we've tried every postion i've even tried swinging after he cheated (i was his first) i forgave him. stupid i know :(. i've even gone to the point of tring to make his fantasy come true. i just don't know how to spice it up anymore. i'm not into the swinging so i put a stop to that real fast. but i just need some advice on how to spice up the love making and realtionship part. we also have 2 babies
2007-01-04 03:40:10 · 24 answers · asked by trblmmmy 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
You're confusing love and sex.
Dump the dude.
2007-01-04 03:43:07 · answer #1 · answered by anonymous 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I can think of nothing that I would kill for but many things would be worth dying for. You mention poverty... It's obvious there's to little love in the world when 1/3 of the population has an obesity problem and 1/3 are starving to death. I'd be willing to die this very second if it would bring more love into the human equation... I'm not important enough for such a sacrifice to mean anything. That's why Jesus came and died, but for all his wise teachings it would seem that love draws ever colder even among those who claim to follow him. May God bless you, as you seem to be a student of peace.... Blessed Be!
2016-05-23 02:42:34 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is classic manipulation. He's making you feel like it's your fault the relationship/sex is suffering, and it's your fault he cheated. Real slick, this one.
How 'bout you turn the tables on him? Tell him that the thought of him having been with another woman makes him seem repulsive to you and he no longer turns you on and that if he wants to engage in any sort of intimacy or lovemaking, he's going to have to jump through some flaming hoops to get you there.
In all seriousness, if you want to stay with him, you both need to get some counseling, both together and separately. Or, you may need to consider the possibility that you need to leave him. I know a lot of people say it's best to stay together for the kids, but not if they're going to grow up seeing one or both of their parents miserable and resentful of each other. How will they learn to have healthy, respectful relationships from that?
Wishing you the best.
2007-01-04 03:53:19 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You seem to do an awful lot for him, yet I don't hear you say anything about what he does for you... with the exception of cheating on you. I would say, this is not a good situation. And bringing up two children in such an unstable environment is not fair to them. I don't know about the other aspects of your relationship, but an active love life is vital to any relationship. You have to examine this relationship and see if you're just staying because you don't want to be alone (which is bad), you don't want to raise you're kids alone (that's not a good excuse either), or if there rest of your relationship is without major issues.
2007-01-04 03:45:43 · answer #4 · answered by Koko Loco 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Darling, you are trying very hard to make someone be interested in you and they don't seem to be doing the same for you. Here's some free advice from a woman who knows the real deal. A man who loves doesn't need to be entertained 24/7 to be faithful, to want to have sex with you and to want you. A man who loves a woman will move heaven and earth to sit with her for 10 minutes on her break, because that is the time she has for him. A man who wants it to be all about him will tire of his love slave when they gain a few pounds, stop making his equipment rise to attention because she isn't sword swallowing or doing his best friend this week. Stop humiliating yourself, stop being a door mat for someone who doesn't really seem to want you. Its time to let him chase you a little bit and if he isn't chasing you, he isn't interested. I know this is painful, but I know what I am talking about. Good luck my dear! You sound like a nice person who deserves better.
2007-01-04 03:52:38 · answer #5 · answered by Tippy's Mom 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Do you guys go out on dates on a regular basis? Is there someone who can watch your kids for the night or weekend? If you haven't tried it, I suggest some role playing, dressing up in sexy lingerie, maybe doing a private strip dance for him. Getting away for the night or weekend can help, too. Not necessarily far, just maybe in the next town, get a nice hotel room...watch a porno. Sorry if I'm not much help.
Good luck sweetie! I know it can be hard to keep the excitement going.
2007-01-04 03:47:02 · answer #6 · answered by cey12000 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It seems to me that there are problems in your relationship that are not related to sex.
Perhaps there is an emotional connection missing. It doesn't seem to be the action IN the bedroom that is the problem but the action or LACK of action OUTSIDE the bedroom.
Have you tried having "date nights" and trying to bring the ROMANCE back into the relationship rather than just the physical?
Why not try marriage counselling and in the meantime, have a week of massages and essential oils and candles where you're not allowed to do anything but massage... sometimes hunger is the best sauce.
2007-01-04 03:45:17 · answer #7 · answered by Lady M 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
The problem may not be with you. You may want to consider marital counseling or some type of couples therapy. It shouldn't be that difficult to have a satisfying sexual relationship as long as you both love each other and are attracted to each other.
Is it possible he has a sex addiction? I say that because it sounds like he doesn't find anything you to do sexaully to be fulfilling.
2007-01-04 04:59:04 · answer #8 · answered by Leroy 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Unfortunately this guy doesn't sound like he can be satisfied. Hes already cheated on you once and you have gone WAY beyond means. Most women would not have even entertained this guys suggestions. Find someone who will be full filled with you an you alone,
2007-01-04 04:41:58 · answer #9 · answered by Kim 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hate to say this but once a cheater always a cheater. But if you want to continue with him until he cheats on you again, good luck. He is having problems sexually with you because he is thinking about how exciting it was with the other woman and wants that back. Try cutting him off, make him work for it.
2007-01-04 03:49:47 · answer #10 · answered by mvas800 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all a man is going to do what he wants. Sex isn't everything so maybe you need to see if there's other areas that needs improvement like communication for example. Know that just because you have babies for someone doen't mean it always going to work out.
Secondly, maybe you should RE-EVALUATE this entire relationship. Don't Loose touch with yourself while trying to please a man(swinging).
2007-01-04 03:45:55 · answer #11 · answered by CeCe 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋