My daughter is nine and going through early puberty (has breasts, body hair, body odor, has gotten some pimples). She has not started her period *yet* but I know it's got to be coming soon. I have no idea how to approach the subject with her. She's only nine and I am not sure she can handle the emotional part or the responsibility of taking care of herself....She's a tomboy and I still have to literally nag her just to brush her teeth and wash her hands!
I know there are tons of sources ONLINE for PARENTS regarding early puberty and I've read some. What I am looking for are resources for girls - books or movies preferred, that might help us deal with this. I just don't know how to explain to a 9 year old that she may be bleeding soon, why, what it means, and how important it is to keep herself clean/change pads....that sort of thing.
Help :-) This is a serious issue to parents...please no perverts or jerky answers, *please*!!!
2007-01-04 03:51:51 · 11 answers · asked by Rach 3 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Adolescent
P.S....I don't intend to just hand her a book and say "deal with this!" Just looking for something at her level to read to help her understand things and help me explain things and answer any questions she has easier. I don't want her to be afraid. Yes, we all saw the movie Carrie....!
2007-01-04 04:02:37 · update #1
I know this isn't what you asked, but I think you should start by bringing her for a check-up - maybe with a woman pediatrician.
Do some research about how stress may trigger premature physical development, and consider addressing any emotional issues she could have had over recent years which could have triggered premature development.
Just another unsolicited suggestion, though: Don't present it to her as if it is something to "deal with". Just present it as if its a boring, old, thing that happens to girls at one time or another; and "You know what? It looks like you're getting pretty close to the time when a period may start showing up." Tell her, "If you discover blood don't be afraid. That's what it will be. Just tell me, and I'll give you what you need to take care of it."
When it comes down to it, at her age all she probably needs to know is the simple statements: "When girls get to a certain age (different for all girls) their body starts to produce an egg, which could be a baby if it were fertilized. When the egg isn't fertilized the uterus sheds it's lining in the form of debris and blood and then starts getting ready for another egg all over again."
Because she's only nine, I think you may want to think about keeping the "mechanics" of a period to basic information only and allow her not to be thinking about all the related stuff right now. You can still give her information about babies and sex and whatever else - but maybe she could still be given that information around the time the other girls are being given the talks. In other words, an early period doesn't necessarily have to mean a loss of innocence.
Its also possible that she won't get her period for another year or two, which would bring her closer to 11, which is young but not horribly young.
There doesn't need to be an "emotional part" of having a period, and if she were to get one in six months or so and IF she were to get crampy or moody you may have to just plan to let her stay out of school.
Why not wait and see if a period shows up before worrying about emphasizing the need for hygiene. If and when it shows up you can tell her exactly how often to change feminine products and exactly why she needs to be clean.
2007-01-04 07:05:50 · answer #1 · answered by WhiteLilac1 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I don't know resources, but start with the basics. Tell her that one day she'll bleed from where she pees. When it happens, tell you so you can get her pads. I'd also suggest that you help her hide a pad in her backpack so she'll have it if needed. Tell her its normal and nothing to be afraid of. The blood will smell after awhile, so she needs to change it around breakfast, lunch, and dinner (at least until she gets good about keeping clean with periods). Then brace yourself and tell her bleeding is a sign of getting older and lead into the sex talk if you are feeling brave. If approached sensitively, it will go ok for you both.
I talked to my 8 year old about periods. She was very matter of fact about it and didn't seem embarassed or nervous, just curious as to details and why. If you don't act nervous or embarassed, she shouldn't either. After all, its something all women go through.
2007-01-04 04:04:15 · answer #2 · answered by Velken 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Ask her elementary school for the puberty movie if she hasn't already watched it. Ask to take the movie home, watch it from your home television set, and discuss it with her. It is easier than it is thought to be. You are the adult so you will have to take steps to enfroce personel hygene amongst your daughter. She will eventually get over the fact, even if it is scary at first. It is frightening for the first time for everyone, you can not take the fright out of the matter for your daughter. A librarian can also help you find books appropriate for her. Read it first, then have her read it then again answer all questions she has to ask.
2007-01-04 05:30:07 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
try contacting a family planning center in your local area to see if they have any books or movies that would explain this. if not then look online and order some from there. i remember when i was in the 4th grade we had to watch a movie that explained how babies were made and what your period was and all that. i found it very informative so i would recommend getting a couple of videos and some books. after you watch them together you can ask her if she has any questions or you can tell her anything else you feel she may need to know such as the importance of good hygeine. hope this was helpful.
2007-01-04 04:01:00 · answer #4 · answered by merwin5236 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
honestly... coming from a child's prospective.... i would rather be told the truth straight out... tell her everything you know about the menstrual cycle and why its there and yes tell her how to keep clean and sanitary... tell her you know it sticks but its one of the tings you go threw being a woman... my mother just handed me a box of tampons and showed me the directions... there was no discussion or anything... i felt so ashamed that for the 1st month that i has my period i didn't even tell her but if you sit down with her and let her know that its not something to be ashamed of but its just a part of growing up you and her will have a much better relationship... plus would you rather her here these kinds of things from you or would you rather her hear it from some of the girls at school?? just be open and honest with here and if you don't know something i suggest you look it up...
2007-01-04 03:59:13 · answer #5 · answered by *little one* 4 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Be honest with her. She is in school and has probably herd of parts of it already. that's where I learned everything!
Get pads, and tampons and keep then tucked away so that nothing is odd when that time comes and she can choose which she likes better.
Tell her its a part of growing up that makes all 9 year olds feel great!
2007-01-04 04:47:44 · answer #6 · answered by angelmwilson 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
http://www.kidshealth.org/parent/medical/sexual/precocious.html
http://www.toosoon.com/Home.do
The second one is a very good one!!! Lots to do and it's colorful, so she can go online and read with you. Make sure you read together so that you can answer her questions.
I know it'll be hard to explain, but try your best. Make it fun and let her watch movies...WITH YOU! Don't go into extreme detail, especially about sex and etc. Don't overcrowd her brain and make her think that growing up is a bad thing.
2007-01-04 04:13:55 · answer #7 · answered by purplmonkeez 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think no matter how scary or hard it may be, talking to her would be the best. She would understand better than watching a movie or reading a book.
2007-01-04 04:20:54 · answer #8 · answered by funmzire 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
The following is site for kids that talks about puberty and periods for people her age
2007-01-04 04:09:27 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
just sit her down when no one else is home and talk or play a game and then bring it up just don't do it in front of anyone else it will make her feel really weird
2007-01-04 05:38:32 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋