He claims he's hiv negative, but I'm still sceptical. Is my paranoia justified?
2007-01-04 00:55:25 · 34 answers · asked by renaudldw 3 in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
He said that he was allergic to rubber. But when I told him that he could use plastic condoms, he said that using condoms made him feel uncomfortable. Thanks for all the useful advice and information.
I told him: "no condom, no anal". He seemed to take it badly. Feels like our relationship is on rocks now.
2007-01-04 02:20:57 · update #1
Oh yeah, he showed me his HIV Test Results recently. It was negative, but we're in a long distance relationship, so I can't be sure if he's being unfaithful.
2007-01-04 02:24:01 · update #2
From what he's said about plastic condoms and the fact that he's uncomfortable wearing condoms in general, it looksl like he'll use any excuse to not wear one. The only thing that may convince him, if anything, is an ultimatum: "Either wear a condom or I can't have a relationship with you." If you hear anything but "Alright then, I'm sorry." stick to your guns. You have to make it clear to him that your health is #1 and sex with him comes second. If he doesn't understand that, then tell him it's over because he obviously doesn't love you enough to make sure both of you keep healthy. Don't worry though, just because this guy isn't ok with wearing condoms doesn't means other guys are the same way. An ex-boyfriend of mine not only insisted on wearing condoms, but also wanted us to get tested. We even went together to do so. There are good guys out there.
2007-01-04 02:56:58 · answer #1 · answered by Megosophy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your "paranoia" is a good thing to have. If he is not understanding enough to respect your wishes, there's not much of a relationship there. Sadly our world is full of nasty little bugs that you could get and you have a right to be concerned. I'm not one to tell you about the dumping part, but you should sit down and talk about his lack of respect. It sounds like there could be serious issues there. My husband is allergic, but when we dated he was more than willing to wear the sheep/lamb skin ones. You should be proud of yourself for wanting to protect the both of you! Even though he's been tested, a later test could have a positive result. HIV is one of the bad ones, but there are also other bad ones to be cautious of.
2007-01-04 02:43:31 · answer #2 · answered by Aesea 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
uhh...dump the loser. The "allergic to rubber" is a winning argument. There are such things as "non-latex" condoms. I think that this is a warning sign anyway--any guy who would be so reckless with you is not worth being with. He is showing that he doesn't care enough about you to use a condom. Who knows what stunts he'll pull in the future.
2007-01-04 05:17:56 · answer #3 · answered by simcrazee21 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he has a no condom mentality that probably means he has had a lot of unprotected sex in the past. That just puts you at greater risk. If he is unwilling to listen to your concern then yes, he must go, trying to protect you own health and safety shouldn't be a problem in any healthy relationship.
Explain to him that it isn't that I don't trust you however for your own comfort you always use condoms. You never know what is out there.
2007-01-04 01:35:42 · answer #4 · answered by smedrik 7 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Your "paranoia" is justified.
I am not sure if you should really dump him, tell him that you are NOT comfortable having sex without a condom.
Not knowing how to convince a partner to use a condom fails to protect both of you from STDs and HIV.
2007-01-04 01:10:04 · answer #5 · answered by Kedar 7 · 4⤊ 0⤋
Best thing, is to tell him is to wrap it, sack it or whack it. No baggie, no shaggy. And if he doesn't like that, tell him not to let the door hit him on the way out.
You need to protect yourself regardless of his feelings and how he likes the 'feel'.
After all, even though he passed his test today, how long did it take for the results to come in? He might have been negative when they drew the blood, but after that? Aside from HIV, there are tons of other STD's around, like the Big G, plus let us not forget...baby.
It's your body, not his. Do what is right for you, not him.
2007-01-04 02:56:05 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Don't dump him, but find out why he does not want to use one. If you both get tested together and come back with negative results, you'll feel better about making a decision
2007-01-04 01:56:00 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
He has no respect for you,dump the idiot.
He can claim whatever he wants,have proof on paper,who says he's not been around after the test?
Like he is trying now?
I worked for years with aids patients:weird news for you:most of them got it from their boyfriends who weren't as faithful as they claimed to be.
Better safe than sorry.
And:no love without a glove.
Don't give in:he is a selfish creep.
greetings:Rob.xxx
added a few minutes later:you are not paranoid at all.Sensible I call it.And stay that way.
2007-01-04 01:39:01 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
Why don't the two of you go get tested and get the results together. That way there is no doubt about anyone's status.
If he doesn't want to do that, dump him.
2007-01-04 02:11:10 · answer #9 · answered by eboue1 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well u should try to make him understand an respect u an what u have to say......if u dump him that is for u to diside
have a nice day honey
2007-01-04 01:46:29 · answer #10 · answered by Daisuke niwa 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋