My husband treat me badly but yet I can't make myself leave him because we have a baby together.?

Question

What am I to do? Just keep living in an unhappy marriage?

Even though my baby is not old enough yet to know I still don't like arguing in front of her. But my husband doesn't care about arguing in front of the baby. How can I get him to understand that it can adversely affect her?

Answer 1

When he becomes argumentative then YOU must break the pattern. Walk out and away from him. You don't have to subject yourself to the argument. Your husband must also realize that there will be consequences to his actions. Since he doesn't feel he has anything to lose he isn't careful in the way he deals with you. Start saving secretly any assets that you can hide. When the time is right ; you can leave. Have a plan. Try to work on your marriage if you want to but at least be prepared for leaving if necessary. Also, many marriages have arguments. They are often like storms. Degrees of severity. A slight drizzle to a full blown out hurricane. Struggling through those moments is what will make your relationship stronger. I have been married for 21 years and believe me it hasn't been calm seas for the duration. With each passing trial ; security and trust are firmly established.
Think seriously about your decision. Be willing to compromise but never on your safety. Good Luck!

Answer 2

No! Do NOT live in an unhappy marriage!! If your husband is treating you poorly, then you must take action to remedy the situation, even if that includes leaving.

It is ironic that so many people stay in a bad relationship "for the kids," but that very thing HURTS the kids. They need to learn that if you treat someone badly, then you lose the things you love. They need to learn what a strong mother does to protect her kids and herself from abuse. They need to learn what a GOOD relationship is like. Living in a bad environment is going to scar those kids more than if you are strong and stand up for yourself.

So if there is no way to make the situation better at home (marriage counseling, for example), then you owe it you yourself AND your kids to leave the situation. Do NOT let your husband mistreat you. It will hurt at first, but in the long run your kids will be better people for it. I only wish my own mom had figured that out 10 years earlier than she did!

I know you are in a tough spot. I wish you the best of luck!

Answer 3

I understand that you want to stay together for the "baby's sake" but if this continues (which it will) you really should consider leaving for the "baby's sake". I stayed with my ex for my children's sake. After YEARS of staying with him for my kid's sake I finally had enough. I had been UNHAPPY for years cause all we did was fight (even in front of the kids). I finally left him and my children said it was the BEST THING that i ever did for them. You should really think about what this is going to do to your child if you stay with this guy. You say that the child is too young to understand what is going on. NOT TRUE! A newborn child can sense that there is anger in the air and develop nervous problems due to the fighting. Do what is best for your child. Leave that man.

Answer 4

It is hard to leave the father of your child. It is a huge descision. I know this from experience, if it is left untreated it will continue and get worse. Marriage councilling is the best way to find out what is what. At least this way you wont feel as though you didn't try. I had a marriage councillor who said if you haven't changed in 6 weeks, you don't want to. This is your life & your family. If he says no to councilling, he doesn't respect you, nor want to change, then I'd suggest leaving. A child is no reason to stay in a bad relationship, it's a reason to want to be healthy and happy.

Answer 5

Miss Lady I feel your pain cause I've been through it before.You have to try in get some kind of counsling for you both so that he can see that what he's doing is hurting you and your babies life.A baby can since when something's the matter ,esspecially with their mom.Kid's end up with behavior problems from always hearing and seeing that.Remember babies brains are like sponges they soak every thing they see or hear right up.God forbid your child grows up disrepecting you because she's so use to seeing her father do it .Theirs always tomorrow as long as you allow yourself to have one..........Dont cheat your daughter from living a warm loving life,and hope you dont allow yourself to keep going through that either,find someone that will love you two the way you need to be loved.He can still be her father and you can independent and strong .......Tell what you think

Answer 6

To stay together for the child is the wrong thing to do. Your baby would grow up and see you unhappy and that would cause your child to have some problems. Also would you want to set that type of example for your child. There are plenty of ways for women to get help now days. You need to sit down and not think of you but the baby,

Answer 7

Yes you should keep up the charade just to keep your husband happy and for the kids sake too. Just think of how happy your child will be if it is under the illusian that everything is well with the parents when in reality it is not. It will really be a fullfilling life since you have decided to settle and not really strive for what you want out of life, good job.

Answer 8

Ok, first of all do you want your baby growing up thinking it's ok to treat their spouce badly? If you're being hit, and the child grows up seeing it, next thing you know they will also think it's ok to hit you also since dad called you a "stupid biatch" They will mimic what they see and hear and use the same words.

There's no reason to live in an abusive relationship.
Find a local women's shelter and ask what to do. But call when he's not there.

Answer 9

Never use the baby excuse to stay in a bad relationship, this will never work and it will only get worse and the baby will turn out like your husband, if its a boy he will think thats the way to treat women and if its a girl, this is what she will think she should be treated like. I never could undeerstand why women stay with bad abuse and not caring men. Open your eyes, its a doomed future for you and your baby

Answer 10

counseling give him an ultimatum, don't leave right away he is your kids father the best man for the job. You just have to much baggage to start dating again. If he doesn't stop of course you gotta leave but try to talk about this and make sure he knows your serious this can work don't give up and make your child be a bastard or have your kid see men fly in and out of your life or he will grow up to think like a player.