I am at university fulltime and also work to pay the bills. My partner wont work and wont live with me as he wants to live with his dad until he makes money as an artist (he has tried for 9 years without any money coming in) I love him and we have always had fun but that is not enough now. I cried this morning as I cant make this months bills after xmas, I rang for his help and he was still in bed at lunchtime and didnt offer any help to me other than he is working hard and who knows??? My Dad is rich but believes people should suffer to succeed and wont help, my mum has her own problems. Any ideas on how to get through the next 12 months at uni from people who have been here?
2007-01-04 00:49:59 · 11 answers · asked by Abigail 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
get a smaller place, dont let your partner stay over and dont give him any money! dont let him live out of your pocket because he will, or already has by the looks of things, come to expect it. if you can go to uni full time and work why cant he get of his lazy *** and get a job 2?! dont just ignore the bills though, call the people they are from and explain it to them and they will be totally fine with it
2007-01-04 00:53:19 · answer #1 · answered by caz 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Can you take out anymore loans or financial aid from the uni or private sources? Have you applied for any state benefits? Food stamps, cash benefits, etc? You'll pay back whatever you use from the state once you graduate and get a job (through working and taxes) so there is no reason to feel shame.
Your boyfriend sounds like a loser, sorry! If he isn't making any money as an artist, he should find any job to make something as well as work on his art. It's pathetic to live at home that long.
Good luck!
2007-01-04 08:54:37 · answer #2 · answered by jen 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The thing to do is to be very frugal with your money. Don't go borrowing money from anyone for any reason. You will only get yourself deeper in debt and cause yourself more financial headaches. Don't live on credit cards because the interest will eat you alive and they will hound you relentlessly for the money you owe especially if you get behind in payments. Pay cash for everything whenever you can. Apply for grants from the government because they are out there for the taking and grants do not have to be paid back. Go to your finncial aid office and ask them about these grants and get the addresses of some of these organizations to which you can apply. Ask them for any other help you might be able to receive and let them know your circumstances.
2007-01-04 08:56:26 · answer #3 · answered by Lewis P 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Listen, I think your boyfriend problem and your money problem are two seperate problems. First of all, why do you feel like your boyfriend who doesnt live with you needs to contribute to paying your bills? You need to be independant and pay your own bills regardless of what your lazy boyfriend is choosing to do with his life. Ok now the second thing is: make a list of all your incoming money and a list for all your bills. Figure out where all your money is going out and see where you can cut back. Also you may need to get another job. It sounds like you've lost perspective on your problems so you need to calm down. If you can't figure it out, go to your father and explain whats going and ask him to help suggest the best way to get ahead, he may give you a loan
2007-01-04 08:56:22 · answer #4 · answered by jim 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I hate to bum you out, but I would seriously think about continuing your relationship with this man. He may be a great guy, buy I see red flags. Yes, I've been there. He's been a freeloader for a long time already, and that will NOT change, I promise. If you end up marrying him, accept the fact that YOU will be the bread winner. In other words, you'll be the 'husband'! Talk to your Dad. It is important for one to concentrate on a good education so their future will be strong. I think your dad would agree. Even if it's just a "loan". Good luck.
2007-01-04 09:05:12 · answer #5 · answered by isis8x3 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all you shouldn't depend on him to help you out with anything at all. That is why he will not go live with you so that he doesn't have to pay for anything. What you do for him is on you, sort of like what you do for kids. Pay for only your things and don't make it easy on him when you go out to eat or don't just let him come and graze threw your food. Tell him that you buy for you seeing as he is not willing to contribute. Take care of number one which is you. He might start to see thew your eyes and have a change in his thinking. He has his dream and you have your, that is okay as long as his dream is not at the expense of your wallet. You can do it if your not carrying someone on your back.
2007-01-04 08:58:07 · answer #6 · answered by LittleDaisy. 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell whats-his-name to hit the road Jack... make a new plan Stan...etc. Love has its limits and it sounds like you are near yours. Obviously he has no intentions of putting his 50% into your relationship. If he's like this now... he will be like this later too. He might shape up if he thinks he will lose you, but likely after your ruffled feathers lay down, so will his short lived enthusiasm.
Full time University student with an interest in her future... and a dead-beat loser? Nice drama in the movies, but, not so fun in reality. He'll drag you down sweetie.
2007-01-04 08:58:37 · answer #7 · answered by bakfanlin 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Im not sure what country you live in. But where I am, students can get payments from the government as they study, it doesnt mean your living on welfare or anything, it simply that youre a stdent and need financial help...everyone needs it from time to time
2007-01-04 08:54:18 · answer #8 · answered by xo_mzbeck_ox 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well for one thing you can't just use your boyfiend for money for you to live. Another thing, I think we have all gone through this at one time or another. How about a better paying job, a cheaper place to live of just spend money within your budget.
2007-01-04 08:54:10 · answer #9 · answered by ♥Sunflower 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Instead of expecting anything from your boyfriend,go to your dad. Make him understand things from your point of view,and ask him to help just once,and make sure,you return all his money back.
2007-01-04 08:57:50 · answer #10 · answered by ANU U 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋