wat r the chances of an arranged marriage lasting ? people say in love marriages at least u get a chance to know ur partner. But arranged marriage is like Russian roulette..
now i do know that stuff about how earlier arranged marriages survived but then again times have changed ..
2007-01-04 02:02:10 · 13 answers · asked by Cheshirecat 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Many people , especially in the west do not understand clearly about arranged marriages. Many love marriages in countries where arranged marriages are prominant fail.
The explanation for this is fairly simple. The reason why arranged marriages work well in countries like India and so on, is because, there are pre-defined criteria on how a man or a woman should behave and certain roles and responsibilities are enforced by the society itself. Also in those countries, families are more united and they have a big influence in the couple's lives. Respect for elders, respect for advise from experienced people and family is enforced by the society itself. So a couple living to gether in such a society in midst of the families always live their lives by satisfying many intrinsic family and traditional values and social values (unlike western world, there in almost all cases, they are very independent ).
So a couple living in such an arranged marriage always think twice before they do something bad, or say something bad and think about the consequences which would affect their siblings and their traditions and their entire families. And that is why, there is much compromise , support by the family and trust established. And that is why many arranged marriages there are successful, because of the variations in the social structure.
This will not work as well, in the Western Coutries, where we do not have such structure.
Given that many in the western worlds think that in an arranged marriage anyone just pick anyones and just marry. It is not so. Many times, especially these days, both men and women are given the choice to see many such prospective families and look at their traditions and also to many levels about personality compatibilities and also for most part they seek their spouse from their own culture, relligion, traditions and so on, which makes a life a lot easier. Just a couple getting along in life is a challenge. And when religion, culture, traditions are varied, it takes a huge amount of work to keep things in place. Their society gets rid of some complexities , so marriages can last.
Many love marriages do not last as long as arranged marriages in those countries, because of the same issue. If the couple has a issue, there is no one to really help or advise, and they won't listen to in the first place. It's a fight between two, and who is to say among them, is wise?
There is love at first sight and then love formed because you completely understand a person. And arranged marriage usually has the second form of love. Beauty is only skin deep. Love at first sight is all about physical attraction , even before you know anything about the character of a person.
The more you get to know a person, the more you get along with your spouse and his/her families, the more everyone loves you, and love is built slowly in arrange marriage. And of course love alone doesn't feed a family. There is both financial and moral support given to the couple in many cases.
But that does not mean 100% of the couple in the arranged marriages are happy. There are always exceptions. Not everyone can get along with everyone in the family. But then again, that is where tradition and compromise and religious values give them the power to keep things together.
The reason these days there are issue in arranged marraiges more than the older times, is primarily because of loss in family values, and family and social unity, and where these countries become more Westernized and people become independent.
2007-01-05 06:00:02 · answer #1 · answered by thewiseone 3 · 10⤊ 1⤋
Arranged marriage allows you to comment,love marriage doesn't.
2016-03-29 07:17:29 · answer #2 · answered by Megan 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ARRANGED MARRIAGES ARE LIKE OTHER MARRIAGES. IN LOVE MARRIAGES, PEOPLE KNOWS EACH OTHER BEFORE THEY GET MARRY AND IN ARRANGED MARRIAGES PEOPLE KNOW THEIR PARTNER AFTER THEY GET MARRY. IN BOTH CASE YOU ARE TAKING YOUR CHANCES. SOME TIMES IT WORKS SOME TIMES IT DON'T. IT'S ALL UP TO YOU THAT YOU WANT TO STAY IN THIS RELATIONSHIP OR NOT. I HAVE ARRANGED MARRIAGE. I DO CARE FOR MY HUSBAND. SOME TIMES I DO WONDER WHAT IF... IT'S NOT THAT I COULD NOT FIND ANY BODY. IT'S JUST THAT IT WAS MY DECISION. I NEVER TRUSTED ANY BODY. I THINK ARRANGED MARRIAGE DOES WORK BUT THEN AGAIN I DON'T KNOW ABOUT LOVE MARRIAGE, I NEVER GAVE ANY BODY CHANCE TO COME CLOSE TO ME.
2007-01-04 06:57:23 · answer #3 · answered by butterfly 2 · 4⤊ 1⤋
Honestly it comes down to how committed people are to making it work. If they are willing to stick to their vows and fight for their marriage it will almost always work...unless there is abuse or something. People aren't willing to fight for their marriage anymore...they let their selfishness get in the way and that is why divorce is so popular these days! Put your spouse before yourself and if they do the same you will have a successful marriage.
2007-01-04 02:05:17 · answer #4 · answered by Trevor 5 · 6⤊ 0⤋
arranged marriages are everlasting most of times.it depends on your partners behaviour as well.i think you should go 4 arrange marriage
2007-01-04 02:16:51 · answer #5 · answered by sudhir c 1 · 3⤊ 1⤋
In Bible times there were valid reasons for such an arrangements at times. We are no longer living in that kind of situation--meaning before the time of Christ, in which he instituted the proper and good way of marriage.
(Genesis 24:34-41) ".......So my master made me swear, saying, 'You must not take a wife for my son from the daughters of the Ca´naan·ites in whose land I am dwelling. 38 No, but you will go to the house of my father and to my family and you must take a wife for my son.' 39 But I said to my master, 'What if the woman will not come with me?' 40 Then he said to me, 'Jehovah, before whom I have walked, will send his angel with you and will certainly give success to your way; and you must take a wife for my son from my family and from the house of my father. 41 At that time you will be cleared of obligation to me by oath when you get to my family, and if they will not give her to you, then you shall become free of obligation to me by oath.'"
(Genesis 24:66-67) "66 And the servant went relating to Isaac all the things he had done. 67 After that Isaac brought her into the tent of Sarah his mother. Thus he took Re·bek´ah and she became his wife; and he fell in love with her, and Isaac found comfort after the loss of his mother."
-Rebekah had free choice in this, God never had sanctioned forced marriage.
-Then their was Laban --who tricked Jacob into marrying , Leah-, rather than Rachel, which pretty much turned into a loveless marriage.
-One, first to come to like somebody, then love can develope. Sex as the dominant reason for marriage is rarely a good barometer as to a successful marriage. Marriage is said to be like a lucious meal with sex as the desert not the main course.
Your are right as to comparing it to Russian Roulette.
2007-01-04 02:33:14 · answer #6 · answered by THA 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
How can a marriage last if you have no spark? A friend on mine was given an ultimatem to marry her cousin or leave home by her family when she was 17. She married him and has never had any sexual attraction to him. So although they are still together they constantly cheat on each other. Their marriage may have lasted statistically but it has not been a happy one.
2007-01-04 02:07:08 · answer #7 · answered by Carrie 3 · 2⤊ 4⤋
i wish my parents did an arranged marrige for me hahaha! i think that if they are set up the right way it may work. i wish they would come back!
2007-01-04 02:06:50 · answer #8 · answered by rhettatheroo 1 · 5⤊ 1⤋
No matter what the situation,the people involved decide the ending.
2007-01-04 02:05:41 · answer #9 · answered by punkin 5 · 2⤊ 1⤋
very confusing stuff. research on to a search engine. it can assist!
2014-11-12 21:00:13 · answer #10 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋