I have kind of a dumb question, but it's been bothering me since last night and I need some opinions.
I am living with the man that love very very much. We have been together for nine months after having moved together from our mutual old city to a new one about five hours away.
Of course, in the beginning of our relationship he was extremely affectionate and told me that he loved me several times a day. he literally jumped for joy when I told him (first) that I loved him and beeged me to keep telling him.
Okay, this is where I have my problem........
For the last two or three evenings when he says a prayer over dinner he thanks God for our "friendship". Not love or whatever, friendship.
Am I overreacting and reading into this or is it okay?
2007-01-04 05:01:39 · 22 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
By the way, we're not kids. We're 41 and 56 and both have been married before.
2007-01-04 05:36:59 · update #1
I think you should just ask him that question.
Only he would knows the answer.
Hope this helped.
2007-01-04 05:04:11 · answer #1 · answered by darfol 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
"Am I overreacting and reading into this or is it okay?"
How would you know one way or the other? Here's the deal:
Both of you are living together and the quality of the relationship is determined by whether you are both "happy" by being affectionate and telling each other that you love them.
Now you want some "opinions" to tell you whether there's a problem or not. We will all vote and assure you that all is well or that he's trying to break up with you. Then you will KNOW.
In 9 months neither one of you has been completely honest with the other person. It's all just so wonderful. Wake up and smell the coffee. When the train wreck occurs, both of you will be just as surprised.
2007-01-04 13:11:36 · answer #2 · answered by Thomas K 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's not as bad as you are making it sound. A good firendship in a relationship can be even more important than that "intense", "lusting" love - which will never last long in a relationship anyway.
The only true lasting relationships are built on mutual trust, friendship, and an inner love that is more than just the physical, it's metaphysical in nature.
I think you are overreacting a little bit about him and this word - but if it bothers you that much - tell him, and I bet you a dime on a dollar he'll stop.
2007-01-04 13:10:23 · answer #3 · answered by Dr Dave P 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You are overreacting. For many people, a good friendship forms the basis for everything, including love. You must have heard people refer to their spouses and significant others as both "best friends" and "the love of my life." Whatever phrase he chooses, the underlying sentiment is a good one.
2007-01-04 13:04:41 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
this is a good thing actually if i'm reading this right. see you need to be friends first before you can be lovers, and you need to stay friends to stay lovers, so i think hes thanking God for the continuing friendship as well as the love. maybe he just doesn't want the friendship to ever end because then the love would end. but also i think you need to sit down and talk to him about it as well for your own peace of mind. just tell him that it's bothering you and you want him to tell you what his thoughts and feelings are about it. tell him you just need to know his feelings are still the same for you and you want him to know just how much you love him as well. GOOD LUCK!!
2007-01-04 13:09:30 · answer #5 · answered by onyx maiden 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yes you are really over reacting.
1. Thank God the man is praying at all
2. You should be friends....
3. Get a hobby calm down before you scare him away.
2007-01-04 13:06:05 · answer #6 · answered by Hope this helps 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well, if he is still telling you he loves you than i don't see a problem. Now if he is just going around thinking yall's relationship is just friendship than you have a problem. Why don't you try praying for the food one day and mention you guys "love" for eachother and see how he reacts.
2007-01-04 13:05:40 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
And your next question is qoing to be "why won't men communicate", right?
Why are you asking us? Sounds like nothing to me. Friendship in a relationship is a good thing so long as it isn't like a pal-type freindship. If you are lovers and friends, then that is a deeper intamacy possibly.
2007-01-04 13:06:30 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Having a guy that is your best friend and lover is great. Maybe he is just beginning to appreciate that you have both. If it really bothers (or worries) you, ask him. Communication is the best way to find out what you want to know.
2007-01-04 13:05:30 · answer #9 · answered by BooBoo 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Obviously you have bigger problems than this. He is talking to a pretend fictional being, for crying outloud. Find a grown up adult that is not out of touch with reality.
God is a man-made fiction.
2007-01-04 13:24:26 · answer #10 · answered by JRSK007 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Aren't you supposed to be friends first then lovers, i mean ya'll have only been together for 9 months, why the heck are you even living with him already? GET OUT!!!!
2007-01-04 13:04:31 · answer #11 · answered by star-e 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋