My fiancee and I have been with each other for almost 5 years now. About a year ago we went to visit his "friend" (that is how he introduced her). While shopping, I found out that they had been in a serious relationship before me. He talks to her at least once a day. I just don't like it but he says I am being immature. What are you thoughts? Please be nice and no bashing. Thanks!
2007-01-04 04:58:50 · 20 answers · asked by reptmd 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
He introduced her as his "friend" and later I found out about the relationship. I think that if he would have been honest with me I would have been ok with it. She also is married, and they discuss our problems. Maybe that is the main issue, if she wanted him back she has all of my faults to show him. And the best he could hope for would be phone sex or something of the sort because we live too far apart.
2007-01-04 05:29:26 · update #1
Well, you can ask yourself, who is he with now? I do not think you are immature, and it was wrong for him to answer your concerns that way, but it does smack of jealousy.
I would be more concerned about his response to you voicing your concerns to him. You might want to discuss that issue with him. As my wife lets me know, "sometimes I just want a little reassurance, so reassure me!".
2007-01-04 05:07:30 · answer #1 · answered by buddha bill 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well I am like your fiancee. But the thing is that I didn't introduce my "friend" as friend, but up front my ex now current best friend. Now being honest, do you think my fiancee is any less jealous? No, my fiancee want my best friend out of my life. Nothing is wrong with that right? Of course there is something wrong. I have made it to a point of calling once every month and my ex having her own boyfriend of 2 years. My fiancee is still jealous even if i take a step back. So do you think my fiancee is immature or just needed?
2007-01-04 05:22:39 · answer #2 · answered by ken401lam 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I have no problem with my husband having female friends. We had a groom's maid at our wedding. However, in your situation I would be concerned about them talking daily unless they are co-workers or need to talk daily (i.e. professional reasons). I think it's possible for a man and women to be good friends after a long relationship but there is a great deal of maturity that needs to be involved on both ends to make this work. Honestly ask yourself is your fiance more mature than the average guy. By him disregarding your feelings and calling you immature is not a very mature and respectful way to treat you. I guess if I were in your shoes I would open a dialogue by saying "I'm feeling uncomfortable about the two of you talking daily. What do you propose can be done so that I feel better about this? If the tables were turned how would you want to handle this to put your mind at ease?"
2007-01-04 05:07:58 · answer #3 · answered by CA DIVA 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I don't like it either Honey !!! I am the Mother of 5 adult children and I can tell you, my 2 daughters would not put up with this for one minute. Its not right. To remain distant friends is as close as this friend should be. No phone calls. What's the purpose ? If he loved and respected you, he would not be doing this. He is getting something out of this or he is hoping to. I think you see the writing on the wall. Don't put up with this any more. THEY ARE BOTH ABUSING YOU.
2007-01-04 05:14:23 · answer #4 · answered by Jill ❤'s U.S.A 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
i know its over whelming but you gotta tell him before you concluded
so it would be fair for him as well rather than you breaking up the 5 year relationship
so tell him how you feel so you guys can talk it out
and work it out
isnt that how relationships last?
by working it out together?
so do it
its just a little bump on the road
and plus she is married
and your going to be wed as well so dont stress too much on this
or your bubble might just pop
2007-01-04 05:36:19 · answer #5 · answered by MightyHyphy 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well, there is nothing wrong about keeping contact with ex lovers, or ex girlfreinds, but if that is how he introduced her, then maybe you should do a little investigating, has there been any signs that he is going behind your back and seeing her, writing notes/text messages to her, sending presents? When he talks to her, does it do it where you can not hear him? is it secretive...if so lose him!!
2007-01-04 05:16:55 · answer #6 · answered by tuffchevy86 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
He's being immature if he cant move on without her in his life.That is not normal for him to be with you & talk to her every day.Maybe once in a while but hey,,cut the strings already.Id tell him if he wants her in his life THAT much then go be with her.He will either go be with her or realize that he doesnt want to & that you & he are more important.
2007-01-04 05:04:12 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think it strange that he talks to her every day, especially since he is engaged to you. You need to tell him that Mr. Smooth says to cool it with the ex, or that you will break off the engagement.
Look at it this way - is he going to continue talking to her every day once the two of you are married?
2007-01-04 05:03:50 · answer #8 · answered by Mr. Smooth 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Wow.. he has to talk to her once a day? Why? If he needs to talk to a female, why can't he talk to you about the things he's talking to her about?? I'd be careful with this one too.. but that's just not right... There has to be a reason he's still keeping her around and needing her in his life, otherwise he wouldn't be talking to her anymore. He should only need you, right??
2007-01-04 05:07:16 · answer #9 · answered by Dee 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Is his "friend" in a relationship? Who ended the relationship between him and her? I think you have to be worried if he talks to her everyday. I don't talk to my best friends every day!!! Do you?
2007-01-04 05:03:46 · answer #10 · answered by mvas800 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋