Is this normal?

Question

My husband and I cuddle,hug, kiss joke around and laugh when we are alone in our bedroom. I know that he is happy because of his you know, coming up under his undies or jeans. But he does not attempt to have nook with me. Sometimes he does and times he doesnt. I have asked him why not when he has a you know. He says that he is too tired from work and feels too lazy to. Is this possible, is it normal? Or is it me?

Answer 1

Its normal and sometimes it feels special just to be held and cuddled without it leading to sex. He probably really is tired sometimes

Answer 2

How long has this been going on?

It's certainly possible that a guy might be too emotionally stressed by work to want sex, especially if he feels degraded/humiliated by a work situation or if he's being threatened with termination. In that case, the drive disappears for a while until the stressful situation is over.

However, you say he has a physical response to foreplay and most guys with an erection and a willing woman would take it to the next level. And it's not common that a GUY says he's too tired/lazy to have sex. So, I would say his attitude is somewhat unusual.

I would wonder if there is a physical problem of some kind, if he's having an affair, if he's gay, or if he simply is so lazy that he doesn't want to have sex.

Only you can say if you are willing to put up with the situation, but I would definitely confront him about it in a loving way.

Answer 3

Yes it is possible for a man to have an erection and not want/feel like having intercourse with his woman. The erection is a physical reaction to how happy the person is with his partner!! Just cause it is hard does not always mean the body is ready to do the work!! It is NOT you! It is just the way the male body works. Have you never been (no easy way to say this so..) "moist" and still not wanted to have intercourse? I suggest that you might try to caress him slowly all over, even if he says he is tired. This is what my fiancee does when it happens to me, and almost every time we end up.....well, you get the picture. Good luck, and don't be so hard (funny) on either of you.

Answer 4

Men are lazy (well so am I given the chance). I sometimes just keep teasing my husband until he can't stand it anymore (then he finds the energy) or I offer to do all the work.

Something to keep in mind, men are frustrated as a general matter of course and the ones with self control are used to simply ignoring it when it is inconvenient.

Answer 5

Well then ask if it would be okay if you climbed on and did all the work?
Frustrating I know, but not all men have to act on a hard on.

I don't really understand it except maybe their libido is a little stronger sexually than they're mind. And as we all know, men included...sex is 80% mental.
Think of it this way...if he had to act everytime he became erect, where would he go when you weren't around? HMMMMM.

Answer 6

it could be normal but if it happens to much i would look into the other possible reasonslike a medical condition, stress, marital problem, other activities on the side, something else on his mind or really over worked good luck

Answer 7

Yes, it's possible and normal. He just wants to snuggle. Enjoy it. Sex should not be the marriage, just part of it.

Answer 8

Not normal at all. Is he afraid you will become pregnant or something? Try to get him into counseling. Seems like he feels like there will be negative consequences...
Or, it could be you. maybe you just don't do it for him and he'd rather take care of it himself!

Answer 9

It's not you, most men are just to tired. Even if they wanted to they wouldnt enjoy it as much being tired. Don't feel bad, it's not you. Promise. :-)

Answer 10

It's certainly strange.