Nobody else in his family breastfeeds, but I want to...?

Question

I'm nowhere near pregnant, but I've noticed that everyone in my husband's family who has had a baby has formula-fed their babies from birth, and neither my husband nor his siblings were breastfed either.

I want to exclusively breastfeed my future children, but it doesn't seem to be the "done thing" in my husband's family. My husband has actually looked slightly repulsed at the mention of it. (He's an otherwise wonderfully tolerant guy.)

When the time comes, I'm afraid this might be an issue. It seems like breastfeeding is a socially unacceptable thing in his family.

The last thing I want to do is turn off my husband, but I obviously want to do the best thing for our future baby. Should I stick to my guns and do what's right when the time comes?

Answer 1

I say stick to your guns. I tis much better for the baby. and your hubby even though right now does not want to share, might change his mind later. he will get over it. I think it is because he might think you have to pull out a boob in public, but it is not like that. There are many ways to remain quiet about it. you will be the mom. Your heart will tell you.
personal opinion: My youngest was nursed and she has out grown my oldest. they are over a year apart. The nursed child is also much healthier. I will never go back to formula. good luck future mama.

Answer 2

I am sorry to hear your family don't support you on the breastfeeding front. What I would do is get armed with all the facts about breastfeeding so that when they come out with comments about why you would want to do that,etc then you can answer them with some facts about why you are breastfeeding you can re educate them. I was 19 when I had my 1st baby in the UK and I bf him I was the only mother on the ward who bf and the youngest mother. My family were supportive but some of my so called friends were not, I ignored them and did what I thought was best for me and my baby. I was a little shy about BF around people, I have since moved to Australia and have had 2 more children and I bf everywhere. It helps that here nearly everyone bf and also my oldest child was 13 and didn't get embarrassed when I would breastfeed his brother and sister and if he could deal with that then everyone else could. Also you can be modest by throwing a muslin wrap over you shoulder when feeding although I never even bothered with that after a while because it was too hot some days and you really had to look very closely to see what I was doing. Don't stay in bedroom to feed that's so unfair get them used to you feeding that way they will get soon accept it. Be strong, I found that if I was a little nervous while feeding I would look at my baby and that always made me feel better.

Answer 3

Breastfeeding is very difficult in the beginning and needs a lot of support! It doesn't sound like your husband will be very supportive when the time comes so I hope you have friends and family that will do the job for him! But to answer your question....YES you should stick to your guns! Of course, you never know what could happen to prevent you from breastfeeding, but it is the most natural choice and your milk cannot be duplicated by a formula. Not to mention the cost savings! Formula gets very expensive. I would recommend to not worry about it until you get pregnant. Then I would suggest taking a breastfeeding class or something at either the hospital or find a le leche group in your town and take him with you for a few times! He needs to be educated about the subject b/c he doesn't have any experience with it...obviously! Good luck! P.S. Be careful about those le leche people though, they can sometimes be unrelenting and closed-minded to formula which could turn your husband way off!!!

Answer 4

I can understand why your a little worried about it now even though you aren't pregnant. All family's are different, it's a little strange how anyone could find it to be repulsing but everyone is different. A lot of it has to do with the way your husband was raised. Whenever you do decide to have children take your husband to classes like birthing even a breast feeding class so you can learn the benefits and why it's so important, also how natural it actually is. The other day i took my son to the park, a community park so there were tons of people, man and women, there with their children. There were women breast feeding their baby's and no one even seemed to take notice. Which i thought was nice, it's rude for people to make a big deal about a mother feeding her child. You should speak to your husband about your concern and let him know how important it is to you that he has your support because honestly it doesn't matter what anyone else thinks including his family! Do what you feel is right because if your going to carry a child for 9 months and then give labor to it then it's your prerogative!

Answer 5

I went through this too. I actually let my mother-in-law convince me that my twins weren't getting enough to eat and stopped after 4 months. I regret that so much now that I know more about breastfeeding. I breastfed my son until14 months and am breastfeeding my 10 month old right now. After I did it my sister-in-law actually decided to try it with her third. She was the first in his family. She did it for 4 months but was put on some medicine and had to stop. She is pregnant again and plans to breastfeed for 6 months on this one. As far as turning your husband off, I'm sure not everyone is the same, but it has no affect on my husband. He loves that I do it for the babies and doesn't mind the extra cup size I've got right now either. I suggest you educate yourself as much as possible and maybe join a support group. Contact La Leche League for help when the time comes.

Answer 6

It dont matter what is socially right or what others have done. If you want to breast feed then do it regardless. When you get pregnant you would be suprised what your husband does. My husband was against having kids and when he found out I was pregnant he actually was very happy and the only thing he was disappointed with but at the same time happy about was me choosing to breastfeed. He wasnted to be part of it but in the end my son actually chose to bottle feed no matter how hard i tried to breastfeed. In the end its upto the baby. Good luck.

Answer 7

Which is more important to you--"looking good" to your husbands family, or doing the absolute best thing you can for your baby (breastfeeding)? Seriously--think about it. If and when the time comes and you tell your husband you're going to breastfeed and he throws a fit, acts sickened, etc., ask him why exactly God gave you breasts that produce milk after having a baby. How can he POSSIBLY have a legitimate argument against it?

Answer 8

My husband's family is the same way. When i was pregnant the issue came up and i said i was going to breast feed the baby. Now i have a seven week old baby and am breast feeding. Just stick with your guns. Its your choice as you are the mom. You know whats best for your baby. Breast feeding is the best thing you can give to your child. It is also a great time to bonding with your little bundle of joy. Not to mention its really cheap!

Answer 9

Talk to your hubby about all the benefits of breastfeeding how great it is for the baby and for you! Also how cares if his family doesn't breast feed it is your choice not theirs. I thought my family were breast feeders until I had my son and breastfed him. I got so much criticism and raised eye brows and a million questions, but I didn't care I nursed him for 14 months. I also made sure if they ever came over or I had a visit with them I would nurse in privacy. I didn't want to make them uncomfortable, and I didn't want to be uncomfortable trying to feed my baby. When the day comes and you start nursing just be positive and always focus on the benefits.

Answer 10

Well, obviously you are thinking of having children and my best advice as a mother of three is to talk about EVERYTHING with your husband, not his family. My husband and I have talked and talked and so we feel comfortable with the decisions that WE made together. My husband was much more comfortable with formula feeding too, but I breastfed. They are my breasts and as much support that I had from him and the fact that we are so honest, it came down to me. We have a good foundation for being honest and supportive, so that played a key part. I would suggest to talk and talk and talk until you drive him crazy! I don't know why men hate to talk sooo much! Anyway, he has got to support you, or it will make things so much harder. Breastfeeding is natural, but not easy or painless, so support is important. Good Luck!!!