Please help me I am not getting any at all, when I do its like a holiday or something... We love each other very much, I just don't know how to make her 'want' it.
2007-01-03 23:19:59 · 15 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
well, besides all of the communication techniques i'm sure you're working on, and all the housecleaning i'm sure you're helping out with... this is what sex therapists do: they give you a 12 week plan and tell you to start slowly, do tons of foreplay, and no sex until a set week, usually week 7 or 8. the key is to not move too fast. remember how fun this was when you were a teenager? the idea is that the progression is duplicated here, as adults. also, both partners re-learn that sex is for pleasure's sake, not for obligations or performance's sake!!!
this following "schedule" can be good for both man or woman having problems with sexual desire, erection, etc.
1st week-- tons of kissing and backrubs-- (do at least 3 times per week for at least an hour for all steps.)
2nd week-- kissing and petting above waist, but keep clothes on.
3rd week-- petting below waist allowed but keep clothes on.
4th week-- manual stimulation for both
5th week-- oral for both
6th week-- manual, oral, everything but penetration
7th week-- penetration but no.. uh... thrusting...
8th-9th week-- sex allowed but let the woman "drive"
10th-12th week-- sex of any kind you like, but man is to be very sensitive to woman's needs.
2007-01-03 23:36:08 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sorry to hear that. But I will tell you if you have kids or she works alot she is tired! And sex is not in her mind. Rest and sleep is. If there is kids, help her out give her some rest time, help her care for them , house work= help, some days jump in there and get almost everything done and she wont have to do much by bedtime except to please each other. And if she works long hours, then help her by doing some of the cooking, the dishs, whatever else comes in to the evening work area in the home. Then when you want to seduce her , well look at what she like or loves to have done to her, back rub ,can be a all over rub, candle lite for mood,or low lights, sexy music know she likes, lots of foreplay, women respondes to touch where a man will respond to sight. Get kinky, what ever kink you both are into then try it after alot of foreplay , you can have a bath tub full of bubbles and a wine to sip , and candles lit up around the bath area, and then do whatever comes to mind in the tub. The key words is her, relax, foreplay and honest loving, with loving words. And then you should be all ok.
2007-01-03 23:40:32 · answer #2 · answered by ladylily29 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Women are more emotional beings. Sometimes it's difficult for some women to even get in the mood. You have to just "do it". Get some great bubble bath and allow her to soak and relax. Get rid of the kids for the evening so there will be no interruptions. Give her an all over body massage, then kiss her and love on her.By her being able to relax and not worry about the cares of the day may be just the break she needs. Be gentle, loving and caring. Tell her to at least give it a chance. Nothing can happen unless you try.
2007-01-03 23:45:24 · answer #3 · answered by leigh 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Your wife still enjoys sex. She does not enjoy it with you. Married women are not different from single women. They want to be chased, and further, they want to be chased by someone they want. You are married, but you still have to be a challenge to your woman. TREAT her like you would a another female that you would try to have sex with. Bottom line- we get married, responsibilities change. The ways men and women are attracted to each other never change, married or not. If you don't learn how to be attracted to your wife, you can pour bubble baths and do back rubs, whatever, she'll still never want you.
2007-01-04 00:18:45 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
First have your wife see her doctor to rule out anything physical.
You didn't say how old she was so it could have to do with menopause or peri-menopause.
Her testosterone levels could be low.
Her thyroid could be out of whack.
After ruling out physical reasons....you two should sit down and compromise. If you're not doing it at all now try moving it up to once every 5-6 weeks and then try once every month etc.
2007-01-04 00:53:43 · answer #5 · answered by daljack -a girl 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Try 2 know her fantasies about sex..try discuss ur problem openly wth her sumday...Y does she nt hv the desire..Is she getting round wth sum1..try to find this out...
If she still refuses then i wud suggest u to tell her openly dat it is a need for a happy & dedicated married life & she needs to co-operate too.If nt hv an extra marital affair...
Good luck Sir..Hope ur wife understands u & everything is sorted out soon
2007-01-03 23:31:29 · answer #6 · answered by Kashish 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
10 years after my marriage , now i am enjoying the sex. It will take more days, months or years for women. Mostly after 30 years of age.
2007-01-03 23:44:22 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
one other thing
try to minimize the home work load on her
if she is working all the day in the kitchen , with the kids,...
she will have no desire to anything but sleep
take a vaccation in a good place where she can relax , that way should would be in the mode for it
2007-01-04 00:48:28 · answer #8 · answered by stranger 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sex doesn't start in the bedroom! Make her feel sexy all day,call her and say sweet things! Flirt with her! Try it you'll be surprised how your sex life will inprove!
2007-01-03 23:34:18 · answer #9 · answered by kelley1031 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Dude, I wish my bf was like you. Crap, I want it all the time. I flirt, I tease, I talk sexy and dirty...He is incredible when we do it - all of it hands, mouth, and you know...but I am lucky to get it three times a week. And one of those times is usually a quickie (ok, 10 min) in the morning (quietly in bed or in the laundry room). Man, I want him all the time. I am not fat or ugly...I am 32 years old.
2007-01-04 01:52:49 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋