Should I stay even If I'm unhappy?

Question

Me and my GF of 5 years, are always fighting (not physical). The smallest thing sets us off. We have a young child who's 4 and have a homes together (mortgage). I've tried to talked to her but we just end up arguing. I'm unhappy at home and also unhappy at work, what type of options do I have? move out etc.....

Please any advice would be grateful

Answer 1

Find happiness within yourself. Dont rely on her to make you happy. Also choose your battles wisely. Dont sweat the small stuff

Answer 2

Happiness comes from within and if you are not feeling it, there is definitely something wrong.
I do not believe anyone should stay in a relationship for the child's sake.
The kids are not stupid, they see and feel the tension as they grown and will copy it in their lives later on.
If you are unable to be civil and talk about problems that come up without arguing, maybe you need to see a counselor to mediate...
If it is past that stage then maybe you need to let her know how you feel and what you are considering. If there is no change in her behavior then you have your answer.
You need to put the house for sale and get it sold and pay off the mortgage.
You should go your separate ways, and hopefully you will continue to support your child and be a good dad.
You do not have to be friends with her, but you have to be civil as trauma will affect the child.
I am hoping you can establish yourself on your own and she can do the same.
All debts should be paid off after the mortgage is paid off, you should withdraw and cancel your credit cards in both your names and any other accounts that bear your name.
You can always reapply for a new card....or account.
Bank accounts are included here.
If there is excess, then it should be halved fairly after all the bills are paid so that you each have the same opportunity to start again., as in kind the furniture from the house, with exception the child's room. This would include also any vehicles. Just because you do not remain together, doesn't mean you have to hate one another or watch only one person struggle while the other takes everything.
It should be fair.
If you plan a split try and get a mediator before running up costly bills through a lawyer....

Answer 3

It is important that you explore other options before moving out. The truth is that if a relationship is not making you happy, there is something seriously wrong with it. However while leaving and ending things might seem the best thing to do, there are some things you must consider before doing that. Are you unhappy because of her or is there something at work/career or in your life apart from her that is spilling into this relationship? Who actually starts bickering? Is she really to blame for everything? Please remember that if you are the one who is more at fault, this relationship can be saved by some good effort from your end. If she is the cause of the problem and refuses to talk abt it, seek couple counselling. Even these fail to work, you know what you need to do. But please do not end things simply because thats the easy way out! Life may not be so good on the other side of the fence.

Answer 4

How do you approach her? A simple thing like the wrong approach can blow a small issue into a massive one. If your tactics arent working try another. If all else fails, remember that there is a kid involved whose personality will develop according to the things his exposed to. Only you can decide whether or not your relationship is worth fighting for because only you know what you have with this woman. If the two of you cant sit and have a decent conversation regarding issues and so forth then your relationship is only going downhill. If you love her, try and find a way of communicating that is exceptable to both of you.
Remember communication is the pillar that holds a relationship together.

Answer 5

You're unhappy at work? What does that have to do with her? You don't like your job, then you go look for a better job when you have time to do it.

You have a kid, and a kid deserves two parents (who care for each other and don't fight all the time). I think the first thing you have to do is take control of your own happiness. Nobody--and I mean nobody--is going to fill that need: you have to be happy by choosing to be happy. That being said, somebody can provoke you purposefully, and that can be stressful enough that you can't wind down and appreciate the gifts life has to offer.

But I think part of the problem is you because you said you have a problem at work too. What would make you happy? Heck, I'm thinking of going by Starbucks for a Venti Mocha, and it's making me happy.

Answer 6

It's a very personal thing. Some people stick it out till the bitter end in the hope it'll work out. I tend to move on and have done it twice. It's not easy, especially with a child involved, but you must do what will make you happy. Make sure you get custody arrangements sorted out with a lawyer if the split is acrimonious in any way. Good luck.

Answer 7

I think it is very important to explore all your options before just walking away.At the very least the kid deserves for you guys to at least try something.Have you thought about counseling?You could go as a couple and one on one.Have you thought of getting a different job?Sounds like you are unhappy there.Maybe that is spilling into your home life.
To just throw up your hands and walk away is to easy,isn't it worth working for?If you can not work this out the child will pay the highest cost.I have been married for 22 years and believe me there were times when we both wanted to throw in the towel.But we thought of the kids,the years together,and what would it be like without him/her.That was always the clincher,I can not imagine my life without him.Can you see yourself without her? Good luck.

Answer 8

Besides the bickering with your girlfriend of 5 years, why are you unhappy? What is causing you to be so unhappy at home and on your job? You have to get to the root of the problem before you can begin to work on it. Don't move out so quickly... try to fix what is broken for the well-being of your child.

Answer 9

I thik you should go to couseling .If you go to church ask the pastor for advice find out what is really making you unhappy.I know I am starting couseling thank God I have been married for 14 yrs .And 2 yrs ago we moved in with his mother she is 76 the worst thing we ever did we fight all the time but I do love him .But I am unhappy .I hope and pray for the best for you both .The kids suffer hearing the arguments I have 2 age 16 and 10.

Answer 10

well if you think its worth saving, i would guess that as you are on here you think it is worth saving........


talk to your other half........but i mean talk............. properly.


not at home either- all too familiar and easy to row there, slam doors, go into another room etc.....

take her out to dinner. somewhere you will both enjoy and talk honestly.

failing that - and this might sound a bit distant but you could try writing an email to her or a letter. that way she can read it in her own time and analyise what you are actually saying. she could do the same.

its all too easy to switch off within seconds when you start to row over the same old same old dont you thing

make time for yourselves regularly. you are more than just mum and dad you know.

see how it goes.... try to rise above the small things.

as for the job, look for a new one.

good luck. this subject is never an easy one is it?

Answer 11

If you are not happy you should not be together, that negativity does rub off on your child. Do you want your child to grow up thinking that it is ok to fight all the time and not to be happy. My parents fought ALL the time and it messed me up for a long time. If you cant even have a conversation together with out fighting you should not be together. You need to move out and move on. It will not be easy but you all will be happier down the road.
Good luck!!!