I recently moved back to town and ran into some old friends of mine who invited me over. These people live 3 houses down from my ex and the husband still hangs out with him. I have done everything I could to avoid him finding out b/c I knew it would cause problems, but they have been insistant that they want me around. I have no interest with him at all. That part of my life is over and I want it that way. Well, he found out and has now called our mutual friends and told them he will no longer associate with them b/c they are talking and seeing me. It has been 4 long years since we divorced. He is even engaged and living his life, why would he care about me or who I hang out with? Would it be a waste of my time to write a letter to him and let him know that I wish him well? Is there anything else I can do that may ease the situation?I don't understand why someone would invest so much into hating another person when it's obvious that everyone is better off the way things are now.
2007-01-04 04:54:40 · 14 answers · asked by barefootbabee 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
You know what? Pissonim.
Don't you dare write him anything, and if he ever approaches you, look right through him and keep moving, you aren't obliged to utter a word in his direction. Don't waste an iota of energy wondering about him, he is, as you said, history.
Your friends know you don't want to run into him, and abhor the ensuing drama (he's already started it, ignore him); let's hope they support you and will try to keep you two from encountering each other. His choice to retreat from the friendship is his loss. After some time, seeing you live happily without dabbling in his affairs (your friendships are yours, not his) may allow his temper to subside and give him a chance to think a little more reasonably. You're some kind of threat to him, I'm guessing. This can be a matter of pride, jealousy, control . . . whatever, it's his burden. He's choosing to carry it instead of chucking it away and moving on (as you've done).
He doesn't own the world. Let him discover his rude awakening on his own. Control freak. You know what little kids say? "YOU'RE NOT THE BOSS OF ME!"
2007-01-04 05:09:35 · answer #1 · answered by Zeera 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You would think but some people can not let it go. I would not write the letter only because it is a waste of paper with someone that hasn't got a clue what friends are for. If he doesn't want to hang with other people then it is his problem not yours.
2007-01-04 04:59:45 · answer #2 · answered by chancesare45 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Resolve for points
2016-05-23 02:54:20 · answer #3 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
he is still hurt over something, thinks he was done unjustly, doesn't matter how many years go by, if someone is hurt, and they haven't forgiven the past, they can't move on. perhaps he is afraid he will run into u att heir home. u can write him a letter, and wish him well, but there is something that hurt him back in the marriage, that he has not dealt with or forgiven this is why he still feels this way.
2007-01-04 05:21:59 · answer #4 · answered by jude 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is really a test for the mutual friends.
If they are influenced by his threat, they aren't worth your time.
You shouldn't care one way or another about your ex-husband's immaturity. You and he seem to agree on one thing: you're both staying away from each other. So, no letters, contact -- direct or indirect. Don't talk about him to anyone, most certainly to anyone who also has a relationship with him.
2007-01-04 05:05:24 · answer #5 · answered by jackbutler5555 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
No, it probably cannot be resolved. Take a clue from your friends, they invited you over because they enjoy your company. Your ex husbands issues over you are exactly that, his issues. Do not make them yours.
In writing the letter: Is it for your husbands good, or yours? I would strongly suggest you do NOT write the letter.
2007-01-04 05:00:15 · answer #6 · answered by buddha bill 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
At this point it seems ludicrous to contact him at all. Perhaps write him a long email but DONT SEND IT, just to get it out. If these friends of yours have a problem with the situation it is up to them to decide.
Your ex sounds sick and best to just ignore at all costs.
2007-01-04 05:00:21 · answer #7 · answered by larrydoyle52 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Well at least he doesn't want to hang around the same people you do. He did you a favor. I've been divorced 15 years and my x still harbors bad feelings. That's his problem. your acting more mature, maybe that has something to do with why your not with him anymore.
2007-01-04 05:02:13 · answer #8 · answered by Susan P 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I think that wishing him well is a great thing. It would make you feel better. Atleast you can tell him that the both of you have moved on to other places. Your friends are just stuck in the middle and that happens sometimes.
2007-01-04 04:58:04 · answer #9 · answered by sigkappsunshine 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
He's an azz , continue seeing your freinds just have them over insted of going over there!If he still has a problem tell him to get over it and grow up!
2007-01-04 05:51:03 · answer #10 · answered by Half Breed 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋