I was diagnosed with an anxiety disorder a month ago. I was put on Effexor and it never really seemed to work. I mean, I stopped thinking SOME irrational thoughts but they started back up again. Here is where it gets nasty, my anixety is making me believe that I have fallen out of love with my current boyfriend who I know I want to spend the rest of my life with. I have been putting up with this terrible anxiety for over a month and honestly I dont think I would put up with it if I knew that I wasn't in love with him anymore. I still want to be affectionate with him and see him all the time, have sex, and talk on the phone but its the small things that are driving me CRAZY. I am asking myself all of the what if's....One of the main what "if's" being "What if or have I fallen out of love with him."
I am so scared its going to come down to us breaking up and thats the last thing I want....I want to love him again, how do I make that happen
He knows everything thats going on...THANK
2007-01-04 00:54:42 · 6 answers · asked by dawson190154 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
I do not know anything about anxiety disorder, so I will not give you advice about that; but I do know a thing or two about love.
Just because the little things are driving you crazy, does not mean you are 'falling out of love.' Truth is, what we call "falling in love" is a chemical reaction that lasts a maximum of two years. These butterflies can come back, but only with hard work and a dedication to romance and relational/emotional intimacy. But the butterflies will not always be there...and that is okay! Most people think that being in love is something they should always feel. They believe being in love means always being happy with the person, and having that person always make you happy. But that is not the case. I have just finished my first year of marriage. And let me tell you, some little things my husband does drive me insane. Ask any married person and I am sure they would agree. I hate when he leaves the towels on the floor, leaves the laundry room door open, and uses my shower and fogs up the mirror while I am trying to do my makeup. The more you get to know someone the more the small things will come into the light. We all have pet peeves and annoyances, and part of love is accepting them. I LOVE my husband more than I could ever explain. Love is a choice. It really is. If you live your life thinking love is only a feeling you will be left dissapointed. Love is something you choose. If you really want to spend the rest of your life with this guy, than choose to love him, no matter what. If you live out that choice every day, choosing to love him selflessly, than I can promise you your love will only grow. And if he is a good guy, worthy of that kind of selfless love, he will return it.
Good luck. I really wish you both all the best.
2007-01-04 01:11:44 · answer #1 · answered by A123456789 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Ok without wanting to sound rude, slow down! Your medication is more than likely to take more than 1 month to kick in completely and make the bigger difference! It is a difficult thing to overcome and you will be ok as long as you can be patient with yourself as you are not to blame!
The next thing to realise is yes it is irrational thinking and you probably arent falling out of love with him, the anxiety is just causing pessimistic thoughts. I was once told to read Andrew Matthews book Follow Your Heart which will explain what you can tell yourself to make your thought process go from negative to positive.
When you are with your boyfriend or have an unhappy thought, actually say to yourself (in your head) "STOP, that is not true, you are happy and confident and are very much in love!" The more you say it the more you will believe it. He sounds like he loves you very much to so when he makes a kind gesture say to yourself that there is no logical reason to doubt that you love this man. Soon (hopefully) your demons will leave and you will be happy again.
But remember, keep up with the tablets, believe me they WILL make a difference the longer you take them the more you will notice!
I hope I can be of some help to you.
Chin up
2007-01-04 01:09:37 · answer #2 · answered by amystar 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The first thing you need to ask yourself is what is the reason you have fallen out of love? You say alot of small things. The rest of your life is going to bring alot of small things along with big things as well. I could say don't let them bother you but they do. You should try to seek help with someone who will help you cope with your problems not just taking meds. Remember if this is a great guy who you want to spend your life with then tell your self that when something upsets you. I wish you good luck.
2007-01-04 01:05:49 · answer #3 · answered by Barry W 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am so happy, it was only a 35 minute drive ( 70 minutes total) but absolutely no sign of anxiety or panic i shopped till I dropped - brilliant! I will now go for the next stage DUAL CARRIAGE way, probably at the weekend, with my husband accompanying me first then the solo drive, if successful the final stage of driving on motorway
Beat Anxiety And Panic Attacks Naturally?
2016-05-17 10:40:23 · answer #4 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i dont think that you are falling out of love but your anxiety for everything doesnt let you to enjoy your relatioship with your boyfriend
you have to control yourselffrom having anxiety about everything, dont let it take you down
Be grateful for everything you have and enjoy every single moment seperately without beeing anxious of what the next moment will bring
2007-01-04 01:23:18 · answer #5 · answered by girl24gr 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You may need your dosaged uped. Effexor is crappy...ask for something else
2007-01-04 00:57:59 · answer #6 · answered by xo_mzbeck_ox 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋