Back when I was younger, I was a very optimist person. Even when life was dim, I managed to look for the bright side and always kept on moving. Always smiling, sincerely happy and confident.
But then, after something happened in my life, something that hit me hard, I stopped being that way.... now I'm more of a pessimist... I'm always expecting the worse and thinking I'm going to fail. These new "lack of trust in life" is preventing me to do many things and from enjoying life to the fullest.
How can I change as a person and go back to my old optimist self? Why do I feel like I'm going to fail, even in situations where it's not logical to think so? How do I regain my confidence?
2007-01-04 00:02:52 · 5 answers · asked by Maine kitten 2 in Social Science ➔ Psychology
As one gets older,and you've gone through the ups and downs of life, you have a tendency to lose your youthful optimism.We all do it , so don't get too down on yourself.Rember the two axiom I have found helpful.#1-only the strong survive and #2--when you're at the bottom, the only way to go is up. Good luck!
2007-01-04 00:17:01 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's difficult once you take that step into a critical mindset to get back to where you were. I am trying the same thing at the moment - maybe it's in the water. :o)
What I have started doing is trying to catch every negative word that comes out of my mouth before I say it - or if I say it, making a mental note to remember that word for next time so I don't say it again. Also taking control of my thoughts and talking more positively through my inner dialogue.
Optimism and a positive character are so valuable - it's nice to see someone else out there values these qualities and wants them back too.
For me - I am married to a man who has had a hard life and tends to expect the worst. I can completely understand why he is this way because of the things he has been through. However, that attitude settled on me after a time and now I'm realising that I refuse to be that way anymore.
Just be forgiving with yourself and you will progress very well. It takes time to turn back against what you have become. But you can do it.
All the best!
2007-01-04 08:17:12 · answer #2 · answered by quay_grl 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like you've had something unfortunate happen to you, and for that I'm truly sorry. I hope whatever it is, you can get over, and good things come your way soon.
It also sounds to me you already understand your situation very well and maturely. The first step in improving yourself is realizing that you can improve. In my opinion, a lot of people don't realize when they're wrong, thus never being able to do right. Congratulations on being one of the people who have the mind set to get more out of life.
I think you need time to heal before you can move on.
Meanwhile, I would suggest setting goals for yourself with priorities as to which is more important and having a clear outline as to how to get there. Remember, goals can change, they are not written in stone, but one is a lot more likely to get somewhere if they are set to head towards that destination. At the same time, give yourself time to think about what these goals are, the more time you have to think about it the less likely you are to pick something you don't want.
It is also said that there is a law governing our reality, like gravity, that likeliness attracts likeliness.
What that means is if you're pessimistic, bad things are more likely to happen to you and if you're optimistic, good things are more likely to happen to you.
In a way it kind of makes sense. If you are pessimistic, you're less likely to try new things, which would reduce your chances for new good things to happen to you?
You can also try something called "fake it until you make it." Basically, act like you're an optimistic person like an actor/actress would. If you fake it enough, eventually you'll become so accustomed to it, it'll start to become you. (This can be said for negative traits as well.)
In any case, I wish you the best.
Take Care,
Ken
2007-01-04 08:22:33 · answer #3 · answered by A: Ken 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ya know what ,I am not a religious person, But !! I have learned the hard way that I can't control everything , that I had to let go and have faith that God will help with handeling the big stuff ,so my advice is to take care of what you can and let God take care of the stuff you can't change, Take a deep breath and start living again Smile you are not alone
2007-01-04 08:27:19 · answer #4 · answered by shelly 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Get the old friends you've got when you are optimist by then. Positive surrounding promotes positive results.
2007-01-04 08:07:09 · answer #5 · answered by wacky_racer 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋