Mixed relationship help -indian hindu and white athiest/chistian?

Question

i'm a white athiest girl, although i was brought up christian. my boyfriend is hindu. this is proving difficult for our relationship, as his parents are giving hims stres over the whole culture difference/mixed relationship thing, they say he shouldn't even be having a girlfriend at his age (17). however, we get on so well and really really like each other. but i'm not sure how much of a problem his parents are going to be.

he said they're not forbidding him, but they are disappoiinted and they are making it difficult. also, he seems to worry that i will cheat on him or something, and so he needs reasurrance because he said he doesn't want to upset his parents for a quick fling. but we both want something serious but he still seems to be unbelieving of that on my part. apparantly his mother has been saying stuff like 'she'll just dump you when she gets bored..or cheat on you..that's what all girls are like'. i'd never do that, but i don't think he believes me.

iv'e been in cahtolic schooling all my life until the past few months when i moved-i don't believe in God due to past experiences, science, logic etc. i tried very hard to believe but i havn't for about a year now.

i think he would be willing to marry, although that is far off. we were very good friends before we got together, he told me he liked me since the beginning of october but i wasn't sure if i liked him back and i also didn't want a boyfriend. howveer i am now 100% sure that i do, and that i want him. i knew going into this that he wanted something serious-he made this very clear to me. i do as well. i know he is crazy for me, the only thing is his parents...he said that indian boys are not even supposed to have girlfriends till like 2 years before marraige, but he likes me so much so he can't help it..

what shall i do? is there any way i can convince his parents? and convince him that i am serious about this relationship?


i am more than willing to convert to hinduism if this ever gets really serious,that's not a problem for me...just his parents and be being white. i really want to be with him and he really wants to be with me but they're making it so difficult...
_________________

Answer 1

U converting to Hinduism will change nothing, young lady. Trust me, i can tell from witnessing these problems, the family is gonna hold a grudge against you ( regardless of what u do)... I have had several relatives with problems analogous to your, and trust me, they did not end very well ( to say the least). Your only hope is to talk to the the guy's parents and FULLY convince that you will not cheat on him and will not leave him. Even so, how can u be so sure? cuz in Asian cultures divorce is considered something very rare, and once that happens it creates problems for years (if not generations, once again i am saying this from experience). So your ONLY way of making it happen is to WIN the boy's parents' heart, and have them FULLY accept you. ( try showing that u really love the guy, tears will do just fine... ).

Answer 2

Honey, this is a very normal culture clash. You are still young and when you grow up you will realise this takes place on a much bigger scale everywhere everyday. I think you should tell him that you are willing to convert in time. If you ever meet his family, try not to discuss religion and respect anything they say about theirs. The fact that you don't believe doesn't mean you have the right to underestimate other people's beliefs. The only way to convince him that you are a good girl is that you do stay with their son. not cheat on him and make him happy. Give it time. If things go fine, in time, they will stop viewing you as a white aethist, they will view you as the girl who loves their son and whom their son loves back instead. Just have patience. Good luck!

Answer 3

What I believe you need some time to understand Asian culture. Try to learn Hindi Language as It might impress his parents. Try not to take this hard. You know, if you take it serious...it can cause more problems. Well its you own life...we can only show you the way the life looks like. Every person has different life style..you are soo young and If you marry at this stage It will cause problems at early stage for both of you. Spare some time and think of alll the matters properly....

Answer 4

Well first off you most likely will not be able to change his parents minds. Especially at this time. Some parents tend to but into their kid's relationships even though they have no right to. His mother is very wrong in assuming you will do something you haven't even done.

It's unfair of him to doubt your loyalty to him when you have done nothing wrong. Even if he was with someone of his culture it doesn't guarantee that the woman would be faithful to him. If he wants to marry you trust is a big issue. He needs to accept who you are and trust. You're saying you will convert but I ask why when obviously your whole heart would not be in it since you do not believe in God. Are you doing it just so he will accept you more? You need to be true to yourself and your beliefs since you have accepted his beliefs. If this man truly loves you and wants to marry you then he will do it because who you are. Not because he likes parts of you but wants to change other parts.

So I would sit down with your boyfriend and have a serious talk. Tell him you are glad his parents love him enough to express their worries for his life. However his parents do not know you as he does. When it comes down to it it's his choice. He's a year (or less) away from being an adult and whatever he decided is what he will have to live with. If he wants to believe his parents assumptions of you then that's his choice. There are no guarantees in love no matter who he chooses to be with. However you have given him no reason to doubt your trust. So really his trust issue isn't about you but him. Ask him why he doubts your loyalty. Ask him if he can see into the future unless he can he has no reason to doubt you. Tell him if he really loves you he needs to accept your differences. Because if he can't he's not loving you as a whole.

Answer 5

17 is still very young & u really got a long way to go yet. now u both luv each other but in future when both go into the working world, can u b sure that u can both still a couple? there is never a 'forever' in a relationship. concentrate on ur studies, let nature take its course. since u said his parents not objecting u two together so u might as well carried on but in the mean time schooling is still important. if both ur luv really that strong, u will still b together in the end no matter wat. so b cool.

Answer 6

I hear you sweety- been in several mixed-race/religion relationships.

Take everything one step at a time.
If his family dislike you- see if you can find out why respectfully- it may be that they distrust a Western girl misleading their darling boy (in their perception).
You do have a right to your religion and your beliefs, but it is wonderful to hear someone with heart enough to sacrifice their religion for love.
Think about conversion if and when the time arises- you're still very young and by what you type- probably not fully informed about this young man.
Take it step by step- cross your bridges when you come to them- otherwise you'll give that pretty head grey hairs.

Answer 7

First of all you are only young so I can understand his parents having reservations over that, they are only looking out for him.

As for the religion and culture thing I think you need to show them that you want to learn about their culture and religion so that you can understand him better and your relationship can grow (makes you sound good and also tells them that you are not trying to take him away from his roots, therefore you not the evil white girl!).

Answer 8

well firstly..hindu culture does not support dating at all...but ur guy is doing it..if he can break the first and foremost rule..then why does he care bout anything else? and if he loves u..then he should tell his parents that u are his soul mate..and the whole religion issue shouldn't even be brought forward...asian parents are strict..i know coz i am asian aswell...but they will eventually accept u as u are their son's happiness. if u can then jus carry on wid the relationship..if u cant then jus let go

Answer 9

i'm a Sri Lankan Christian (no longer non secular) married to a Hindu female. because of the fact the time of our marriage, I surely have been having a great number of difficulty - from my spouse, besides as her total family individuals. nonetheless we the two belong to the comparable race / nationality, there seems to be a great cultural hollow as a results of non secular ingredient. in certainty, i detect that my pals from different nationalities are continuously Christian. No offence meant, yet it extremely is the certainty.

Answer 10

Maybe just spend more time with him and them. They are probably worried that you are going to rush to get married. Also probably because you are both so young. Give it some time.