At work I had a crush on a employee?

Question

but he turned out to be straight, he said it was cool and took it as a compliment. But one of my girls told me that he was offended and to stay away from him. Should I try to avoid contact with him after we started to get to know eachother?

Answer 1

Well if HE tells you it's OK then obviouslly he doesn't want there to be any problems between you two or he would've said so. Doesn't matter how polite a person is, if you're uncomfortable you say you're uncomfortable, right?

Anyway, it's not something I'd be too concerned about... straight guys always feel a little funny when they're hit on by another guy. Let this whole thing be the last thing on your mind and pretend like nothing happened because if you act wierd he may think that you were only nice to him because you wanted to get with him.

Answer 2

I have several employees and occasionally I will feel an attraction to one of them. My policy is to NEVER pursue these attractions. Even if the employee turned out to be amenable to a romantic encounter it would be a big mistake to go there. Other employees seeing this might assume that our relationship kept them down because of favoritism toward the preferred employee. If the object of the affections and I ever had a falling out it could lead to retribution against me and my company. Never, never, never go after an employee no matter how big of a crush you have on him. Don't even let him know about it.

Answer 3

You can be friendly without being friends. That's the safest course.

Years ago, I made the mistake of dating a woman I had quasi-supervisory responsibility for. It didn't lead to anything, but it made working with her awkward. And one new hire (not in my department) may have quit because of my clumsily flirting with him (this was before sexual harassment had been defined). I've had lots of crushes on co-workers since then, but I never pursue them. I know it seems like a waste of opportunity (and sometimes takes tremendous self-restraint!), but the risk of complications is too great, doubly so if it's a same-sex thing, and double that if it's a supervisory thing.

Answer 4

If you are the employer you just set yourself up for a sexual harassment suit. I strongly suggest you keep your personal life and your work life very separate. In my company, what you did would be grounds for immediate dismissal, if he complained. I work in a very diverse company, where I can be out, keep a pic of my g/f on my desk, we celebrate PRIDE month in June and I can put her on my health insurance plan if I want. But I would find myself on the sidewalk if I ever came onto another employee at work.

I would speak to your attorney and see what the possible repercussions of a sexual harassment suit might be, besides the fact that he's straight and you are gay.

Answer 5

if you don't plan on confronting him about what your "girls" told you on a friendly level... then yes, stay away from him. perhaps while they're in the room or around. otherwise and in any case gay people don't have legal employment rights in most states so watch yourself... you have no recourse legally speaking if something bad happens... hence a lot of people choosing not to be out or at least be discrete at work.

Answer 6

yes you stay well away from him . any time there is a promotion to be made you set his name on the top of the list and if he is somewhat qualified to do it you promote him .
but stay away from the man even if there is a problem let someone else look after it like the lead hand or whatever.

Answer 7

I somehow feel suspicious that your girl wants the man all to herself. But anyways, just drop it. He's straight. End of story.

Answer 8

I think u should avoid him not because of what u were told but rather bcoz office romance doesnt always go well