My husband has 3 kids from previous marriage, lately it bothers me that he talks to his x and the children?

Question

I knew since the beggining he has kids but lately it really bothers me that he have to talk to his x's and I feel really jealous about the kids. I really love my husband but is it worth it to go thru all this???? Please advice!!!!!!!!!!!

Answer 1

You are now just getting jealous that he talks to his ex-wife and kids? Unless he is talking dirty to his ex-wife, I don't see the problem. And his kids - did you think that he was just going to cut them out of his life once he married you?

Answer 2

You must understand your husband. He loves you and so he stays with you. You are feeling jealous becoz you love him too and are afraid to lose him. A real lover feels jealous but you need not feel insecure.

A man is not like a computer which can simply forget the past work. He is a human beng with memories and his children must be dear to him. Will you stop talking to your children even if you have divorced your husband? Come on treat him the same way as you would treat yourself. Be a human being first and then a woman.

You must remember that you took his ex's place. So live with him and be peaceful.

Answer 3

I'm not sure why all the bashing is necessary. You are entitled to feel jealous, but what you do need to realize it's YOUR problem, not HIS. There's no reason to think to end a marriage over this, you took your vows, you should stick to them.

My guess is for whatever reason (I say this because you say lately) you have been feeling emotionally neglected. Was there a family crisis, event that you were left out of? Have you not been feeling as loved as you once felt by your husband?

Regardless, these are issues you need to speak to your husband about RATIONALLY. Think about what you are saying to him and approach him logically, NOT EMOTIONALLY. If you get emotional, you've lost your battle HE WILL NOT REACT WELL more than likely.

Write your feelings down on paper, explain to yourself why you are feeling this way. Ask yourself plenty of questions and try and find out why you are feeling so insecure about your relationship and worrysome about your husbands with his ex and his children.

Once you feel you can approach him without accusations and objectively discuss with him your feelings lately. Explain to him that you've been feeling a little jealous of his relationship with his children and his ex wife. Maybe explain to him that you are unsure why you are feeling this way all of the sudden but you can't seem to help being bothered by it. Tell him that you need for him to be understanding right now while you are going through this, and maybe tell him you need a little extra TLC for a minute.

Is it possible that you are going through menopause or peri-menopause. These could also be issues.

Good luck.

Answer 4

I know exactly how you feel!! My husband has a son and his ex calls all the time and just talks and talks about things other than their son. At first it was nothing because I have a daughter with someone else. It really started getting to me, I guess for a few reasons, #1 because we have been trying for a baby with no luck #2 I found out why they divorced and because of my own insecurities I'm afraid she may want him back and he'd leave me to have his family back or something. He is well aware of how I feel and he limits the calls to being just about their son and no more lengthy phone calls. As for him seeing his son, he doesn't really because she makes it so hard. He isn't allowed to have overnights and if he wants to see him he has to drive 45min. to her house and sit there under her supervision. It's rediculous and I won't stand for that. He used to get all the visitation he wanted but ever since we got engaged and then married it's just gotten worse, he wasn't even at our wedding because he was 'sick'. Sad to say, but I was happy he wasn't because then she would have been there. Sorry for the un-needed story. I suggest just telling your husband how you feel and go from there. I love my husband so much that if things were still like how your situation is then I'd stick it out. In a marriage there are things you have to sacrifice... if it interferes with your everyday living then I'd seek help, it really isn't worth living an unhappy life over if thats the case. GOOD LUCK!

Answer 5

Get over your insecurities. If you love him then it's worth it. If you're jealous of the kids then get out of the relationship and go find a man with no kids. A real man would dump you in a second if you made him choose between you or his kids. And he will always need to talk to his ex because of the kids.

Answer 6

I was in this situation at one time, and I at one time was jealous too. At that time I did not have children of my own and did not realize that you do need to talk to you EX for the children's sake. It is better that he has a realationship with his x's so they can make decisions togeather about the children. I know how bad it can hurt your feelings, but you need to try and accept the fact that he had another family at one time and try to work with him to raise the kids and be civil to one another. In the long run if you love your husband you need to love his children and try to not get so upset about things. Hope this helps.

Answer 7

I have to talk and be cordial to my ex all the time for the sake of the kids (even though I'd rather hit him in the head with a frying pan). Kids suffer terribly when a marriage breaks up. I wish you could try and put yourself in their shoes. If you could feel their hurt, you'd support your husband being there for them. If you really can't deal with it, then maybe you don't love him as much as you believe you do.

Answer 8

My parents were divorced when I was a teenager and my step-mother was very jealous of my brother and I. It interfered with our relationship with our father. He never did anything with us by ourselves to spare the repercussions when he got home. We had to go to their house and nothing else so she could keep tabs on us and make sure my mother was not discussed.

Do you really want to be that low? Don't you know that the love between a father and his children is DIFFERENT from the love a man shares with his wife? If your husband and his ex wanted to be together they would have stayed married so what's the point of being jealous?

Not to sound rude but GROW UP and stop being insecure before you ruin your marriage and the lives of his kids.

Answer 9

You have to come to an understanding with yourself that his children and subsequently, his ex will be in his life FOREVER. Even once his kids grow up, there will be graduations, weddings, funerals, parties, holidays, etc. that they will need to communicate about. My advice is to learn to deal with it and perhaps begin a relationship yourself with the ex. I don't mean a best friendship but a friendly tolerable talking relationship....which could mean you can communicate for your husband occasionally and stay in the loop!

Answer 10

u are angry and think the ex and children are taking time from your life, i can see two sides to it, but unfortunately not much can be done, as when he is given a choice the children are going to win out every single time over u, been there and done that already and divorced. either u are going to have to deal with this, and accept it or your marriage is going to suffer, as he will see u as a selfish, self centered person, and see his kids and ex as doing nothing wrong.

Answer 11

You knew he had an ex and kids going in to this. If you love your husband you will be supportive of his need to be with his children and their need to have him in their lives. You should be thankful that you are with a man who takes his responsibilities seriously.

Of course he is talking to his ex. They are probably civilly discussing their children as in how they are doing in school etc., as all divorced parents should.