I have a 17 year old cousin whos pregnant and she quit shcool cause shes ashamed of what she did HELP?

Question

Shes very rude-mean and likes to get her own way and she lives with her boyfriend and her mom(my aunt)does'nt care and she does anything she wants and gets away with it but she started to have sex at the age of 12 and now shes pregnant and she only thinks about herself like recently her and her boyfriend went and got $600 photo shoot pictures and it really bothers me cause I'm a bit jelouse that she can get away with so much crap and I cant!
She also quit shcool cause she was embarased to go looking pregnant cause shes a straight A student and she was popular and alot of girls are jelouse of her cause shes real pretty and shes a big tease and wears revealing clothes and is perfect in every way but the big problem is she wont go back to shcool HELP?

Answer 1

Honey, look at the total picture: even with her good looks, early sexual activity, popularity and a permissive mother, what has it gotten her? Please don't feel jealous of her because she gets away with so much "crap". It sounds like your mother has raised you right since you can recognize that what the cousin is doing is wrong. Most of all, listen to your mother - she is your best friend!

Right now the cousin may be enjoying the freedom of living with her boyfriend. $600 for a photo shoot? Who paid for that? BUT, in the end, her pregnancy will drag on for what seems like forever then when the baby is actually born, reality will set in. She won't be having any fun and her boyfriend will get tired of her pregnant bloated belly, swollen ankles, tired fussy moods, then later, a crying baby with endless nasty diapers to change and bottles to fix. It won't be a holiday by any means even if her mom helps when the boyfriend splits.

When that happens, suggest to her the alternate schooling plans that most school districts have in place for pregnant students and for those whose babies have been born. They provide daycare for the child while the student is in classes. All of this is at no cost to the student.

You hang in there, girl. Finish your education and get a career started so you can learn to support yourself. Then think about what you want in life so far as starting your own family. (Babies are wonderful if you are prepared for life with them.)

Answer 2

At her age, she's learning that things will always go her way. They won't. She needs to learn this lesson now, or it will come as a big shock in the real world. The fact that she's pregnant and her mom doesn't care is a very big problem. From what it sounds like, your cousin won't care about her child, either. A baby can't be returned like a piece of clothing; it's a living, breathing human being. And she nees to realize this NOW.
I know someone who's pretty perfect at everything, too, and I'm jealous of her also. But just remember; nobody's perfect. Your cousin may act like she's all high and mighty, but she could be insecure underneath it all.
She needs to see someone about the baby right away. It will not be easy at her age without an education, a husband, or parents who care and will be there to help with the expense.
You seem to be very jealous of her, but you care. So there's still love for her. Remember that other people might love her for the same reasons you do.
Maybe talk to your parents or someone you know can and will help. She's only 17, so she doesn't know what she's gotten herself into. Hope everything works out for both of you!

Answer 3

You should NOT be jealous of her! She quit school, is pregnant and sounds like a brat. Is that what you want to be? I highly doubt it.

She obviously doesn't know what she wants in life or else she would have been a lot more careful and not gotten pregnant.

A straight A student pregnant....Not like the teachers and classmates haven't seen it before. She's not the first so quitting school was just dumb!

She shouldn't be having a child is she can't take the heat of it!
People are going to talk more about her now that she's left school to cover the pregnancy than if she had just stayed there and stuck it out.....trust me when my friend got pregnant everyone was talking because she just sort of disappeared... atleast the girls who stay in school get their education so they can provide for the child better....who cares what people think...that's so high school of her.

I think a baby is going to be a really hard slap on the face, since it's going to be all about the baby not all about her!

Time to grow up is all I have to say.

Answer 4

There's really nothing you can do about this, SHE made the decision to have sex, SHE made the decision to quit school, and SHE makes the decision on how she acts and what she wears. She's going to have to accept the consequences of her decisions.

Of course it'd be nice if her mom had been there more for her to teach her morals, or now kicked her out of the house so she will be more self-sufficient and a better money handler, but there's nothing that you can do about it. Her parents spoiled her, none of this is your fault.

I don't think she will go back to high school, no matter what you say to her. It's something that she will have to figure out on her own. Maybe she will end up getting her GED and going to college in a few years, who knows. People change a lot, and obviously she isn't very responsible and immature, maybe having a baby will change her perspective a bit. But just be there for her anyway, no matter how mean she is to you.

Answer 5

First, you need to be mature enough to realize that what she does and what you do are two different things; and there's no point in your stewing over what she "gets away with".

Also, though, she isn't "getting away with" anything. If she was having sex at twelve there's a whole part of her maturing she has missed out on. She's probably been used many times as well. She had to quit school (and do without education) because she's humiliated (as she ought to be because she either didn't do what it would take to prevent a pregnancy or else wanted a pregnancy and had no regard for whether she was mature enough to offer the best possible start to a baby).

There is a chance you (or she) are overestimating how many people were jealous of her in school because for the few people who think wearing revealing clothing is sexy there are zillions more who see it as pathetic and trashy. Being trashy or "a big tease" is not "perfect in every way". Neither is having sex at twelve, getting pregnant, or dropping out of school in humiliation.

So now, she's faced with either trying to take care of a baby herself (highly unlikely she'll be a capable parent in view of her trashy background and carelessness and the fact that she spent money on pictures when she could have picked up some baby items or set the money aside for child-care later) or else hoping her mother or some other adult will care for the baby. Its just so lovely when there's some 40-year-old mother who thinks her children are grown and who ends up being faced with taking on her kids' baby because if she doesn't it will end up in foster care!!

Your cousin is a little idiot who didn't care about her education, the baby's wellbeing, or the family member who will probably be there to bail her out.

She should just stay out of school, deal with getting ready to have the baby, making plans, etc., and then after the baby is a few months old she can start thinking about her future (if she's so inclined, and I tend to doubt she's the worrying-about-the-future kind).

You said she's rude and mean. Those are not the signs of "perfect in every way" either!! This immature, selfish, little, trashy, idiot is not someone to admire. She's someone to point to as an example when you want to show someone else what having sex too early and too freely will do to one's education, future, and sense of self-respect.

You and she have no idea of the mess that her life could become over the next decade because of her choices and her behavior (rude and mean mothers create rude and mean babies, and that alone is no piece of cake).

You need to just do your thing and don't worry about what the cousin does or doesn't do. If things work out well for her, great. If they don't, what can you do. She is obviously someone who will take care of her own little self regardless of whether her choices will effect others, so let her take care of herself.

Really - get your mind off her and do your own thing.

Answer 6

Not sure what the problem is here... This is the life she's picked for herself.

Girls like her always end up as nothings in the real world.

You just focus on yourself and your school and leave her be. At some point she will wake up and actually focus on her life and making something of herself and her family, instead of living to make herself feel good. You really have no part in that.

And being jealous of it is just rediculous. She'll end up being a nobody, but you have every opportunity to succeed. keep to yourself, leave her be. Just be a friend.

Answer 7

She HAS to go back to school. Who cares what the other girls think of her. I got pregnant at 17 and still graduated with a 4.0. She can do it. You just have to keep telling her that. It isn't about her anymore, it's about the baby. My mom dropped out of school when she got pregnant with me. All she needed was 1/4 of a credit in English. I'm so proud of her because she finally went back and got her GED after 20 years. Good luck.

Answer 8

she will be sorry when that baby comes out she does not know this but that baby feel every thing and heres all her emotions in side. you just remember people like that get what they deserve in live all that spoiled ness will stop when this baby will make them run out of money she should not have quit school how will she ever find a good job that way well she messed up i got pregnant in my 12Th grade year i quit because because i was sick with my first baby and i could not hold my head up each day well here i am 6 weeks pregnant again and no GED yet my first child is now 8 years old do the math i have not had any good jobs yet i am getting ready to go get my GED before this baby is born . it is a huge struggle fo me and my family. her boyfriend may leave har one day i see it comming dont you.dont worry your self thats her problem not yours

Answer 9

She should go back to school. I was pregnant when I graduated, while it was a bit embarassing, nothing beat the look on my daughter face when I showed her my graduation pictures.
And well she really wants to talk embarssing, try 10 years down the road when she has to work in a fast food place b/c she didn't graduate from high school and she sees her old class mates with real jobs and all.

Answer 10

my lil sis made it all the way to the 12th grade with a toddler and quit school too. i think she's retarded but that's her life. girls like them give up because it's easier than trying. i'd rather try and fail a million times than give up. she's ashamed because she's realizing what she's going to miss out on. if her mom doesnt care then that's where she gets her problem from. sounds like they need an intervention. a baby is coming and the most important things she needs to do is get proper prenatal care and get an education. you can only go so far in life working at McDonalds. tell her to go back to school so she can at least have a dipolma if nothing else.