My sister is currently in her second year of university, studying a joint honors in English & History. However, she has become disillusioned with her course. She is constantly on edge, making herself ill with worry, hates the thought of going back this semester, but worries that by leaving, she will have failed herself and fears she will find herself in a job she won't like..
There is no pressure from family or friends to complete the course, and she has good GCSE and A level results.
She has gone to the doctors as this is affecting her day to day life so much,and will recieve counsilling in due course, but feels unable to make the final decision, fearing uncertainty.
What advice do you have for her? Sensible answers only please!!!
2007-01-04 00:41:20 · 8 answers · asked by Alison of the Shire 4 in Education & Reference ➔ Higher Education (University +)
Sounds like what she most needs right now is counselling and support from those around her.
We're all different, but here is my experience. I dropped out of university half way through my second year, having already taken a year out between years 1 and 2 and changed subject. It wasn't right for me. I've never regretted the decision. I lived an interesting and often unusual life, travelled a lot, did various jobs and enjoyed it. Then I found something I really liked doing. I went back to college at 30. I was completely committed to the course I was now on. I worked hard, I got excellent results and am now well established in the career I've chosen, despite my late start.
I think there is a fundamental problem with our basic education system. At 14 you're deciding what GCSEs to take, at 16 what A levels and these can effect all your future choices. At 18 your making decisions about degrees, fundamental to your future, having never experienced anything but education. How can you know what you want to spend your life doing at this age? I don't think I'd even heard of my current career when I was 18! Perhaps what your sister really needs is time and experience to help her work out what it is that she wants.
2007-01-04 01:09:34 · answer #1 · answered by Chris H 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I am in a similar situation. I am a mature student with a child and am currently studing for the access certificate so I can get into uni and be a midwife. I am finding it hard already, but have those same feelings of being a failure. Is there anyone at uni she could talk to? Maybe the counselling services could help, I have heard they are very supportive. If it's time management that is the problem that can be easily sorted. It does seem a shame to give up now though after she has put so much into it already. She does need to sort this out quickly though. I expect it is really hard for you watching her go through this but obviously she is not alone and has lots of family support. She needs to speak to the uni as soon as possible and let them know how she is feeling, they may come up with things to help that she hasn't thought about. I wish your sister and you all the best and hope whatever she chooses to do works out. :-)
2007-01-04 01:11:12 · answer #2 · answered by Michele 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I was exactly the same when I did my BA in History. I hated being there, was skint and stressed. When it got to the BA stage, I took it and ran. I too have good Higher results etc etc but since then I have not been able to get work other than temping jobs. The work I really wanna do is related to my degree so after having a year and a half out to clear my head and get focussed, I've decided that I want to go back to university. I will be starting my honours in February and have plans to eventually go on to do masters and phd.
It's scary to have to make that decision. I felt the same about failure etc etc but I do not regret getting my BA at least as that can be used. If she leaves now, she'll have nothing to show for it and it would be such a shame to have wasted that time. At least if she gets her BA, then she will have more options.
Also, get her to speak to her tutors and the student's union. There is plenty of help available. Universities want to see their students to do well and if she goes to them, they will do everything that they can to help her out.
I really hope this has been of some help. I've been through exactly the same so if you need to contact me for further advice or anything, don't hesitate.
Tell her good luck :)
2007-01-05 00:35:51 · answer #3 · answered by Cat burgler 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think that your sister needs to talk to the university because they hate to see students drop out. I am currently an external student doing what sounds like that same degree as your sister. She should perhaps ask if there is a way she could do the degree part time so take some of the pressure off of her.
If at the end of the day she does leave she is certainly not a failure as university is hard contrary to belief
2007-01-04 00:53:37 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Christmas is always the time when people are most likely to leave... I think this is because from September to December is a such a long term (and the first term away after the long summer is a bit of a culture shock)...then people go back to a big family holiday at Christmas and see what they think they are missing through the year.
Your sister is now half way through her course...it seems like such a waste to give up when she has done so much already.. How did she get on with the first year? If she enjoyed it then remind her of this.. things can still get better... perhaps it's just a lousy term and the course is in a bit of a dip... maybe next term will be better.
I found that friends were the most influential factor in enjoying university... I had a very hard time at uni and I left in my first year at Christmas because I am shy and find it hard to connect with people.. Except I then deferred for the year and changed course.. this helped but I still struggled through the next three years.
I had a flatemate quit the course in the second year at christmas.. exactly the same time as your sister is at now... I often wonder what she is doing now and I also wonder whether she thinks back on how things could be now if she had completed the course.
The things I think your sister really needs to do before she makes this decision are...
1..Ask herself.. what is the problem that is making her on edge... is it fixable? Could the course get better? Or is it something more.. It may be she thinks it is hopeless when in fact all she needs is a bit of courage and positive thinking and she'll find this term better than the last.
2.. Will she regret it? Imagine and really try and picture yourself without the uni course... e.g. When I dropped out of uni I found myself working as cashier in a D.I.Y store :S certainly not a dream of mine!
3... She needs to talk to her tutor or course leader... if she can't talk to them there should be a year support tutor... Even if she just walks into the chaplaincy or Christian Union there will always be someone to talk to and there will always be someone willing to listen. Maybe talking to an outsider will help.. Talking to family is really good but all it is showing your sister is that she has a lot of reasons to stay at home.
4.. Decide if she needs this course for her future.. or if a different course or different university (maybe one closer to home) will be better for her.... it may be that another university will take her on a similar course and enter her in the second year rather than having to start again.
As I said I struggled through my three years.. what got me through it was simply taking it each step at a time.. I'd get from September through to Reading week (Oct) then countdown to Christmas and so on... and then after Christmas there is reading week, then easter, and then a lot of time off for exams. I also counted down through the number of assignments I had left..
I think fear of failure kept me going as well...It got so hard having to explain to people why I dropped out the first time.. and you're meant to write unfinished qualifications on your CV. I got through it... got avery good degree and am really glad I stayed on... otherwise I know I would be looking back right now thinking to myself I would be finished and qualified by now but instead I am starting at the bottom of some company trying to work my way up.
Your sister really needs to make the right decision for her.. if she is still unsure it is much better just to start the term and see how far she can get through it...as long as it doesn't make her too ill.
i really hope it all works out.
2007-01-04 04:10:19 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Maybe there's the possibility of taking a break from it all, giving her chance to figure out what she really wants as all this stress and worry is onviously not doing her any good. She can always go back and complete the course another time if that's what she chooses to do.
I'm sure with the support of the loving family you seem to be and talking to someone at the university that something can be sorted out.
2007-01-04 00:56:26 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
You're life is not to work, but to have fun whilst trying to make a living. Why is she doing the degree? To make money? To be Miserable? To be happy? To be successful?
I know plenty of people who have gone to Uni, and plenty who have not. Strangely, the person I know earning the most money did not go to uni.
She needs to decide why she is doing it, also it is never to late to change careers.
2007-01-04 00:56:28 · answer #7 · answered by PADG_UK 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
she could look into changing majors. I changed majors and it will just take me 6 months longer to finish and I am much happier. All university work is stressful, but if you like that type of career there will be as satisfying ending
2007-01-04 00:51:07 · answer #8 · answered by Wicked 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋