful to yourself and all the best

Answer 9

Just tell the truth. It sounds from what you say as if you have done nothing wrong. It is a malicious allegation. Oh, and I would tell your wife because she's going to find out anyway and then you're going to be in even more trouble.
Good luck.

Answer 10

their investigation will probably not yield any results, so you may not need to worry.

however, if they decide you did assault her, you will need to retain a lawyer. she may even try to press criminal charges against you. Likely, your wife would find out.

What are you doing calling random women 'sexier than usual' and not letting your wife know what you are doing anyway? It sounds like this is a bigger problem than the assault allegation.